


I Am the One

by ObsianCaetus



Category: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-01-25 23:34:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 72,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12543792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsianCaetus/pseuds/ObsianCaetus
Summary: From meek Circle mage to a hardened Grey Warden Commander, this is the tale of Awina Amell's rise to Hero of Ferelden and savior of Thedas in 9:30 Dragon but this is a tale few know beyond the grand stories and songs. Few know the true sacrifices made for our salvation.**Retelling of main game story as well as all DLC (excluding Darkspawn Chronicles)





	1. Harrowed in Blood

“Awina… Awina! Are you alright?” A familiar male voice called to her in the swirling haze of darkness.

Awina Amell, freshly Harrowed mage of the Ferelden Circle of Magi, found her clouded vision filled with the visage of a familiar Templar face as the world came back into focus. It took a few moments before she could recall the events that had transpired that led to her predicament.

“C-Cullen? Maker, Jowan!” She shouted in alarm, bolting upright only to have her stomach clench in nausea and a fresh way of dizziness consume her for a few tense moments.

There was so much blood splashed across the smooth stone floor as Awina looked upon the hall with shock and horror. Thankfully, it seemed no one was hurt as the Templars Gregoir had brought with him were getting to their feet, helping the Knight Commander up. First Enchanter Irving appeared unharmed as well; which meant all this blood was from Jowan. She still couldn’t wrap her head around the idea that, for however long, Jowan had been a Maleficarum, a wolf in sheep’s skin. The sting of betrayal, of being lied to all these years, it was like a sword had sliced through her heart. Now she understood why he feared being made Tranquil.

“This is your fault, Irving! If you had trusted me to act sooner, the blood mage would not have escaped!” the grizzled Knight Commander snarled at his colleague, anger written all over his face.

They argued for a bit, Irving standing firm by his justifications. Awina knew as well as Irving did if Gregoir had simply arrested Jowan, his conspiracy with Lily’s involvement was likely to have been ignored or never discovered in the first place. However, her involvement in their schemes made her just as guilty. Gregoir started threatening to send her to Aeonar, the mage’s prison. Those imprisoned there, often, went mad or, in the case of mages, were eventually possessed and executed at least. Finally, Gregoir’s rage turned on her.

“Newly harrowed and already flouting the rules! I should slap you in manacles and ship you to Aeonar immediately!” He spat; face tinted red with his rage.

“Awina was acting under my orders, Gregoir.” Irving protested in her defense, drawing the Knight Commander's attention back to him.

“She conspired with a blood mage! Facilitated his escape! She could be a blood mage as well…”

They devolved into a shouting match, and all she could do was helplessly stand there, silver eyes fighting back tears of fear. The day’s events had been stressful, Jowan’s escape following on the heels of her Harrowing. She felt guilty for her role, but she had only done what she thought was right in service to the Circle, her home.

“Perhaps I could offer a suitable solution?” A third voice intruded, belonging to the Grey Warden that had been visiting all week. Gregoir’s scowl deepened and he stamped his foot down.

“NO! She will not be rewarded for her treachery!” He snarled at him.

“Then I will invoke the Right of Conscription. I would hope even the Knight Commander knows what that means.” Duncan countered, verbally knocking the wind out of Gregoir’s sails.

Awina could only helplessly listen as her fate decided for her. She would be conscripted into the Grey Wardens and forced to leave the Circle to join them in Ostagar. There, she would be initiated into the Order and assist King Cailan’s forces in fighting back the Darkspawn. She would leave with Duncan just at dawn to make the trek south. She may never see the Circle again.

Exhausted, Awina retired to her room. The bed was made and her few possessions were stacked on the desk; a couple of journals that contained her notes and studies, a new staff, and a couple of robes and other clothes. She did not possess much, considering most of her life until now had been spent in the apprentice dormitories but now, now she was being marched off to war. She was exhausted, and her heart ached. She didn’t want to leave; the Circle was all she knew. Though the idea of being able to explore the world beyond Lake Calenhad had always intrigued her, this was not how she wanted to do it. She needed sleep, a long journey waiting for her in the morning.

As she was undressing, she heard a soft knock at the door, likely the Templar guard posted outside checking in on her. She sighed wearily, confused why Gregoir would believe that she would resort to blood magic. She had no idea of Jowan’s real intentions and the thought of the rituals involved in blood magic disgusted her.

“I am still here, Ser Moran. I am simply heading to be… Cullen?” She called back, glancing over her shoulder when she heard the door open, robe slipping from her shoulders.

“My apologies Amell!” Cullen yelped, immediately averting his eyes as he closed the door behind him, cheeks turning red.

“It’s ok… it’s not like you have not seen me bare before, Ser Cullen.” She said, relieved to see a friendly face, someone she trusted. She pulled her robe back up, blushing as she turned to face him. “Why are you here? The Knight-Commander seemed quite adamant I have no visitors tonight.”

“I relieved Ser Moran of his watch and took his place. I hear you are to leave the Circle in the morning.” Cullen replied, his face etched with worry.

“Yes. I am to join the Grey Wardens at Ostagar for my initiation into the order. I… did not imagine my day going like this, but I should have suspected something was amiss with Jowan sooner. Perhaps I…”

“Jowan made his choice. Do not trouble your heart with his ill decision. It was unfair of the First Enchanter to get you mixed up in this on his behalf. You could have been seriously injured.” Cullen replied.

“I almost was if not for Duncan… but I do not think being marched to war is a fairer fate. I am frightened, Cullen. Though I’ve wished to see the world and learn from it, I do not want to leave the Circle like this; like some criminal.” Awina sighed in sorrow.

“You will be missed here. I’ve already overheard some of the Enchanters whispering about your departure with sorrow in their hearts. I will miss you as well, Awina.” Cullen said, cupping his hand against her cheek.

The Templar drew the mage to him, armored arms wrapped around her carefully as if she were made of porcelain. Awina rested her cheek against the cold plane of his chest plate, lost in thought. She would be leaving behind Cullen as well, someone she believed she loved.

“I will miss you, Cullen… a great deal.” She whispered, curling her fingers against his armor.

He leaned down and captured her lips with his own in a slow kiss, gloved hands moving down to settle upon the small of her back. She slid her hands up to his shoulders, circling his neck as she responded tenderly. Their lips moved in the familiar dance, tongues following suit as the flames of desire burned through their blood, hearts racing with desperation. Soon, Cullen was pulling his gloves off as Awina’s nimble hands slipped under the gaps of his armor and loosened the straps and buckles in a speed that spoke she had done this numerous times before.

Her robes moved over the heated skin of her pale shoulders as he pulled the smooth fabric down off her arms. Her breath caught in her chest as Cullen pulled the robe over the curve of her hips, letting it fall to pool around her ankles. When he felt the weight of his chest plate shift, he pulled his hands away and started removing his armor. Awina moved to sit on the edge of her bed as she watched him, cheeks and throat painted pink.

Cullen climbed on top of her, Awina scooting back until the back of her shoulders touched the pillows. He smiled at her, noticing the tears welling in her silver pools. He wiped the liquid from her long lashes and kissed her again.

“No tears this night, Amell. We shall relish in each other’s warmth and remember this moment forever. One day, you’ll be welcome back here.”

* * *

 

“Andraste’s tits, the mosquitoes here are the size of mabari!” Alistair complained loudly as he swatted at the back of his neck yet again.

Awina winced as she felt her boots sinking into the soft swamp soil. The Kocari Wilds were not quite as she had imagined, but then she hadn't expected to be made to hunt Darkspawn so soon after arriving at Ostagar. It seemed Duncan was in a hurry to initiate the recruits before the attack tonight though no one appeared to know what the ritual entailed. Alistair, the 'junior' Grey Warden, was very tight-lipped about the matter, but she understood. It was the same when it came to the Harrowing for the Circle. She wondered if the Grey Warden ritual was just as trying.

"Oh no. Darkspawn ahead. Jory, up with me and Daveth, keep Awina safe." Alistair ordered, pulling his sword from its sheath and shield set at the ready.

Up ahead were several Hurlocks, clad in rusted, grimy armor. Awina felt panic grip her as Alistair and Ser Jory charged ahead, Daveth pulling his bow off his back and notching an arrow. She realized she needed to be helping, but her mind was a blank. The Circle had not prepared her for actual combat; facing a real life-threatening situation was different from practice within a safe environment. It was even worse than facing that Rage demon in the Fade. She found herself shaking and having a hard time focusing her mana on casting the spells.

A Hurlock rushed past Alistair and Jory, howling as it came right for her. Awina screamed in terror as she back-peddled rapidly, tripping over her boots as they sank into the soft ground. Her staff fell from her grip, the Hurlock still rushing at her. She threw her hands up to shield herself, but the Hurlock suddenly stumbled and fell a few inches shy, gurgling as it twitched for a few seconds before lying still.

"Awina! Are you alright?" Daveth asked, rushing to her and helping the young mage to her feet.

Awina didn't respond at first, panting as she stared at the dead Hurlock, an arrow through its throat. Black blood was seeping into the grass but the sight of its lifeless face, of the idea that she would have been run through a few seconds ago if Daveth hadn't saved her… her stomach couldn't take it anymore. She ran to the nearest bush as breakfast and the rations they had an hour ago came back up.

"Is everyone alright?" Alistair asked, looking with worry in Awina's direction as she vomited.

"She's unharmed but quite spooked, poor girl," Daveth told him when he shot the man a quizzical look.

Once her stomach had emptied itself and her nerves had calmed, somewhat, Awina got to her feet. Her skin was slick with sweat and hands visibly shaking. Alistair pulled her aside, arm around her shoulders in a reassuring gesture.

"Awina… are you going to be alright?" He asked worriedly, voice lowered so the others wouldn't hear them.

"I… I think so. I… I'm terrified Alistair. I've never fought before and I just…" Awina tried to reply, throat locking up as fresh tears came to her eyes.

"It'll be ok. Just stay close. We'll keep you safe." He promised, patting her on the shoulder and giving her an encouraging smile.

They made their way through the rest of the wilds to where the tower once stood. The ruins were being guarded by a large group of Darkspawn. Though still terrified from the first few conflicts, Awina concentrated as hard as she could to support the others. The fight with the Darkspawn spell caster earlier had left her weakened, but she managed to tough through the encounter, Daveth killing the last Darkspawn. When they searched the remains of the tower, they found the chest, or at least, what little remained of it. There was no trace of the papers they were set to retrieve and they all concluded that they must have rotted away along with the chest itself.

"Well, well… what do we have here? Vultures digging in the bones of those who are here no longer?" A sultry, feminine voice called, startling them all.

Awina swallowed nervously as the woman came down the cracked remains of the stairs, her dress insinuating she was Chasind, at least that’s what Alistair and the others believed her to be. Her golden eyes regarded them coldly until they fell upon her. There was a curiosity to them as the woman turned her attention to her. Awina shrank back a step, intimidated by the weight of the woman’s stare. There was also the fact Awina could feel the power flowing through her blood. The teachers at the Circle had assured her that this trait was common amongst mages, but she always believed no one was as sensitively attuned to lyrium as she was.

"Women do not frighten as easily as children. Give me your name and I shall give you mine." The woman demanded.

"A-Awina, ma'am. My name's Awina A-Amell." She replied nervously, eyes darting to the ground as she was unable to hold the woman's gaze for more than a few seconds.

"Hmph, a Circle mage… a lamb brought to slaughter. Well, you may call me Morrigan. The papers you're looking for are here no longer." She replied thoughtfully.

"And how would you know what we're looking for?" Alistair questioned suspiciously.

“There's not been anything of value here for centuries. The chest rotted away quite a long time ago, but my mother has kept your precious parchments safe. I've been watching you since you entered the wilds. A curious sort, given all the Darkspawn around."

After a little more back and forth, Morrigan agreed to take them to her mother. She led them through the swamp, deeper into the Kocari Wilds, until they came across a quaint little hut hidden, partially, by the thick growth of weeds all around it. An old woman was sitting in front of a fire, tending to a pot. She smiled and stood up as they approached.

"I see you've brought guests, girl." She said, giving them all a curious look.

"Yes. They are Grey Wardens looking for their papers." She replied snidely.

"Ah, yes. I do have them. The wards protecting them wore off long ago, so I've been keeping them safe." She replied, Morrigan disappearing into the hut to retrieve them.

"Oh, you have. Um… thank you but why?" Alistair sheepishly asked when Morrigan returned and pushed the folded, musty parchments against his chest before returning to the hut.

"Maybe I just like collecting old moldy papers. However, I know how important those are, and I feel you might need them soon enough. This conflict with the Darkspawn… it is larger than any of you realize. But, that's just the ramblings of an old wilder woman." She replied with a sly smile.

"Um… who are you?" Awina asked meekly, having felt the immense power from her.

"Me? Well, I suppose you could call me Flemeth. That has been my name for quite a long time." She replied with a knowing smile.

"F-Flemeth? As in _the_ Witch of the Wilds?! But, I…" Awina stammered, trying to process the revelation.

"Flemeth's not such an uncommon name but yes, in this case, I would be that Flemeth. You best be returning to where your camp. It shall be dark soon, and you do not want to be out here when the sun's light has faded." She warned.

Morrigan, unwillingly, led them back to the edge of the Kocari Wilds before disappearing again. Awina thought about what had transpired as they returned to Duncan, but now they would have to focus on other matters. There was the Joining to complete, and then a war to fight, neither of which she was looking forward to.

* * *

 

"Daveth! Help him!" Awina cried as she saw the man lying on the ground, motionless.

"There's no helping him now. He was not strong enough. Jory, drink." Duncan replied, voice hollow and frightening all at the same time as he held out the hammered chalice in Jory's direction, walking towards him.

"N-no… no! I will not end up like him!" Jory protested, drawing his sword as he stepped away from him.

Awina could only watch, another frightened sob escaping her as she watched Duncan hand the chalice to Alistair and pin Jory to the wall, blades running through the man’s armor as if it were cloth. She started to back away as Alistair passed the chalice back to Duncan, and they both looked at her. Jory’s blood smeared across the Grey Warden’s armor, a grim expression on his face as he held the chalice out to her.

"Drink Awina. There is no going back on your oath." He said as he stepped closer.

"Please, Awina…" Alistair pleaded, already torn about two recruits dying during the ritual.

Choked sobs escaped her as she froze in place, Duncan pushing the chalice into her hand. The hammered metal was cold to the touch, and when she glanced down, she saw the contents of it were as black as a moonless night. She could smell the coppery aroma of blood and her throat gagged at the thought of drinking even a drop of it. But… she had no choice. Her silver eyes glanced at Daveth, eyes milk white and unmoving. Then she glanced at Jory, a pool of blood under him and face twisted in disbelief and horror. Her hands shook as she held the chalice, stomach churning uncomfortably at the thought of what she was about to do. A small whimper escaped her as she lifted it to her lips and drank.

The blood was thick and bitter, and she nearly choked on it as she forced herself to swallow, body attempting to protest the effort. It burned as it slid down her throat, and she almost dropped the chalice, Duncan catching it as she stumbled. Her vision swam and wavered as she struggled to stand before falling to her knees, clutching at her throat as it suddenly became hard to breathe. The last thing she could remember was the world going black as she fell onto the cold stone.

* * *

 

_It looked like the Fade. It felt like the Fade, but there was something wrong with it. An army marched in the winding and twisting caverns and tunnels. There were hundreds of thousands of Darkspawn. War… war and destruction were coming and overlooking it all was a beast twisted by darkness, corrupted wings spread wide as milk-white eyes watched over the seething horde below it. Teeth jut out of its maw haphazardly as its head swiveled back and forth before its attention focused on her._

_It could see her… It KNEW she was there._

Awina woke up with a startled scream, finding herself lying on the same cold stone. Every fiber of her body ached as she tried to move. When she lifted her head, Jory and Daveth's bodies were gone. Alistair was kneeling next to her, looking quite relieved.

"You're alive, that's a relief. Everyone survived my Joining, but that doesn't matter now. How are you feeling?" He said, voice soft and full of worry.

"I feel like death…" Awina gasped, voice raspy and throat still feeling as if she had swallowed fire.

"It'll feel like that for a bit. Come, you have to get up. Duncan's already gone ahead to the meeting." Alistair replied, trying to be encouraging and failing at it.

"I… my head hurts. I keep hearing whispers… like a bug buzzing in my ear." Awina complained.

"Ya… you'll get used to that. Come on, I'll help you there."

Alistair supported the young mage as they walked to where the meeting was being held. Duncan gave a simple nod of his head though Cailan was more enthusiastic about their arrival. He seemed very unconcerned or unconvinced that they could be dealing with a possible Blight. Loghain was giving the three wardens sour looks throughout the entire meeting. Awina and Alistair would head to the Tower of Ishal to light the beacon when it was time for Loghain's men to swoop in. Duncan met with them at the bonfire again for one last discussion. Alistair wasn't happy about the mission, but Awina was still trying to process everything that had happened in the past couple of weeks. Duncan touched her shoulder gingerly, drawing her gaze up, but she could not hold his gaze and looked back down at the trodden grass, shying away from him. He had murdered Jory in cold blood right in front of her; the chills were still racing down her spine.

"I still don't like that we're being made to be Loghain's errand boys… boy and girl. We should be out on the field with you and the rest of the Wardens Duncan." Alistair protested yet again.

"Your job is just as important. If that signal is not ignited as scheduled, we could very much lose this battle. You two finish getting ready. It will be a long night for everyone."

* * *

 

Awina scrambled across the floor as the piece of pillar flew mere inches over her head. The ogre bellowed as Alistair and the two soldiers that had joined them continued to engage it though its advantage in height and brute strength were proving to be more than a match for them. Awina got to her feet, feeling weakened from the fight. Getting through the Darkspawn had been exhausting and was pushing her to the limits of her strength. She grabbed the last vial of lyrium potion she had on her belt. The Ogre grabbed Alistair and lifted him straight off his feet, slowly crushing the man in its grasp.

"Alistair!" She screamed in panic, feeling some strength returning to her as the lyirum seeped into her

Working as fast as she could, she wove a fire spell and flung it right at the ogre. The creature shrieked as the attack struck it right in the eye, black blood pouring from the wound. Alistair fell to the floor as the beast stumbled back, yowling as it clutched at the wound. She ran to the man's side to check on him but, thankfully, he was unwounded. The other two soldiers surged forward with renewed vigor, bringing the ogre down to one knee as it attempted to swat at them, one hand still pressed to its face, blood seeping between its thick fingers.

With a wild yell, Alistair charged forward and lunged, slamming his shield into the brute's face. The ogre growled as it tumbled back, falling on its pack. Before it could grab him, Alistair scrambled up to its head and drove his sword through its skull with a sickening, wet crunch. Black blood started to pool underneath it as the creature ceased twitching a few breaths later. Once he was certain the creature was dead, Alistair pulled his sword free, panting heavily.

"Awina! The fire!" He called, glancing at the fireplace.

Awina hurried over, fumbling to grab the flint and stone from her pouch. After a few moments of trying to get her trembling fingers to function properly, she cursed herself for not thinking to use magic. A small flame was enough to set the logs ablaze, nurturing them into a roaring blaze moments later. With the signal lit, they both ran to the window overlooking the battlefield. All they could see in the pitch darkness and rain were the torches lit far below. They could make out where Loghain's men were waiting but, instead of coming to the king's aid, the torch lights began to retreat north.

"No… no, what is he doing?!" Alistair groaned in dismay as they watched the scene unfold.

"He's… he's retreating. Loghain… but the king. Alistair, we have to get out of here." Awina panicked, realizing that this was a lost cause.

"Maker curse him! He'll pay for this!"

Chances for escape, however, were quickly dashed as the door was smashed open by a Hurlock Alpha's ax, Darkspawn pouring in behind it armed with crossbows. The soldiers that came with them fell to the Darkspawn first. Alistair tried to protect her with his shield as arrows rained down, but she felt a sharp pinch in her stomach and looked down to find a tainted bolt jutting halfway out of her gut. In disbelief, she grazed her fingers along the tattered feathering.

"Awina!" Alistair exclaimed, but his voice sounded so far off.

She didn't even feel the second bolt pierce her inches above her heart. She only felt herself being flung to the floor as Darkspawn rushed at them. There was no point in fighting; she was going to die here. As she lay there, waiting for that final blow and vision hazed with blood, the last thing she thought she saw was a rain of black feathers and fading screams before darkness consumed her.


	2. The Meek Lamb

The shriek startled Leliana awake, a cry of agony and fear that pierced the depths of her dreams and drew her, harshly, back into the waking world. Believing they were being attacked, the orlesian swiftly grabbed the curved dagger from under her pillow and rolled out of her tent. She wore only her loose tunic and small-clothes. Her bleary vision took a few moments more to clear but in the darkness, she saw Sten had also been roused by the cry and, desperately, she sought the source of the noise. However, it seemed that they were not in any danger from the darkness.

Alistair was cradling Awina in his arms, the young mage’s face pressed into his chest and sobbing loudly as he rubbed her back and whispered soothing words in her ear. Fully awake, Leliana relaxed, arm dropping to her side, only to have Morrigan push past her.

“Move!” The wilder woman snarled as she hurried to Awina’s side.

Sten grunted and went back to his bedroll. Leliana watched quietly as Morrigan and Alistair both fussed over the woman. She recalled how she had met the mage in Lothering, preventing an altercation between them and some of Loghain’s soldiers. She didn’t believe the rumors that the Grey Wardens had caused the death of King Cailan. Something more was going on, especially with Loghain recalling all of the troops he had stationed in southern Ferelden. Awina… the woman reminded her of the Hawkes, specifically the eldest daughter, Rayne, and the youngest daughter, Bethany. Both women she recalled had silver eyes, much like Awina did. Leliana had noted that resemblance between Awina and Rayne was quite uncanny; they could almost pass for sisters. It was highly unlikely the two were related.

Awina had fallen back asleep, and Alistair was laying her out on her bedroll, Morrigan already heading back to her small encampment a short distance away. Leliana put her dagger back under her pillow and retrieved her breeches and leather cuirass, knowing it was almost time for her turn at watch. Maxis, the girl’s mabari, whimpered as he settled down next to his mistress, head lying on her stomach protectively. Once dressed, she approached Alistair to check on how he was doing.

“Is she alright? The poor dear, her scream scared me half to death.” Leliana commented, looking over at the woman briefly.

“Morrigan gave her something to help her go back to sleep. Grey Wardens can hear the communications between the Darkspawn and the Arch Demon.” Alistair explained, seemingly relieved to have some company.

“Maker, that must be awful.”

“You get used to it, but Awina’s only been a Grey Warden for barely a week. Morrigan thinks her sensitivity to the Fade makes the visions more… real. One thing is for certain, though, and that’s we’re facing a real Blight led by an Arch Demon. Duncan was right to be worried.” He sighed, shoulders slumping in exhaustion.

“You two do not walk an easy path. I understand Awina is from the Circle on Lake Calenhad? How did she come to be recruited by the Grey Wardens?” Leliana asked, sitting down next to him.

“From what she told me, Duncan conscripted her. Apparently she got mixed up with a blood mage while Duncan was there, and the Knight Commander was going to punish her if Duncan hadn’t interfered. It wasn’t the greatest of situations but Duncan saw promise in her.” Alistair replied to her inquiry, his expression sympathetic.

“Thrown into the wild of the world… the poor girl. This must all be very new to her.”

“Ya. Mages aren’t allowed to leave the tower. She had just been Harrowed too so, going through two initiation trials within a fortnight. Maker, Awina stronger than me.”

“You support each other. You two already share a bond, and it will only strengthen on this journey. You should get some rest, Alistair. I will take my watch.”

“Thanks, Leliana. I’ll see you in the morning.”

* * *

 

Before dawn broke, Awina woke from her slumber. Though the vision had shaken her again, the herbs Morrigan had given her had ensured she was well-rested. She was grateful for the witch’s knowledge of such medicines and remedies and reminded herself to thank her when she got the chance. Maxis chuffed when he realized she was awake, licking her cheek in greeting as she sat up.

“Morning, Maxis. Need a walk?” She greeted, patting the dog on the head as she sat up.

Maxis wiggled his backside, Awina getting up and fetching her robe and worn boots. She winced at the thought of the blisters she would likely develop today. It was a good thing she had taken those lessons on rudimentary healing magic. It helped stave off developing severe injury though it didn’t help the constant ache that had settled in her calves. Once fully dressed, Awina decided to do a walk around the camp. She noted that she couldn’t see Leliana, knowing the ley sister was supposed to be on watch. Maxis went rustling around in the shrubbery as she found a peaceful spot to do her morning prayers.

“Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him. Foul and corrupt are they, who have taken His gift and turned it against His children. They shall be named Maleficar, accursed ones. They shall find no rest in this world or beyond.”

“Transfigurations 1. The mantra of the Circle of Magi,” Leliana commented.

Awina jumped in alarm, nearly losing her footing and earning a laugh from the red-headed woman as she turned to face her. She noted that Leliana had her bow and quiver with her, several squirrels and a couple of hares tied to her belt.

“I apologize, I didn’t mean to startle you Awina. An impressive selection for a morning prayer.” Leliana said, eyes and smile full of warm mirth.

“Ah, yes… I say it every morning to remind myself that my gift is a blessing of the Maker and meant to be used to help others, not for selfish gain.” Awina replied shyly, face turning pink.

“Admirable. I have not encountered many outside of the priesthood with such displays of devotion, especially mages. Most seem to have an apprehension of the Chantry and its teachings.”

“Many do for reasons of their own. Being watched day and night is not as comforting as the Chantry makes it out to be. Not all of the Templars are as kind or understanding and others hide wickedness in their hearts just as any man does.” Awina replied, her gaze averted.

“Come, dawn is breaking, and the others will be rousing soon. I managed to catch us some breakfast.” Leliana offered, tilting her head in the direction of the camp.

Together, they returned to the camp. Dawn broke the horizon, the rest of their companions already up and around. Awina watched Leliana clean and skin her kills, wondering if she should learn such a skill as a precaution. This world outside the tower was still, wholly, unfamiliar to her and she felt lost and tiny. Her only friend right now was Alistair, though she still did not fully trust him after what happened with the Joining ritual. She was still unsure of what to make of Sten, and she had an academic fascination with Morrigan… not that mage wanted to discuss much of anything with her right now. Leliana was an intrigue to her, more to her than a reformed Ley Sister. Her skill with blade and bow was frightening. Awina remembered how she danced around those soldiers in the tavern, and it had been beautifully terrifying.

After they had eaten, they resumed their trek west to reach Redcliffe. Awina noticed she could see the shores of Lake Calenhad though the Circle Tower was far to the north. She felt a little homesick, wondering if any of the mages from Ostagar had escaped the carnage. It would take them another three days before they reached Redcliffe Village. Awina was looking forward to seeing civilization. She had never seen a city before, only seen drawings and maps in the archives of such places.

When they stopped for the evening, Awina was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to lay down and sleep. Morrigan was making dinner tonight, using what was left of the game meat Leliana had caught earlier that day. She sat on her bedroll staring up at the stars and hand resting on Maxis’s head. She didn’t even realize Morrigan had called for the evening meal until Leliana approached her with an earthen bowl in hand.

“The stars are beautiful tonight, aren’t they?” Leliana commented as she sat down beside her, passing her the bowl of stew.

“Yes, exquisite. I’m stills astonished by how many there are. The tower didn’t have any windows though they had star charts. I can identify many of the constellations tonight.” Awina replied, smiling as she took the bowl, glad to have some food that were not travel rations.

“You are quite learned. Did the Tower raise you?” The orlesian required curiously.

“Yes. I was given to the Circle very young though I don’t remember much prior to my time here in the Ferelden Circle.” Awina replied, carefully using magic to cool her meal enough so it wouldn’t burn her tongue when she ate.

“Hey, that’s handy. Could you do that to mine?” Alistair quipped when he saw what Awina did.

“Sure. A moment…” the young mage chuckled, setting aside her bowl and giving Maxis a stern warning not to eat her food.

Alistair passed her his bowl, and she performed the spell, cooling the meal enough where it was safe to eat but still warm. Thankful, Alistair took his bowl back and started to scarf it down. Awina’s stomach growled quite loudly as well, reminding her it was famished. Becoming a Grey Warden seemed to come with an increased appetite, and she picked her bowl up and started to eat.

“You two have quite ravenous appetites.” Leliana chuckled as she observed them eat with gusto.

“Comes with being a Grey Warden. Increased endurance and strength come with a bottomless gut.” Alistair joked, getting up to fetch a second helping.

“Indeed. I’ve noticed my appetite has tripled since Ostagar. I am feeling less tired each day as well during our treks.” Awina noted, finishing the last drops of stew from her bowl.

“Your body is strengthening. Traveling great distances will soon be of no consequence.” Leliana told her, patting Maxis when he came over to beg for scraps.

Once the meal had been finished, Leliana and Alistair started cleaning up when they both noticed Morrigan wander into the camp, which was rare unless the witch wanted something.

“Awina. May I speak with you… alone? And bring your staff.” The witch said curtly, addressing the young mage directly.

“Alright.”

The two wandered back towards Morrgian’s small encampment though Awina wasn’t sure what the wilder woman wanted with her. They had brief discussions about magic, mostly Awina having questions about what Morrigan knew as opposed to the magics taught within the Circle. The raven-haired woman rounded on her, yellow eyes stern as she stared at her. Awina flushed lightly, suddenly feeling subconscious under the weight of her gaze.

“You are still letting fear consume you during battle. You’re going to get one, if not all, of us, killed.” She sniffed.

“I… I know but I am not a warrior. The Circle didn’t…”

“Temper you. You practice your spells with little risk, coddled and protected. Such is not the case out here, in the wild of the world. Even civilized places are a danger. You must be able to protect yourself and the rest of us if we have any hope of stopping this Blight.” Morrigan continued, picking up her staff.

“Then… are you going to tutor me?” Awina asked uneasily.

“Not exactly. We will fight but if you do not fight me as if your life is at risk, you will learn nothing.” Morrigan lectured, already preparing a spell.

Awina barely caught the surge in energy from within the mage and hastily erected a barrier spell. The lighting that crackled forth shattered through it, forcing her to stumble back. As she struggled to recover, Morrigan started casting another spell, and she hastily tried to counter. A blur of movement to her left caught her attention, but her reaction was too slow. Suddenly, her arm was severed inches below the elbow, limp and staff falling away from her. In disbelief, she stared at the stump, then looked up to see herself facing a Hurlock, black liquid oozing from its bared teeth. She screamed when pain and terror hit her all at once.

“Awina!” Alistair’s voice called, snapping her back to reality.

Both Leliana and Alistair were standing with her, Alistair’s hands on her shoulders. Heart thundering in her chest, she looked down at her left hand and found it still intact, though her staff was on the ground. Her stomach clenched at the memory of the attack just seconds ago and looked up at Morrigan, seeing the witch smirk. She had hexed her; cast an illusion so convincing that it had completely fooled Awina.

“What the hell did you do to her, witch?!” Alistair hissed as he rounded on Morrigan, leaving Leliana to help the mage out of her shock.

“I… I am fine. It… it wasn’t real.” Awina muttered, visibly shaking and clutching her left arm to herself.

“If she is to lead us, since you do not wish to do so, Alistair, she cannot be a weak Circle lamb. She must have the fangs and claws of a wolf if we are to survive this. Grey Wardens do what they must, yes?” Morrigan snapped back, completely un-phased by Alistair’s disapproval.

“How dare…” He growled, only to have Awina cut him off.

“Alistair! It’s okay. Morrigan’s right; I have to not let fear rule me if I’m going to be of use to anyone. I can’t always have you protecting me.” Awina spoke up, her nerves calmed a bit.

“But… alright, but don’t go getting yourself hurt, ok?” Alistair sighed in defeat.

“The severity of her injuries will be dependent on how quickly she learns… but I will try my best not to cripple her.” Morrigan said with a wicked grin.

Alistair glared her one last time before wandering off. Leliana had hung back for a few seconds before Awina assured her she would be alright. She and Morrigan sparred for what seemed like hours, but it couldn’t have been more than thirty minutes or so. Awina was panting and exhausted, her energy spent. Morrigan, on the other hand, was only mildly winded. Her hexes and illusions were much more powerful than Awina had ever encountered. She could rival the sill of the First Enchanter himself.

“It is progress, but you spend too much time thinking. You must let instinct guide you and trust in your decisions, else your hesitation will result in injury or death.” Morrigan lectured, scowling a little.

“I… understand. Maker, I don’t think even the First Enchanter could rival your power, Morrigan.” Awina said an admiration in her voice and expression that made Morrigan uncomfortable.

“Do not think I will go easy on you simply because you compliment me.” Morrigan huffed.

“I would think you ill if you did. Perhaps… you could teach me some of what you know? There is strength in knowledge, especially for a mage.” Awina asked hopefully, despite her sore body demanding rest.

“I would think a Circle mage would be adverse to the idea of being taught magic outside of what little they know.” the wilder woman sniffed in return.

“Perhaps but I… I am not a Circle mage anymore. I belong to the Grey Wardens. Regardless, I would never turn down an opportunity to learn something I do not know, except for blood magic.” Awina explained.

“I see. Well, I suppose I can indulge you, provided you can keep up because I do not like repeating myself. For now, you need rest.”

“You’ll uphold your word?”

“Yes, yes. I will mix in lessons with our sparring. Now begone and take your filthy mongrel with you and teach him to stop sticking his nose in my things!”


	3. Temptations

“You’re what?!” Awina replied in alarm, jaw hanging open in disbelief.

“What are you two babbling about now?” Morrigan grumbled as the rest caught up with them.

Alistair had drawn Awina aside to discuss a private matter when they had entered the outskirts of Redcliffe Village. However, her surprise outburst drew everyone’s attention, much to Alistair’s despair.

“Nothing that’s your concern, witch,” Alistair growled at her.

“But, they should know too, Alistair,” Awina replied, still trying to process the information given.

“Now I must certainly know. Come, do not keep us all in suspense.” Leliana mused, mirth in her voice and smile.

“Maker’s blood… fine! I am the bastard son of Maric! Happy now?!” Alistair burst in exasperation, looking crossly at the rest of the group as Awina blushed and looked down at the ground.

“I’m sorry Alistair.” She mumbled.

“Don’t worry about it Awina. It would have come out at some point. Shall we continue to more important matters?” He said, refusing to look in Morrigan’s direction as the witch smirked.

As they were crossing the bridge over the river, a haggard townsmen came to greet them, a bow and quiver on his back. He seemed relieved to see them but when they told them why they were here, his expression became crestfallen. Redcliffe Castle had been silent for a week now, the village assailed by walking corpses each night until dawn. The village was vacant aside from the few that remained, huddled within the safety of the Chantry and tavern. As long as they were being attacked, there was no getting to Redcliffe Castle. The Arl was believed to be dead.

“There is no reason for us to stay. There are no Darkspawn.” Sten commented sternly, arms across his broad chest.

“So, you want to abandon these people?” Leliana asked, shocked.

“He has a point. If the Arl is dead, this has been a waste of time. We have more pressing business to attend to, and it won’t be long before the Darkspawn flow from the Kocari Wilds like a raging sea storm.” Morrigan added.

“We can’t just abandon these people to their plight. They need help.” Leliana protested further.

“Perhaps we should consult our esteemed leader… where is Awina?” Morrigan sighed, finally noticing that the young woman was gone.

During the conversation, Awina had felt something watching her since they arrived. The Veil felt weaker here though she could not tell where the source of the gaze was from. The survivors had been burning the corpses from last night’s attack behind the Chantry. Something had reanimated them, but only Nevarrians knew how to bring corpses back to life. There was a voice at her ear, a faint whisper from across the lake. She wandered down to the water’s edge, the castle looming in the distance, partially shrouded in mist. The lake was quiet, water gently lapping at the sand. A gentle breezed licked her cheek, silver eyes focused on the castle. It had to be from there but why? The whisper grew, words almost intelligible and her eyes started to drift closed as if lulled by a lullaby as she listened.

_She knew these walls, the solid stone that made the Circle Tower. She was home, safe and protected. Here, there were no Darkspawn or traitorous war heroes. There were the enchanters and the watchful Templars. Here, she was safe._

_‘I can make it all better. Give you your life back, make this all seem like a dream.’_

_The voice was sultry, full of dark, tempting promise. Awina felt a chill race_ own _her spine. There was a soft peal of laughter, mocking her. Fingers danced up her back, and she spun, only catching a glimpse of the voice’s face…_

“Awina!” Leliana exclaimed, shaking her shoulder.

“W-what? Leliana? Maker, you startled me.” Awina gasped, her heart beating against her chest.

“Are you alright? You seemed a bit glassy eyed there.” The Orlesian questioned curiously.

“I… something’s wrong here Lelianna. I need to speak with Morrigan.”

* * *

 

 “You are sure that is what you encountered in the Fade, Awina?” Morrigan questioned yet again.

“I know what a Desire Demon looks like, Morrigan. Every Circle Mage does, their appearance is pretty obvious anyway.” Awina sighed with annoyance.

“What’s a Desire Demon look like?” Both Leliana and Alistair asked.

“They can appear male or female, depending on the desires of their victim… usually provocatively dressed.” The young mage explained.

“Was it male or female for you?” Leliana asked slyly.

Awina flushed and refused to answer, steering the conversation back to the problem of the castle. She was certain a demon had taken residence in the castle. Probably killed the inhabitants, including the Arl, and was using the corpses to prey upon the town until they either fled or were killed.

“A demon is not a Grey Warden matter.” Sten huffed in disapproval.

“It might as well be. If we were to leave the demon here, it would continue to grow in strength. The devastation of the Blight will add to its army.” Morrigan sighed, realizing the danger was greater than they could ignore.

They discussed the matter until dusk, helping the villagers prepare for the night’s attack. During their search of the village, they found oil in an abandoned shop as well as a mercenary who had been hiding out, waiting out the attacks each night. Once they got a plan laid out with Bann Teagan, Awina, and her group were standing with the Templars on the rise where the undead came from the castle. Awina was nervous, but she felt a bit more confident. Morrigan’s sparring and lessons had been relentless, but she was improving. Her spellcasting wasn’t as slow, and she was becoming capable of thinking under extreme pressure. Still, Maxis and Leliana stayed near her to protect her while Alistair and Sten made up their front lines.

As the last bits of sun disappeared over the horizon, the air surrounding the village become ominous and oppressive. A mist started to roll down from the gates and when she looked behind her, the lake as well. The demon drew strength in the moonless night and soon enough, the corpses came shambling down. A well placed flaming arrow from Leliana’s bow set the oil ablaze though they felt no pain from the fires as they wandered through it, swords and spears in hand. It wasn’t even much of a fight, the Templars more than a match for them but when a messenger from the village came rushing up, shouting about an attack on the village, plans changed.

They ran down to the village to find that the corpses had come in from the lake, threatening to overwhelm the barriers they had erected to protect the Chantry. Sten and Alistair rushed forward to help push the corpses behind the obstacles, but there was an overwhelming amount. Even Morrigan was struggling in thinning their numbers with her spells

“They’re through the barrier! Fall back to the Chantry!!” Murdoc shouted, trying to get everyone to retreat quickly.

The battle was lost unless they could thin the numbers of the undead crawling over the barriers and towards them. Awina watched in horror as one of the villagers tripped, scrambling to regain his footing but a corpse grabbed him by the ankle and tried to drag him back.

“NO!” She shouted, bolting forward without even thinking about it.

“Awina!” Alistair called, trying to catch her.

Awina swung her staff, knocking the corpse back. Its grasps loosened, freeing the man’s leg. She helped yank him to his feet and pushed him towards the Chantry, intending to follow, but the corpses grabbed her instead, bony fingers tearing into her robe and skin underneath. She was dragged into the crowd, clawing and biting at her. She could feel blood staining her clothes, and she was going to be killed if she didn’t do something fast. Suddenly, a spell came to mind, an extremely volatile one. Despite the pain she was in, Awina focused all of her mana into the spell though the only problem was that it was a touch spell. Wildly, she flung her arm out and prayed she stuck it to one of the corpses.

“Awina!” Alistair cried as he cut through them, using his shield to shove the corpses aside.

Maxis grabbed her by her robe and dragged her out, staff mixed in with the tangle of bodies. Though her clothes were bloody, the injuries she sustained were superficial. With Alistair guarding her, she limped back to the Chantry.

“Leliana, shoot the glowing one!” Awina exclaimed, attempting to point out the creature with the blue glow in its empty sockets.

Leliana notched an arrow to her bow without question, taking a second to aim, slowing her breath to steady her arms, before letting the arrow fly. The projectile found its mark and a second later; the creature exploded, knocking several of them down and sending parts and blood spreading across the ground. The spell bounced between several of the creatures until there was nothing but a mess across the front of the Chantry. There was a stunned silence for a few moments.

“Well… messy but effective. Good job Awina. You’re learning.” Morrigan said, sounding impressed.

“The stars are spinning…” Awina had mumbled before she collapsed onto the ground.

* * *

 

_She was lying in a warm, soft bed, but the room was unfamiliar. A fire flickered in the hearth and the sheets made of silk. She felt someone move next to her and turned to find Cullen sleeping next to her._

_“Cullen?” She called out softly, confused._

_He rolled over and smiled at her, voice honeyed with affectionate words as he drew her to him. She became keenly aware they were both naked. His lips were pressed to her throat, sucking on her pulse tenderly. She squirmed under him, arms slipping around his neck, fingers curling into his short crop of blonde hair._

_“Maker, Awina…” He purred, one hand snaking down her side to firmly grab her thigh, settling his waist between her legs._

_Her eyes are closed as she relished in the attention he was giving her, warm kisses trailing down to her breasts, hands gripping her hips. The corner of her bottom lip was caught under her teeth, inhaling sharply with anticipation._

_‘Surrender to me.’ The dark, sultry voice commanded._

_A cold shiver ran down her spine, eyes snapping open as she realized that gentle grasp was now painfully tight, sharp claws digging into her heated skin. She lifted her head and gasped, the demon hovering over her, lips curled in a grin, tongue snaking out…_

“Awina!” Leliana’s voice broke through the Fade, drawing her away from the room and the demon tempting her. She woke with a start, finding herself lying on a cot, the red-headed Orlesian sitting next to her with a look of worry etched across her face. Awina found her gaze lingering, mesmerized by the crystal blue eyes that stared back at her. She never realized how beautiful Leliana’s eyes were until this moment.

“Leliana? What…” She croaked, her throat feeling parched.

“Here, drink. You exhausted your mana using that spell, and you were scratched and bruised. Morrigan’s already healed your wounds.” She replied, handing her a waterskin.

Awina took it and had a small sip but immediately started to guzzle the contents down. Leliana watched as she drank as if she hadn’t in days, some water escaping and rolling down the column of her pale throat though she couldn’t call it pale any longer. The woman was starting to develop a tan from how much time they spent outside. Once she finished with the waterskin, she passed it back to Leliana before realizing she made a mess.

“Maker, I must have looked like a barbarian.” She mumbled, face flushing pink.

“You look as elegant as ever, Awina. Are you feeling alright? You were tossing and mumbling in your sleep.” Leliana asked, setting the empty skin aside.

“I’m ok just a troubled dream.” She replied evasively, blush growing worse.

“It seemed more than a dream. Does it involve the demon that discussed earlier?” Leliana asked gently, noticing the signs when the girl attempted to lie.

Awina glanced around, realizing she was in the Chantry but her and Leliana alone. It seemed everyone was resting for the remainder of the night since the attacks appeared to have stopped. She swallowed and gave Leliana a sheepish look, like a child who was caught with her arm elbow deep in the sweets jar.

“Please do not tell anyone else. I do not wish to cause more worry where there isn’t need for it.” She said.

“I promise these lips will remain sealed,” Leliana replied.

“Thank you. The demon came to me again. I don’t know if I have been its only target, but it’s been trying to tempt me since we arrived.” Awina sighed.

“Temptation? Might I ask what could tempt such a chaste and pure woman like yourself?” the bard mused.

“Chaste? Whatever gave the impression I was chaste?” Awina snorted, blushing when she realized what she just admitted.

“You behave so innocently. Am I wrong in my first assumption and you are of the more adventurous type of woman?” Leliana teased, leaning forward with a playful smile on her lips.

“I’m no more a virgin than you are, Ley Sister.” Awina taunted back, crossing her arms over her chest.

Leliana couldn’t help the surprised look that crossed her expression before she laughed. Of course, she suspected that Awina was more mature than she behaved, but that was a personal detail. The woman’s cheeks and throat were turning pink again.

“Touche, mon ami. Well then, whatever the demon tempts you with, your heart is above corruption Awina. You are the most pure-hearted woman I’ve ever met.” Leliana told her, placing a gentle hand on her knee.

“I hope you’re right.”

* * *

 

The secret tunnel into the castle was eerie, especially since it led them to the dungeons underneath the castle. Some corpses shambled about, which meant the demon had kept some behind as a guard. Getting into the castle was not going to be as easy as they had hoped. However, after they cleared the corpses, they found someone alive in one of the cells. Leliana picked the lock and yanked the barred door open, the disheveled man stumbling out. Awina’s jaw fell open at the sight of the familiar face. Their eyes met and his expression faltered.

 “Jowan…?” She whispered.

“Awina?” He said in disbelief as he stared at her.

‘Jowan stole everything from you. Maleficar… he should be punished.’ The demon whispered, fingers stroking her spine.

Anger flared in her, rage burning through her blood. Jowan had done all of this to her, had torn her away from her home for his selfish lust. Everything was colored red and all she saw was Jowan, suffering. The spell slammed him into the wall and held him there. He was begging and pleading, but his voice fell on deaf ears.

“Awina! Stop!” Alistair shouted as he attempted to grab her, but Morrigan stopped him.

“Don’t touch her. Something’s wrong.” The witch warned, Alistair giving her a quizzical look.

‘He was going to sacrifice you for his lover. You were a means to an end… a pawn, like the First Enchanter, used you to catch them…’ It purred, breath caressing the shell of her ear.

“You maleficar bastard! This is all your fault!!” Awina snarled at him angrily, clenching her fist.

“P-please! I didn’t… didn’t do this!!” He yelled struggling to take a breath

“Lies!! You would have killed me at the Tower! You abandoned me! Left me to take the blame for your blasphemy!!” the mage growled.

‘Yes… oh, yes my love, kill him. Erase him from this world. Do it… paint the walls with his blood.’ Sharp claws ghosted over the skin of her stomach, through the fabric of her robes. The demon’s voice was all she heard, feeling its body pressed against her back.

“Awina, stop!” Leliana demanded, stepping between her and Jowan.

Silver eyes widened when she saw the woman before her; those blue eyes stared at her in judgment. Her heart raced and the rage coursing through her veins slowed. The demon’s voice faded, its influence weakening her hold on her the spell broke and she lowered her arm, panting for breath. Jowan sank to the ground, breathing raggedly. Awina just stared blankly, trying to comprehend what she had just done.

“T-thank you…” Jowan said weakly as Alistair helped him to his feet.

“Why are you here?” Alistair demanded, holding the man firmly by the arm.

Jowan explained that, after fleeing the Circle, he had been nearly caught by the Templars and was offered a deal by Teryn Loghain in exchange for his freedom; poisoning Arl Eamon. Isolde had hired him, the Arl’s wife to tutor their son Connor. The boy had come to his magic potential nearly two months ago and Isolde wanted to hide that from everyone so he would not be shipped off to the Circle. It seemed her plan backfired.

“So you poisoned the Arl and summoned a demon. How much further are you going to sink?” Awina growled.

“I didn’t summon the demon! I believe Connor did. After Eamon had succumbed to the poison, the boy became distraught. I think he tried to cast a spell after I was locked up and it attracted a demon. I swear this was not my intention Awina… believe me.” Jowan pleaded.

“Why should I believe you? You sold me out for your Chantry harlot! Because of you, I was nearly thrown to Aeonar but instead I got conscripted by the Grey Wardens and nearly killed at Ostagar. You destroyed everything for me!!” Awina shouted back at him heatedly.

“You were the one who went to the First Enchanter after I trusted you!” he snapped.

“I was protecting the Circle! It was a fool’s errand you were attempting.” She argued back.

“At least Lily loved me! She didn’t spread her legs for every blushing Templar.” Jowan spat at her.

His words laced straight through her heart and that rage built, the demon egging her on as the energy flared up inside her again.

‘He’s always been jealous of you, my love… he should suffer for what he did to you.’

Jowan shrank away from her but when she looked upon his face, she found him pathetic and the energy faded, her shoulders slumping. Alistair let out a held breath in relief. At least now, Awina wasn’t flying into a blind rage again.

“What do we do with him?” Alistair asked her.

“If I had the time, I’d personally hand you over to Knight-Commander Gregoir and pray they turn you Tranquil. Death would be a mercy.” Awina spat.

“Awina, please. I know I did wrong but let me help make it right. This…” Jowan replied, shoulders slumping in defeat.

“You will do NOTHING! You are not the friend I trusted at the Circle… I was a fool to trust you. Get out. I never want see you again.” She demanded, turning away from him.

 “You’re going to let this man go?” Alistair asked in astonishment.

“Thank you.” Jowan said in relief.

“Do not thank me, maleficar. I do not do so as a favor to you. You betrayed and abandoned me. I suffer the consequence of your mistake. The Maker will judge you in due time.” Awina snarled.

“What… what happened to Lily?” He asked meekly, hope glinting in his eyes.

“Aeonar.” Was all Awina said.

Jowan didn’t say anything further, just fled the dungeon. Sten as he let go of the hilt of his sword, looking at Awina with vague interest. Leliana noticed the trembling in the woman’s bottom lip and made a suggestive motion at Alistair, the Grey Warden catching on and drawing Awina aside so they could talk. The poor girl broke down in tears a few moments later, Alistair holding her close in comfort. Morrigan snorted at the display and rolled her eyes, mumbling about wasted time. Leliana thought it was sweet, the way the two leaned on each other for strength and comfort. They would make an excellent pairing she thought, though thinking such a thing made her heart feel strange for a few beats. Once Awina had calmed, they continued into the depths of the castle, hoping they weren’t too late to save Bann Teagan.

Luckily, they were not, though a Revenant and undead had been guarding the entrance to the keep. Teagan had been charmed by the possessed child, Isolde watching helplessly as the demon turned the guard on them, Teagan included. Luckily, Awina and Morrigan both used spells to subdue them without causing severe injury. Now there was just Connor to deal with. She could see the black of the demon’s eyes in his gaze, feel the power radiating off him and threatening to drown her.

“Tch… you mortals are always so violent. Surely we can’t come to some agreement?” Connor drawled, a dark, sultry echo to his voice.

“We are here to destroy you, demon.” Awina said, her voice shaky as she tried to put on a brave face.

“Ah… you. So young and beautiful, such power flowing from you, untapped. Surely you’re not afraid of a child?” The demon purred.

Awina gasped as she felt the demon reach for her across the Fade yet again, its power more overwhelming than she had anticipated. However, Morrigan had been ready for the demon to make a move and cast a counter-spell, stepping between them as she threw it at the demon. Connor howled in pain and fled to somewhere in the castle. Isolde thought to chase him, but Morrigan stopped her with a single word.

“I have managed to weaken the demon’s hold on the child temporarily. He is hiding but unless we can enter the Fade and confront it, the boy is lost. Only death will save him then.” Morrigan replied, her lips drawn tight.

“I might have a solution.” Jowan piped up, entering in from a side room.

“You!” Isolde hissed, only to have Teagan grab her to keep her from charging at him.

“What are you doing here, maleficar?” Awina demanded with a scowl on her face.

“I want to fix what I’ve done. Afterwards, I am going to turn myself into the Templars. Lily was all I had left… there’s no point in running anymore.” He replied to her, a steely resolve in his expression.

“And how do you propose you are going to fix this?”

“You know that a great deal of lyrium is required to perform the ritual to send someone into the Fade. We don’t have the luxury, considering only the Circle has the lyrium required. However, I could perform the ceremony with a surrogate.” Jowan explained.

“A surrogate?” Morrigan inquired with curiosity

“I can use blood magic for the ritual, but it would require a sacrifice…” He started.

“I shall do it!” Isolde immediately volunteered. “If it means saving my Connor than…”

“NO! Have you taken complete leave of your senses?! Blood magic brings nothing but chaos with it!” Awina protested vehemently.

“And what do you suggest we do, oh great leader?” Morrigan asked, yellow eyes fixed on Awina in challenge.

“We go to the Circle and get the mages.” Awina retorted stubbornly.

“I don’t like it any more than you do Awina but… Jowan might have a point. It would take us a week to get there on foot and a week back. We don’t have that kind of time.” Alistair said.

“There are still ships intact. We sail across the lake; we would be there by evening.”

“And who would sail the ship? And what if the Templars refuse?” the witch pressed.

“The Knight Commander can be reasoned with. Demons are just as much the responsibility of the Templars as mages. We are not using blood magic.”

They argued, but Awina refused to budge on the issue and Morrigan, eventually, grew tired of trying to convince the young woman to change her mind. Leliana admired Awina’s determination and faith, but she wondered if her decision was truly the right one. Sten and Morrigan would stay behind while she and Alistair joined Awina on a ship to reach the Circle Tower. Leliana hoped the demon did not act before they returned.


	4. Inner Secrets

Leliana watched the two Grey Wardens as the ship quietly sailed across the lake. The villagers were more than happy to assist them with whatever they needed. Sten and Morrigan stayed behind to help Bann Teagan maintain order while the three of them went to the tower to get aid. Leliana noticed Awina seemed much more relieved when they avoided using Jowan’s suggestion. It would have been better to use the ritual. Isolde was a willing volunteer and there’d be no risk of the village being attacked again tonight, but Awina refused to consider it, despite the argument she had with Morrigan.

By late afternoon, the docks to the tower came into sight. Leliana and Alistair had never seen the Ferelden Circle before, but Awina was glad to see it. No matter what, it would always be home. However, as they approached the dock, she felt a despairing amount of dread and vileness in place of the usually calm energies that surrounded the Circle Tower; something had damaged the Veil here.

“Halt! You cannot dock here!” A Templar on watch called as the boat’s crew was throwing out the mooring lines.

“We’re Grey Wardens, on important business. We need to see the Knight Commander and First Enchanter.” Alistair called as they stepped off the vessel.

“Grey Wardens? Ha and I’m the Empress of Orlais. Those buggers all died at Ostagar. Wait… Amell? Andraste’s tits, is that you?” The Templar replied, his tone changing when he spotted the mage with them.

“Ser Karrich! Yes, it’s me. What Alistair says is true and we don’t have a lot of time to delay. Please, take us to the First Enchanter.”

However, good news did not greet them when they entered the Circle Tower. Few Templars remained, most exhausted or suffering from various degrees of wounds. Knight-Commander Gregoir looked as if he had not slept in weeks and he wasn’t all that pleased to see Awina return. The Tower had been sealed off; When Uldred had returned with the few surviving mages from Ostagar two days ago, driven mad by the horrors they witnessed. He attacked with his followers and butchered Circle mages and Templars with equal cruelty. Gregoir had sealed the doors to prevent the abominations and demons running rampant from escaping while waiting for the Right of Annulment from Denerim. The thought of the tower being purged upset Awina significantly.

“You can’t do this!” She cried out desperately.

“I can and I will! You have no authority here, apostate.” The Knight-Commander growled.

“But Irving and the other Enchanters could still be alive! Maker’s blood, there are children in there!” She argued.

“You did not see what I did! Enchanter Irving sacrificed himself so I could evacuate those I could! I do not make this decision lightly, apostate. The Circle is lost.” He growled at her fiercely, face starting to tint red.

Alistair intervened to calm them down, drawing Awina aside so the three of them could discuss options. No one would have expected the Tower to be in such dire straits itself. It was painful to see the distress in Awina’s face, nearly on the verge of tears but trying her hardest to keep a stiff upper lip. However, they were presented with little options.

“As loathe as I am to say it, it looks like we have no choice but to head back and use Jowan’s method for the ritual.” Alistair mumbled, rubbing at the stubble on his chin.

“We can’t! That kind of magic brings nothing but ruin. For all we know, performing it in the vicinity of a demon will make it stronger.” Awina argued.

“What other choice do we have, Awina? The Tower is lost; we will not find what we seek here. The alternative is killing the boy.” Leliana said as gently as she could.

“NO! The Tower is not lost! Some of them are alive!” The silver-eyed mage protested, stomping her foot.

“How can you be so sure?” Alistair asked with curiosity.

“I… I just do. It’s hard to explain but for as long as I can remember, I can ‘feel’ where people are. I learned I have some ability to trace the lyrium in people’s blood. It’s an aura of a sort, you two give off one, but I can only feel it when you’re close. Mages have a stronger aura and I can feel some alive… ones that aren’t blood mages!” Awina explained as best she could.

“I think I get it…” Alistair mumbled, still quite confused.

“It is an interesting and useful trait for a mage. If others still fight, then what she says is true; the Circle is not lost.”

“But we’re only three people. Gregoir’s Templars weren’t able to fight the demons, what could we possibly do?” Alistair questioned worriedly.

“If we get to the others, we’d have a fighting chance. Uldred had the luxury of surprise but no longer.” Leliana pointed out.

“Ya, he’s got demons, abominations, and blood mages just sitting around now.” Alistair grumbled.

They discussed it some more, but Awina would not budge, even going as far as declaring she would stay here until the issue with the Tower was resolved and they couldn’t leave their leader behind. Leliana and Alistair discussed their options, but they had no real choice. Awina was determined to save her home and they would have to help if they wanted her to come back to Redcliffe. Each minute they delayed, the more time the demon in Connor had to recover its strength. Awina was relieved when they agreed to help her but, like at Redcliffe, she doubted her decision. It felt like the right thing to do but what if she was wrong?

* * *

 

“No… how could he…” Awina mumbled numbly, eyes locked on the grisly scene before her.

They had entered the tower but with a catch; Gregoir would not reopen the doors unless they brought back the First Enchanter or proof of Uldred’s demise. She stuck close to Alistair as he led the way. The hallways shrouded in sinister shadow; blood smeared all over the stone. They had entered the apprentice dormitories where Awina had spent most of her life, only to find it decimated. There were corpses strewn about, some looking as if they had been preyed upon. The stench of death and decaying flesh hung heavily in the air.

“I’m so sorry Awina.” Alistair said sympathetically.

The gravity of it all, seeing those who she had grown up with, studied with, dead was too much for her to take in all once. Her legs lost their strength and she collapsed, catching herself on her hands though she didn’t faint. Both Leliana and Alistair went to comfort her. Her cries were full of agony and sorrow as she mourned the loss of what had been her family. Alistair was trying to help her calm down since they needed to get moving, but her grief consumed her.

“Awina. Awina you have to get it together. You said there are others who can still be saved, but we have to get to them before it is too late.” Alistair urged with a hand on her back.

“Oh Maker, hear my cry. Guide me through the blackest nights, steel my heart against the temptations of the wicked, make me rest in the warmest places.” Leliana recited in a soft voice, the verse quieting the young woman’s sobs.

“O-Oh Creator, see m-me kneel, for… for I walk only where you would bid me.” Awina replied in a shaky voice, sniffling as she wiped at the shed tears streaked on her face.

“You must have strength Awina. We will be here with you, but UIdred has to be stopped, or he’ll kill those still trapped in here and, eventually, he’ll be free of the tower.” The orlesian continued.

“R-right. You’re right, both of you.” She mumbled, sniffling as she picked herself up, leaning on Alistair for help.

Leliana could see the woman’s heart was wounded, but she was putting on a brave face. Faced with this much tragedy, it reminded her of what happened with Marjolaine years ago. The thought brought a bitter taste to the back of her throat and she pushed it aside, focusing on the task at hand. They still needed to get through the tower. With Awina calmer, she was able to guide them properly, not that the tower was difficult to navigate. The hallways spiraled into the staircases but eventually, they found their way blocked. Not by demons, however, but by some of the surviving mages Awina had sensed earlier, mostly young children and a couple of apprentices. The eldest, fending off a Rage demon that had slipped through the barrier over the passageway.

“Wynne! Oh, thank the Maker.” Awina called, tears of relief welling in her eyes as she ran to the woman and hugged her.

“Awina? Maker, I did not think you made it from Ostagar. What are you doing here?”

“I needed the Circle’s help but...” Awina explained, but Leliana jumped in to shorten the tale since time was of the essence.

Wynne was able to give them more insight as to what had happened. She had also narrowly escaped the carnage at Ostagar and returned with what few mages were left, but the experience broke Uldred and he turned on them days later. What mages and Templars he did not kill or escaped, they captured for some nefarious purpose. Wynne had protected the few children and apprentices that had survived since the attack started. If they cleared the demons on their way to the top of the tower, the rest should be safe. However, the task was more monumental than they could have expected.

* * *

 

Awina woke in a massive four-poster bed, covered in plush, silk sheets. Sunlight filtered through the thin white curtains over the window. She didn’t recognize this place, but something about it felt unsettlingly familiar to her. She climbed out of bed, finding clothes neatly folded on the armoire. They weren’t her robes, but a light silk tunic colored a dark red and black velvet trousers. Awina pulled them on and left the bedroom, finding her inside what she could only assume was a manor, similar to Redcliffe Keep, but with far less stone.

“Hello?” She called, her voice echoing faintly as she descended the stairs.

There didn’t seem to be anyone else here as she wandered around the main hall. Awina was confused, like something was missing. She saw a massive portrait on the wall, but the faces were eerily blank. She approached a door but found it had no handle.

“Odd… What is this place? I feel like I should know it.” Awina mumbled to herself, turning away from it.

“Awina? Oh, where has that girl run off to now?” A feminine voice echoed from upstairs.

“Who… hello?” she called, hurrying to the stairs.

She went back up the stairs, but there was no one there. Like the previous door, all the other doors were closed with no door handles, save for one. Cautiously, she approached it and opened the door. She was in a study, a fire in the hearth. Above the mantle sat at a shield held up by two birds of prey, a crest emblazed in red on a shield. Staring at it made her head hurt as if a weight was being pressed upon her skull.

 “Awina?” A second voice called, a hand touching her shoulder.

Awina jumped and turned, finding herself in a library similar to the one in the Ferelden Circle. This was different, though. None of the clothing looked right; richer fabrics, vibrant color,  even the Templar armor was different here. This wasn’t the Circle Tower she knew, but it was a Circle regardless. Her silver eyes fell upon the person who had touched her and for a moment, her heart jumped in elation.

“Leliana?” She asked.

“Leliana? Maker, did you hit your head or something, Awina? Come on, I wanted to show you a new spell.” The girl replied.

The longer she stared at her, the more differences Awina noticed. Her hair was darker and longer than Leliana’s, eyes a blue-tinted green and faint freckles along the bridge of her nose. Her face was familiar, but there was no name. She had never met her before, but she felt like she should know her.

“I… I’m sorry, but I don’t understand what’s going on.” She tried to explain, wincing as the pressure to the back of her skull returned.

“Are you feeling well?”

“No… I don’t know you. I feel like I should, but I don’t know what any of this is. I… I remember coming to the Circle Tower for help.”

“Circle Tower? Awina, you’re talking nonsense. Are you running a fever?” The girl retorted, reaching up to touch her.

“Don’t touch me!” She exclaimed, batting her hand away as she stepped back.

Everyone in the room was staring at her now; faces blank, but she could feel the weight of their gaze on her. The girl standing there seemed shocked at being struck.

“Awina, this isn’t funny. You know me, I’m…” the girl replied, her voice faltering when she tried to say her name.

The fog in her mind suddenly lifted and Awina remembered the Abomination that ambushed them when they were looking for Niall. Everything came back and the illusion wavered and weakened. Awina stared at the girl in disbelief, trying to piece together the feelings her face invoked in her. Familiarity but she had no idea where she had seen her before.

“Your illusion failed, demon! You will not trick me!!” She snapped back in defiance.

_‘Broken and forgotten, abandoned and lost… I still have you right where I want you, mage!’_ The girl hissed.

Her jaw fell open as the visage of the strange girl changed, skin darkening and robes falling to tatters. Spider-like appendages grew from its back as it loomed over her, bared teeth gnashing in delight as the demon revealed its true form to her, a monster she had only read of in books; Fear.

_‘You are nothing! You have always been nothing!!’_ It hissed at her, screeching for its spider-like Fearlings to attack her as they burst from the faceless beings around the room.

“You will never take me!” Awina shouted back, conjuring a flame spell.

Several of the spiders shrieked as they were consumed by flames, disappearing back into the Fade. Fear laughed, its voice echoing around her as the last of the illusion fell away, revealing the true nature of the Fade. Awina was trying to think of how to fight this thing when something grabbed her from behind, iron-grip holding her arms painfully hard. She managed a glance over her shoulder and found herself face-to-face with the multi-eyed visage of a Terror demon.

 “Your fear is delicious. So much uncertainty, buried in fragments; forgotten yet producing the most delicious morsels. I will consume you slowly and delight in your pitiful screams.” Fear hissed, sharp fingers trailing under her chin as it leaned in, rotten breath washing over her.

“I am not afraid of you!” Awina hissed defiantly, straining against the Terror demon’s grasp.

_She will ruin us. We must get rid of her._

_Too powerful… she’ll be an Abomination within a fortnight. Nobody will know she’s gone._

_Whore… Teacher’s pet…_

_I can’t do it… what if I lose control? Kill someone? Turn into an Abomination?!_

Awina realized the demon was using her memories; whispered conversations she had heard around the Circle, private thoughts she thought locked away and buried. Fear was drawing them all out and gorging itself on the terror it made her feel. She felt tears stinging her eyes, quaking as she quarreled with her weakness. The demon cackled, bony fingers sliding through her hair before firmly grabbing her chin.

_‘Such old blood, old power wasted in your pathetic hands! I shall take your body as my own and drown the mortal world in fear!!! First, I’ll start with the other Grey Warden. Just as much fear as yourself, just as delicious.’_ It purred, black tongue running over its bared teeth.

“No, I…”

_‘Won’t let me? And what are you going to do? I have always been with you, your only companion. No one cares about you; no one loves you, but I have been here. You know this as the truth. You were always meant to be mine and mine alone. You betrayed Jowan because you were afraid of being left alone again… of being abandoned.’_ It cooed, tongue licking her cheek.

Awina cringed, a sob escaping her as ever word Fear spoke struck right to her very core. She was frightened and had been for as long as she could remember. The demon was right, she was scared of being abandoned and left alone again. She hated that feeling, so dark and cold; it felt like it was all she would ever know. The demon laughed, invading her personal space.

_‘Give yourself to me… I will make it all better.”_

“No… never!” Awina snarled.

Though this was the Fade, she had as much power here as Fear did. She remembered what the Spirit of Valor had taught her and though the demon was intensifying her feelings of despair and terror, she envisioned what she wanted. Terror shrieked and let her go, Fear retreating a small distance as a bright light surrounded her before calming. Ethereal armor surrounded her, a matching sword in hand. Fear hissed, ordering the Terror demon to restrain her again. Knowledge flowed through her and though she had never held a blade before in her life, she knew what to do.

The demon’s claws swiped through the air, grotesque eyes blinking as it snarled at her and gave chase. Awina yelled in defiance as she swung at it, the blade slicing one arm clean off. The demon staggered, leaving itself open for a few seconds, blade piercing square through its chest. Terror’s scream faded as it disappeared into the Fade once more, leaving her alone with Fear.

_‘Insolent girl! Your death will be suffering!’_ It snarled, forming flickering out of view.

Awina yelped as Fearlings surrounded her, chittering and hissing at her as she swung wildly to fend them off. A blow to her back sent her crashing to the ground, the ethereal armor protecting her from Fear’s claws. Fear hissed as it loomed towards her, a suppressing aura bearing down upon her. Awina gritted her teeth as she forced herself up to her feet, sword grasped tightly in her hand. Silver eyes flashed with defiance as she fought back, the demon howling angrily at her.

“You will never feed again!” Awina yelled, charging at it.

Fear screeched as it swung at her, claws biting deep through the ethereal armor and cutting her shoulder. She ignored the pain and thrust her armor forward, sword piercing clean through Fear. It howled in agony, its strength faltering as she twisted the blade in it until it was gone. The Fade was silent and after a moment, exhaustion caught up with her and she fell to her knees, staring at her hands as the armor and sword faded.

“Maker’s blood. That was incredible.” She muttered in astonishment.

With Fear dead, Awina remembered how she had gotten here. The Abomination had ambushed them when they were checking a room while looking for Niall and the Litany. It must have trapped her here, leaving her and her companions for its demonic brethren. If she had been trapped, albeit by a sloppily made illusion, then the others must be in the Fade as well. She had to find them but the Fade was a large place and she had no way of actually tracking them. She could only hope the Maker would guide her to them before it was too late.

* * *

 

“Alistair! Come help me with the kids!”

“Sure Goldanna.” Alistair called in reply, turning away from the sword and shield sitting on the mantle.

He entered the room where his half-sister and her five children were gathered, his sister struggling to get them to settle down and help her set the table for dinner. He smiled gently and lectured the boys on helping before moving to the counter to pick up the dishes. Goldanna gave him a warm smile in reply, thankful for his help.

“I’m glad you’re here Alistair.” She said.

“This is where I belong, with my family.”

There was a knock on the door that distracted him, but no one else seemed to hear. There was a second and third knock but for some reason, no one else but him seemed to hear it. He glanced at Goldanna, but she was busy with the pot on the stove and the children had gone back to playing tag around the table.

“I’ll get the door.” Alistair mumbled, setting the plates on the table and going to answer the door.

When he opened it Arl Eamon was standing there, a stern expression on his face.

“Eamon?” He muttered in surprise.

“Alistair. You need to come with me.” Eamon replied without much of a greeting.

“Uh, why? I don’t want to join the Templars. I’m happy here and Goldanna needs me.” Alistair retorted, frowning a little.

“King Cailin is dead. He died at Ostagar. Ferelden needs a new king.”

“What? No… no, no, no! I am not king material Eamon. I barely remember to put my pants on correctly in the morning.” He protested.

“Ferelden needs you Alistair.” Eamon insisted.

“Alistair? Who’s at the door?” Goldanna called, realizing her brother was no longer in the dining room.

“Just a friend. They were leaving.” Alistair replied, giving Eamon a hostile glare as he stepped back and started to close the door.

“Dammit Alistair, it’s me!” Eamon said, shoving the door back open, voice wavering to a more feminine tone for a moment.

He shook his head, feeling a pressure on the back of his neck. He blinked, staring hard at Eamon and realized he wasn’t looking at Eamon at all. He shook his head and tried to close the door again. Eamon protested, a strange echo to his voice as he slammed his shoulder into the door knocking him to the floor. Alistair hit the ground and blacked out for a moment. When he woke, the air was warm and filled with thick smoke. He could hear the cracking of timbers as flames raged around them. He immediately scrambled to his feet and covered his mouth with his tunic.

“Goldana?!” He shouted in panic.

 “Alistair!!” his sister screamed in terror, drawing him into the dining room.

Goldana was cowering beneath a woman in shimmering, ethereal armor, sword raised above her head. Silver eyes fierce as she shouted something. He recognized her, the pressure at the base of his skull intensifying as he recalled her name and who she was.

“Awina stop! That’s my sister!” He yelled.

“Let him go, demon!” Awina snarled at Goldanna, bringing her sword down.

Alistair lunged forward to try and stop her but just before the sword hit Goldana, Awina and Alistair were thrown back, the illusion of the burning house vanishing. The children turned into the twisted forms of Shades while Goldana took the form of a Desire Demon, hissing angrily.

_‘He was mine! I shall destroy you both!’_

The Shades were easy enough to deal with and once they were destroyed, the Desire Demon fled back into the Fade. Like before, once the threat was gone, the ethereal armor and sword vanished, leaving Awina back in her robes. Alistair had just stood there, watching in stunned silence as he was trying to make sense of what just happened.

“Maker, Alistair. Are you alright?” She asked, gently touching his shoulder.

“I think so but what, what happened? I felt like I was there, with my sister.” He replied, still confused about what was going on.

“We’ve been trapped in the Fade by that Abomination we ran into in the Circle Tower. Goldanna was a demon, feeding off your inner desires. A Fear demon had targeted me. I think Wynne and Leliana are also trapped.” She replied, giving him a weak smile.

Alistair was about to answer when he noticed himself start to fade, or rather, Awina saw him fading away. From Alistair’s perspective, Awina and the rest of the twisted world around him were disappearing into white.

“Awina!” He called, reaching for her.

“It’s ok. You’re just waking up. I’ll see you soon!”

* * *

 

Wynne’s trap was that of the Circle Tower, likely days after Uldred’s attack. The floor was smeared with blood and corpses of apprentices, young and old, surrounded her. She seemed to be crying and lost in grief. Awina tried calling out to her, but Wynne could not hear or even see her. The demon here was hiding her from Wynne, preying on her sorrow and doubt.

“Wynne! Wynne, this isn’t real!” She shouted desperately, trying to get her voice to reach the old mage’s ears.

Awina started when she felt a presence suddenly beside her and turned to find a spirit standing with her; a manifestation of Faith. She stares at it in confusion, wondering where it could have come from but it rests a hand on her shoulder and she was suddenly filled with strength. Wynne suddenly hears her calling and looks, able to see her.

“Amell? Thank the Maker you’re alive! It’s all my fault, Uldred…” She whimpered; the flicker of hope quickly extinguished by the grisly scene surrounding her.

“Wynne, this isn’t real. You saved several of the apprentices. An Abomination trapped you here and a demon is feeding off of you.” Awina explained to her.

“This is the Fade? But…”

“Try to remember. We found you in the Tower, fighting off a demon. You had apprentices and children with you. You saved some of them Wynne and more could be saved.”

_You failed us!_

_Don’t leave Wynne. We don’t want to be alone._

Suddenly, the room was filled with the echo of voices of the departed but it was just a trick. Strengthened by the spirit, Awina drew the Fade around her and dispelled it, revealing the Despair demon hiding as one of the corpses, along with a few Shades. As expected, the demon fought back but Awina was prepared this time. The fight was not nearly as harrowing as the one with the Desire demon that had ensnared Alistair. Wynne’s mind was now clear and she thanked Awina for her help before she disappeared.

Now, she just needed to find Leliana.

* * *

 

It was a bright, peaceful day in Lothering. Leliana was sitting outside in the garden though all the rose bushes had died during last year’s winter. She hummed a quiet tune to herself, watching the villagers go about their daily business. She saw the Hawkes, eldest sister and brother, running errands. Children were chasing butterflies, their laughter musical.

“Enjoying the day, Sister Leliana?” one of the other Ley Sisters asked when she approached.

“Very much so. The Maker has blessed us with a gorgeous day.” She replied with a warm smile.

“That he has.” The woman answered before moving on.

Leliana went back to humming and idling studying the rose dead rose bushes. Rumors of war in the south had been on the lips of travelers for days now, but no one was sure who Ferelden was fighting. Likely the Avvar getting restless again or something. Leliana did not concern herself with it too much. Today was a good day that should be rejoiced and enjoyed. At least, that had been her intentions.

“My little songbird. This life does not suit you at all.” A familiar voice spoke to her, sending a chill racing down her spine.

The redhead stood and turned to face the one person she thought she was rid of forever; Marjolaine. Last time she saw her, it had been off some unnamed coast in northern Ferelden. The hatred and fear the thought of the woman brought was agonizing and distressing.

“How did you find me?” Leliana demanded, trying to keep her composure.

“Oh, you poor little thing. You thought I wouldn’t keep an eye on you? I am always watching. Always.” Marjolaine purred, stepping closer

“Is everything alright Sister Leliana?” Mother Dorothea called.

“Yes. She was just leaving.” Leliana replied vehemently.

“I’m not leaving without Leliana.” Her old bard master retorted.

Awina was confused as to why Leliana didn’t recognize her at first but given the vision she found herself in, the demon was likely disguising her as someone Leliana didn’t trust. She would have to get creative with this since Leliana was in deep. The demon had to be feeding off old regrets and fears in Leliana. She wondered what had wounded the  bard so much that she used the Chantry as a shield against it.

“Leliana, this is not you. You do not belong here.” Marjolaine protested, a strange lit to her voice for a moment.

Leliana blinked, thrown off by Marjolaine’s shift in voice but she glared at her angrily. Mother Dorothea’s presence was reassuring. She held to her faith, telling herself she didn’t need the life of a bard anymore. It was a dark path that lead to nothing but heartbreak and betrayal. Marjolaine had abandoned her, left her to die in a rotten cell in Orlais, abused for endless nights until Dorothea dropped her a key and a knife. Her hand went to it, concealed in the belt around her waist.

“I must ask you to leave. You are distressing Leliana.” Dorothea insisted.

“I am not leaving without her. Please, Leliana.” Marjolaine begged, her voice younger, more Ferelden than Orlesian now.

“Leliana is safe and protected here as the Maker’s chosen. You are no longer needed.”

Awina wanted to scream in frustration. Part of her just wanted to grab Leliana, make her see that she was trapped in an illusion. Those crystal blue eyes turned away from her and they both were returning to the Chantry. There had to be some way to get through to her. Awina’s eyes fell upon the shriveled rose bushes and she remembered when they first met, that night when Leliana told her about the vision of Lothering. She walked over and carefully plucked one of the dead buds from the bush.

“You remember what you told me in the tavern? The Maker had plans for you beyond the Chantry Leliana.” Marjolaine spoke, her voice no longer her own.

“You are not worth remembering. Begone.” Leliana said, pausing mid-stride but refusing to turn and look at her.

“Lothering was burning, darkness was descending but the roses; you saw a rose blooming in the chaos. You knew there was still a chance to save people, to make a difference.“ Awina explained, noticing the confused look crossing the Orlesians face.

Blue eyes watched the dead flower slowly stir to life, shriveled and brown turning a healthy green and the bud slowly opened into a bright red blossom. The pressure on her neck lifted and her gaze raised to find not Marjolaine standing there but Awina, soft lips curled into a small smile, silver eyes staring back at her.

“Awina…” She whispered, heart suddenly racing with elation.

_“No… NO! You cannot have her! She is mine!”_ The demon raged, dropping its, revealing itself as an Envy demon.

Leliana was suddenly thrown to the ground, the demon holding her down as its eyeless, stitched face screeched at her. Her heart raced with terror as she stared it, the demon’s mouth gaping wide open as if to swallow her.

“Get away from her!” Awina shouted, charging at the demon with the ethereal blade in hand.

The demon snarled as she swung at it, missing as Envy lurched away, releasing Leliana. She pulled the woman to her feet and got between her and the demon. Envy screamed in anger, trying to size up Awina, encased in that spirit-like armor, its prey far from its reach. Awina threw an ice spell at it, but Envy threw up a powerful barrier and fled, its illusion falling apart to reveal the Fade. Leliana felt like she was waking up from a horrible nightmare, but it was real… this was real.

 “Awina. Maker, I don’t understand what has happened…” she mumbled, looking at the twisted landscape around her

“This is the Fade. An Abomination ambushed us and left us for demons to prey upon. They tried to trap our minds in our fears and desires, but everyone’s free now. You should be waking up soon.” Awina explained; the armor and sword gone.

“I… I should have realized it. You saved me Awina. You looked like a valiant knight for a few moments.” Leliana said, taking it all in.

“I would have been surprised if you did. Even I had trouble at first. Demons are nefariously smart.” The mage chuckled, hand on Leliana’s shoulder.

Leliana looked at her, her heart racing. Perhaps it was how Awina had rushed into battle to save her that was igniting these amorous thoughts in her… or maybe she had always been falling for this woman and this was her wake-up call. Regardless, she couldn’t help the surge of emotions that quickly replaced the feelings of uncertainty and pain. She swallowed the surprised gasp the woman made as she closed the space between them, hand cupping her face and pressing her lips to Awina’s. If this was a dream, then it was going to end as a good one.

* * *

 

“AH!” Leliana yelped when she woke.

The last thing she remembered was all of them gathered in a twisted arena, fighting the demon that had trapped them here. The abomination lay dead as did Niall, but they had been too late for him. Wynne and Alistair were also waking, but she only had one individual on her mind.

“Awina?!” She called, hastily getting to her feet as she tried to spot the mage in the dim lighting.

She hunted around the pile of corpses, panic gripping her when she spotted those familiar blue robes, collapsed closest to the Abomination. It looked like the demon had dragged her over, intent on devouring her first like it had snacked on Niall. Luckily, it looked like she was unharmed but the problem was she had not awakened.

“Wynne! Alistair! Awina is not waking up!” She called, kneeling down to pick her up, gently shaking her.

“But we killed the demon! Wynne, what’s going on?” Alistair asked, just as concerned.

“I’m not sure. We killed the demon, she should be waking up now.” Wynne replied, confused by the turn of events.

“Maker, she’s not breathing, but her heart is beating!” Leliana noted, having pressed her ear to the woman’s chest to check for signs of life.

The bard laid her down, gently tilting her head back and parting her lips. She had done this kind of thing before, but she wasn’t sure if it would help. Leliana pressed her mouth to her and breathed air into her lungs before compressing her chest, whispering pleas to the Maker that Awina would wake. Each time she breathed into Awina, she thought of the kiss in the Fade she had given her and wondered if the woman would remember it. After the third compression, Awina took in a ragged breath, coughing as she woke. Leliana sighed in relief, Alistair and Wynne doing the same as the young mage sat up, coughing.

“Gave us a good scare there Amell.” Alistair joked, grinning in relief.

“Maker, I don’t know what happened… thank you Leliana.” Awina mumbled, eyes lingering on Leliana’s face.

Those silver eyes fell upon the bard’s face and a faint blush followed. Awina remembered the feel of the Orlesian’s lips on her own, how intimate that moment had felt. That brief moment was shattered when Wynne had retrieved the Litany; they needed to press on. They were close to the top of the Tower and even Leliana and Alistair could feel the evil energies radiating from the room. Whatever Uldred was doing, they now had to stop him.


	5. Broken

“Cullen!” Awina exclaimed when they entered the hall leading to the Harrowing Chamber.

There was a man trapped in a prison, on his knees and fervently praying. He wore the armor of the Templars, covered in filth, eyes bloodshot, and lips cracked from lack of water. Awina pressed her hands against the barrier, but she realized it was too powerful. He lifted his head after hearing her call his name a few more times, banging her hand against the prison. His eyes widened in surprise, but his expression became fearful as his gaze settled on Awina.

“No… no, not again! Get your fingers out of my mind! Stop trying to use her against me, you monsters! I will not yield to you!” Cullen shouted in protest, turning away from her with his hands pressed over his ears.

“Maker, he looks like he’s been in there since the start of this all, the poor man. Is there no way we can free him?” Leliana asked.

“The barrier is quite strong and I don’t have the strength to dispel it. I would suspect Uldred himself uses this to keep his prisoners in check.” Wynne replied after studying it for a few moments.

“Cullen, it’s ok. It’s me. I came back.” Awina told him, noticing the man had gone back to praying.

“She left. The Grey Wardens took her. She died at Ostagar. Get out of my head!!” He yelled, praying more fervently…

“They’ve probably been torturing him for days now. He’s not going to believe it’s you, Awina. I’m sorry.” Alistair said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

The look of longing in her eyes did not go unnoticed and Alistair and Leliana shared a look. The orlesian had figured out Awina must have had a lover here at the Circle; this was him. Seeing him like this was hurting the young woman deeply. She watched as Awina tried to get through to him but as far as Cullen was concerned, they were all demons. Whatever had he suffered through, his feelings for Awina had been used to try and break him. His sanity was on its last threads, likely enduring days of unending torture at the hands of Uldred and his Abominations. Everyone has their breaking point, she should know.

“Cullen. What’s happening in the Harrowing Chamber?” Wynne asked, taking control of the interaction with the haggard Templar.

“Awful screams come from there. Their bloodied fingers dig into your mind, pulling out your secrets and corrupting them. Uldred took some of the mages there. The screaming… Maker, the screaming is the worst. They’ll come for me soon.” He replied before slipping back into his fervent prayers.

 “What is the Harrowing Chamber for?” Leliana asked worriedly.

“It’s used for the ritual apprentices have to go through to become mages… or where they die if they fail.” Awina replied with a hint of spite in her voice.

“Yes. The Veil is weak here, so I am not surprised Uldred chose the room for whatever depraved rituals he is performing in there, but we must stop him. Awina, how many do you feel in there?” Wynne replied, eyes resting on the young mage as she nodded quietly and closed her eyes to concentrate.

“At least four corrupt energies, Abominations. There are about a dozen weakened mages in there, and I think I can feel Irving. He’s alive!” She replied, silver eyes widening in surprise.

“Then we don’t have much time. Uldred may try to turn the mages in there with him into Abominations when we confront him. The Litany will help me protect them, but it will also leave me vulnerable to attack while reading it." Wynne concluded, pulling the parchment from where it was tucked under her belt.

“We’ll protect you.” Alistair said confidently.

“I would appreciate that, but we must not lose focus on why we’re here; if Irving perishes than this endeavor will be for naught.” The elder mage reminded them, Awina shifting her gaze in nervousness.

They entered the room to a gruesome scene. A mage was on his hands and knees, Uldred standing over him and chanting something. He screamed, clutching and clawing at his head until he finally slumped over and lay still on the floor. A few seconds later, his body spasmed, flesh twisting into the shape of an Abomination. Two others stood there, their attention turning to their group as they crossed the threshold. Uldred also turned, lips curling into a cruel sneer. Irving tried to croak out a warning but the Abomination standing behind him kicked him down, foot pressed on his back to keep him pinned.

“Ah, the prodigal Amell returns home. I believed you had died at Ostagar. How fortunate for me.” He drawled in a sinister tone.

“This is over Uldred! We’ve killed the demons and Abominations in the tower. Your army is done.” Wynne said defiantly.

“The Templars have reinforcements. You’ll never escape alive.” Alistair added, shield and sword at the ready.

“The Templars are weak and the Chantry senile. I am simply doing what we should have done ages ago; freeing us. They lock us away and expect us to be lapdogs but no more! The power they are so afraid of is our freedom.”

“How… how could you do this? You murdered them all!” Awina suddenly spoke up, visibly shaking and eyes watery as she fought to keep the anger she was feeling in check.

“Only the strong deserve freedom. The weak have no place in our ranks. Power is freedom. They sought to shackle us with fear and doubt but no more! It is they who shall fear us. I shall open your eyes as I have done the others.” Uldred laughed, his form changing.

Awina froze in place as the beast that towered before them became a Pride Demon given flesh. Its seven black eyes stared, unblinking, at her, lips curling in a cruel smile that showed off its sharp teeth. Bellowing, the demon ordered the Abominations to attack as it focused on completing its dark ritual. Alistair rushed to meet the Abominations head on as Wynne stepped back from the battlefield and started reciting the Litany aloud. Awina found her spells being shrugged off by Uldred as she tried to counter him, the demon’s power overwhelming. Its beady black eyes turned on her, laughing as sparks of lightning raced up its thick arms. Hastily, Awina tried to erect a barrier to block the charge of electricity in the air but the arc of lightning Pride threw at her was more powerful than anything Morrigan had used against her. Awina screamed as pain raced up her right arm, the bolt striking her staff. Blood dripped from her palm when her staff exploded, flesh cut by the smoking shards that now lay scattered around her. She fell to her knees, right arm clutched to her, sleeve of her robe burned off to reveal the smoking red mark running along her flesh from wrist to shoulder.

_‘Such potential… wasted. I should have taken you when I had the chance.’_ The demon snarled as it approached her, Leliana’s arrows bouncing off its tough hide and Alistair shouting as he tried to cleave his way quickly through the last few Abominations.

_‘Broken and weak... why do you protect Irving? He used you, just like your friend did. Duncan used you… even your so called friends are using you because you’re too STUPID to know better.’_ Pride snarled in triumph as it loomed over her.

“Maker, though the darkness comes upon me, I shall embrace the light.” Awina mumbled, looking up at the demon.

_‘The Maker has forsaken this world. You pray to emptiness for your salvation.’_ The demon sneered, looming over her before it began to chant in dark, guttural language.

“I shall weather the storm...” She responded, forcing herself to her feet, tears spilling from her eyes and teeth clenched against the agony racing through her body.

Wynne was shaking as she kept trying to recite the Litany to protect Irving and the remaining mages, skin pale with her efforts. Leliana was fighting the last of the Abominations with Alistair, quiver devoid of arrows and blades red with blood. She couldn’t tell if they were hurt or not, but it was clear the battle was exhausting. The pain in her body felt strangely absent as she stood against Uldred, the demon sneering down at her.

“I shall endure.”

The Pride Demon faltered, black eyes flaring wide as her aura suddenly became overwhelming. Wynne,  collapsed in exhaustion, dropping the Litany from her hands. Pride snarled and began reciting its spell again as sparks of electricity danced over its arms, the mages crying out in pain. A sudden flare of mana emitted from the mark on her arm, shimmering like faint flames over her skin, chanting the Litany in counter to his spell. Alistair ran over to Wynne to protect her. Leliana stood there, watching the events unfold before her with disbelief.

 ‘ _NO!! I will destroy you!’_ Pride roared as he charged at her, abandoning its spell as energy crackled around it, a whip formed of pure energy.

The whip cracked over her, locked by a powerful barrier as Awina stared it down. She was not in control of her body, not completely. It was like she was possessed, raw power flowing through her uncontrolled. Pride howled in frustration, trying to break through, attacks becoming erratic in its panic to stop her. She caught sight of a sword only a foot away and dove for it, the demon’s fist slamming into the stone floor and cracking it. The flow of mana suddenly shifted into the blade glowing as if pulled from a forge. Awina charged at Pride, avoiding the crackling lightning whip it threw at her. The sword went straight through its chest, the demon howling as it burned from the inside out until there was nothing but ash and the melted slag of the sword. The sinister air that been hanging over them stopped, the Abominations collapsing and silence filling the room.

The sudden burst of energy faded and pain sharply laced up Awina’s arm, making her whimper and fall to her knees, cradling her arm against her chest. Leliana immediately ran to her side, Alistair helping Wynne over to tend to the young woman’s injuries.

“Is… is everyone ok?” Awina asked as Leliana used one of her daggers to cut away the remains of her tattered sleeve.

“Everyone is alright. Irving and the mages are alive thanks to you. Maker, what you did was something you only hear of in song or story.” Leliana replied, gingerly inspecting the glaring red mark on her arm.

“That mark looks pretty bad. Is her arm going to be ok Wynne?” Alistair asked worriedly as the weary mage gave it a look.

“I’m afraid I can’t do much in my current state. The fight considerably weakened me.” Wynne replied, voice full of exhaustion.

“T-tend to the others. I’ll… I’ll be ok I think. Irving and the others need more help.” Awina replied bravely, pulling her arm back to her chest.

While the three went to check on Irving and the mages, Awina had a few moments to contemplate what had happened. It felt like a dream, but everything she had witnessed had happened. Whatever that… _that_ was, it saved her and the Circle. She knew it was that source of strength that Morrigan was trying to get her to use ut it was so powerful… Maker, how could she possibly control it? Now, it was behind that line again, out of reach. Though the pain was bad, there was one thing on her mind now that Uldred was dead; Cullen.

* * *

 

The Templar was still on his knees, fervently praying, with no idea that barrier that had held him there was gone. Awina took a deep breath, injured arm still close to her chest, and cautiously approached him.

“C-Cullen?” She called out nervously, keeping a small distance between them.

His head snapped up, shaking and blood-shot like before. He started to protest again when he noticed the barrier was no longer there. Cautiously, he stood to his full height; armor stained with grime and Maker knows what else.

“Cullen, it’s ok. Uldred’s dead. The Circle is safe. The maleficar and the demons can’t hurt you anymore. They’re all dead.”

She reached out to him with her good hand, fingertips brushing against the dull sheen of his breastplate. He glanced down at her hand then, back up at her face. He seemed so lost and confused. Awina gave him a weak smile, lifting her hand to touch his cheek. His eyes are closed for a moment, as if relishing in her touch but when they opened, they were not the same. She screamed in surprise when Cullen grabbed her by the throat, grip strong as he squeezed, nothing but malice and hatred in his expression.

“Foul demon! You will torment me no longer!! I shall rid you of the Circle! All of you!!” He snarled, spittle forming at his mouth as he added his second hand.

Awina could only helplessly struggle as her mouth floundered to take in a breath. She kicked and squirmed, but she started to see spots in her vision and the edges started to blur into black. She heard the door open, someone or several someone’s shouting and then she was dropped on the ground, trying to inhale, but her throat didn’t want to work. Like a fish out of the water, she lay there, gasping helplessly as she slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

 

When Awina woke, she was back at the main entrance where Gregoir had set up camp for the remaining Templars. She tried to move, but her neck and arm ached in protest, so she just laid there, staring up at the ceiling. She could make out Gregoir, Irving, and Alistair’s voices but not what they were discussing. Hopefully, it was about the aid promised for the situation at Redcliffe.

“You’re awake, good. I feared that Templar had throttled you.” A familiar Orlesian voice replied, having noticed her stirring.

“L-Leli? Maker…” She tried to croak out, but her throat and mouth felt dry and swollen.

“Shhh, don’t try to talk. Wynne has been doing her best to tend your injuries, but she is exhausted. I bandaged your arm as best I could, but I fear there will no helping the scar.” Leliana replied, gently brushing the young woman’s black locks back behind one ear.

Leliana watched the woman close her eyes and take in a slow breath, wincing at the pain it caused just to breathe. She reached for the vial of the red potion the Templars had given them to help treat Awina’s injuries. The rest of them had come out of the ordeals of the Circle relatively unscathed but exhausted. Alistair had some bumps and bruises, but his armor had taken several severe hits and would need repair or replacing soon. She had run out of usable arrows, but that could be easily rectified when convenient. For now, the bard was merely concerned with helping the young mage next to her recover.

“Here, drink this. It will help reduce the swelling in your throat.” She told Awina as she moved to, gently, assisting the woman so she could lift her head.

The potion tasted bitter but as the small trickle of liquid slid down her throat, there was a pleasant numbing sensation that reduced the pain she was feeling. Leliana kept her hand steady so she wouldn’t give the woman more than she could handle, stopping when the vial was half empty. She set it aside and let Awina rest back on her lap, gently stroking her fingers through Awina’s raven hair and humming lightly.

“T-thank you. That, cough, feels a little b-better.” Awina managed to croak, finding it easier to breathe.

“Good. Rest now, you’ve earned it.” Leliana encouraged soothingly.

She continued her song until the young woman drifted off, head resting on her lap. Leliana looked up when she heard the clink of armor approaching and saw Alistair coming to join them. He knelt down and gave Awina a concerned look.

“How is she?” He asked, grimacing as he saw the bright bruising on her throat.

“She just went back to sleep. I had her take some of the potion to help heal her throat. Her arm is another matter, however. We will likely have to get her back to Morrigan as soon as possible to see if the witch can do anything.” The redhead sighed.

“Ya, Wynne looked like she was about to collapse. I can’t believe that man attacked her!” Alistair growled heatedly.

“Cullen was driven mad by his torturers, but he is no longer a threat to her or anyone in the Circle now. What did Gregoir and Irving decide to do? They do plan on upholding what was promised in exchange for our assistance, yes?”

“Yes. Irving and what mages have strength will be joining us on the ship back come morning. Gregoir insisted a few Templars go as well, as a precaution as well as to protect the lyirum being brought along.” Alistair replied.

“Good. You should get some rest Alistair, especially if we are leaving in the morning.” Leliana replied, reaching out and patting his knee.

“You’re just as tired as I am, Leliana so don’t you forget to get some rest yourself. I’ll see you in the morning.” The man replied with a weak smile before getting up and walking off to find a spot to rest.

For now, they had a reprieve but Leliana’s brow furrowed with worry. If fighting a demon in the mortal world was as taxing as it had been fighting Uldred, she couldn’t imagine what strength Awina had to exhibit to fight off the demons in the Fade. A cold chill ran down her back as she remembered how the demon that had ensnared her had used Marjolaine in an attempt to trick her away from her new-found companions. Even after all this time, that woman still had a hold on her. It disgusted Leliana and she knew if Awina remembered any of it, the young woman would have questions for her. It was only a matter of time before her past would catch up with her and ensnare her companions.


	6. Spark of Desire

“So, instead of conceding futility and coming back to Redcliffe, you decided to put your life and that of Leliana and Alistair’s at risk to slay numerous demons to stop a madman and save your home? I’m beginning to think my mother should have left you in that tower full of arrows.” Morrigan sniffed as she inspected the red burn mark on Awina’s arm.

“It was the right thing to do, Morrigan.” Awina protested.

“It was foolish. It was pure chance the demon’s spell didn’t kill you. Seems that pestering old hen did what she could to repair the damage but the scar is beyond healing.” The witch sighed, pulling her hands back and packing up the herbs she had been using.

“I suppose it could be worse. Nothing will work on it?” Awina asked, looking at the mark for herself.

“Healing spells or herbs do not seem to affect it. I would like to discuss what happened, but it appears that will have to wait. Here come your new friends. Excuse me.” Morrigan huffed, seeing Irving coming in their direction.

Awina got to her feet, bowing her head as Irving greeted her with a warm smile. Together, they joined the rest of their companions and the Bann to discuss what was going to happen with the ritual and freeing Connor from the demon’s grasp, if it wasn’t already too late.

“The ritual is ready. We just need to decide who will go in the Fade to fight the demon.” Irving said.

“We could make Morrigan do it.” Alistair suggested.

“You think the demon would best me? You are sorely mistaken, but I will not. I shall be assisting with the ritual, as loathe as I am too.” Morrigan huffed.

“Alistair, please don’t. I’ll be going.” Awina said, rolling her eyes.

“What? Awina, you still haven’t fully recovered from the fight with Uldred.” Leliana and Alistair both protested.

“Wynne and the other mages are too weak and this was my idea in the first place. I should be the one to see it through.” The young mage replied.

“Seems our leader has found her spine finally.” Sten commented with what sounded like approval.

Though Leliana protested a bit more, Awina was adamant in her decision. She worried what another encounter with a demon would do to her. Though her energy had picked up after resting more on the boat, the girl seemed to be behaving a bit recklessly. Did it have something to do with that silver fire? She had overheard her and Morrigan on occasion discussing it, but the nature of such power eluded her understanding. As the final preparations were made for the ritual, Leliana drew the mage aside after she had a quiet word with Sten.

“Are you sure you should be doing this? Your injuries…” Leliana reminded her again, crystalline eyes full of concern.

“I’ll be ok. I can shape the Fade to help protect me and there will be precautions in place, just in case.” Awina replied.

“Is that what you were speaking with Sten about?” the orlesian pressed.

“How…”

“I can read lips. There are things I have kept from you and the others, but there will be time to discuss that later. What did you ask of Sten?” Leliana continued, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Should I fail, the demon will likely view me as a more suitable host. I do not wish to suffer becoming an Abomination nor do I need to endanger everyone here so... this duty is usually assigned to a Templar. Cullen was the one to execute me if I failed my Harrowing. Sten will carry out this task if Irving tells him to do so.” She explained

“You will beat this demon Awina.” Leliana said, carefully controlling her expression as she felt her heart drop at the possibility of watching her friend die.

“Let us hope you are right. It looks like they’re ready. I must go.” Awina said, ending the conversation as she headed off to the ritual circle.

The set up was similar to the Harrowing practice, with a basin filled with Lyrium fixed in the center. Irving and the mages stood in a circle, Morrigan and Wynne standing among them. Alistair, Sten, and Leliana stood with the Bann and Isolde. Awina swallowed nervously as she looked at the basin, remembering how she felt during her Harrowing as the mages began to recite the spell. She reached out towards the lyrium, the scar starting to shimmer in response as she felt the Fade reach out and grab her, pulling her beyond the Veil.

* * *

 

_‘So, they send you to deal with me? An unusual choice but then, you are the strongest of them all. However, I do not wish to fight. Perhaps we can reach a compromise?’_ The demon mocked.

Awina had found the demon, after running through the twists of the Fade. It seemed Desire had used Connor’s confusion and imagination to shape the Fade. Though she met no other resistance, Awina had remained wary of traps. However, it seemed this demon was taking a more passive approach to their encounter. They had something it wanted and the demon naturally wanted something from her. The demon had chosen the form of a male, wearing nothing but a thin veil around its waist. Awina kept her eyes firmly above the line of its collarbone, the demon smirking.

“Let the boy go.” Awina demanded.

_‘Now, why would I do that? He called me here, to help save his sick father. All I did was give the boy what he wanted. His dad is alive and I am to have what I was promised. Tis a mere exchange of services, even you must understand that.’_

“He is but a child, untrained. He didn’t understand what he was doing and you do not belong to our realm.” She protested.

_‘I will get what I was promised, but perhaps we can reach a deal? Surely there is something you desire? Oh yes, so much desire in your heart I can just taste your need…’_ the demon cooed, stepping towards her.

Awina panicked when the demon suddenly vanished, and then she was being pushed backward, landing on a bed. It only took a second for her to recognize her room from the Circle Tower. A shiver ran along her skin as the demon’s nails raked down her stomach through the fabric of her robes. The demon leered down at her, straddling her waist.

_‘Such empty loneliness, begging to be filled. Abandoned, used, and betrayed… left lusting for things you’ve never had. I can give it all to you; I would never abandon you.’_

“I am above your temptations, demon.” Awina snarled, shoving the demon off of her.

It laughed as the illusion vanished, Awina swallowing as she fought the blush trying to creep up her throat to her face. Those black eyes viewed her with a predatory glint, distance between them as the demon stood there.

_‘Are you? I know what you want, what your companions want and oh there is so much promise waiting out there for you.’_ The demon taunted

“Lies!” the young mage hissed.

_‘Why would I lie to you? I am merely trying to help you, just as I helped Connor. Aren’t you tired of no one appreciating your beauty and intelligence? Mocked for enjoying your youthful lustings?’_

“I… no, that’s not true! Cullen… he…” Awina stammered, flustered.

_‘Loved you? No… you saw what love was when you caught Jowan and Lily. Oh, the jealousy you carried for him, the man you called brother. That’s really why you went to Irving; you knew he was going to abandon you. You and Cullen were just using each other for fun.’_

Awina felt bitter tears stinging her eyes. The demon’s hands were on her shoulder, shuddering as she felt its breath against her neck. Maker, she couldn’t do this; her resolve was too weak.

_‘Yes, give in to me, my love. I’ll give you everything you want.’_

* * *

 

“How’s she doing?” Alistair asked as Wynne came over to the rest of the group.

“It’s impossible to tell right now. Hopefully, she finds the demon soon. The longer she is in the Fade, the more dangerous the venture becomes for her.” Wynne sighed.

“And you put the apprentices through this process just to test their strength? Maker, that’s awful.” Leliana pointed out, a slight scowl of disapproval.

Leliana bit her lower lip as she glanced over to where Awina lay on the floor, First Enchanter Irving and Morrigan watching over her. To anyone else, she looked like she was quietly asleep but that woman was in the dangerous realm of the Fade. The bard could still recollect her brief time in that place. She couldn’t imagine how mages could function in such a confusing, dismal landscape, but she was glad that she wasn’t aware of it when she dreamed.

“Something’s happened! I believe she’s engaging the demon!” Irving announced when Awina’s body suddenly spasmed.

‘Oh Maker, please protect her in this trial… and bring her back to me.’ Leliana silently prayed.

* * *

 

_‘Alistair… the other Grey Warden. Handsome, strong, and loyal. You two are growing close and it could be so much more than comrade in arms. You want that… someone who makes you feel desired and protected. The potential is there and I can give it the spark it needs.’_ The demon purred in her ear.

The creature had assumed Alistair’s form in an attempt to entice her, but her feelings for her fellow Grey Warden did not lean in that direction. She cared for Alistair and had grown to trust him. They got along well and he was a good, loyal friend, but she did not love him, not in any intimate manner.

“You are stalling, demon. You will not deter me from my purpose here and Connor will be free of your vile influence.” Awina hissed, short of breath from the effort it was taking.

_‘Tch, you just enjoy being a tease, don’t you? Then, perhaps the Orlesian girl, hmm? Oh, does she desire you so. Raw, delicious lust… all for you.’_ The demon cooed, from changing into that of Leliana’s.

Awina balked as she stared at those blue eyes, flush darkening as Desire approached her. The mage made the mistake of letting her gaze wander, looking over the woman’s nude body.

_‘Got you!’_ Desire muttered in triumph.

Lips were on her, hands holding her hips in a firm grip. Awina tried to resist but Maker, her lips felt just as they did when Leliana had kissed her in the Fade. So warm and sweet… the temptation was nearly overwhelming. She felt herself being pinned against something, the Fade having shifted again. Skin against skin, her robes gone. Desire had control of the entire situation, dragging her down further and further. Sharp fingers pressed between her legs, finding her wet and needy. Desire laughed in that mocking tone, teeth at her ear, whispering its dark promises as it molested her, trying to break the last threads of her resolve.

_‘You are mine now! Oh, the things I will do in that pretty body of yours. I’ll make your friends my slaves first…’_

“No!!” Awina cried out desperately, squeezing her eyes shut as she envisioned her defenses.

The armor surrounded her, blade in hand, but it was weaker than before. The demon laughed hysterically, mocking sound echoing around her as if there were a thousand voices. Taunting her vulnerability, her weakness. It laughed at her pathetic needs, needled how easy she was to seduce. Every word spoken rung true as the demon dragged all her inner thoughts to the surface and rubbed her face in them.

_‘Oh, if only they could see you now! See how weak you are, how shamefully easy you spread your legs for another. Your parents discarded you for the cursed blood in your body! Because you’re a mage, you are nothing but a monster. The Templars waited for the day you lost control and when that day come… oh, but you buried that memory, didn’t you? Would you like to see it? The moment you broke your own heart?’_ Desire taunted.

Awina screamed at her, galvanized by rage and anger. She just wanted it to stop, all of it stop. Shut the demon up, stop the truths flowing out of her like a river and rebury everything. Tears stung her eyes as she swung the sword blindly, the demon taken completely by surprise. The first blow cut through it, wounding it. The Desire demon realized its taunting had the wrong effect on her and tried to defend itself, but Awina did not give it that chance, Desire screeching as fire consumed it…

“Ahh!!” Awina shouted as she woke up with a sudden start, startling everyone in the room.

“Awina!” Leliana exclaimed, hurrying over as the mage was helped to her feet.

Once Irving assured them that she was herself, Isolde and Teagan went to check on Connor. Awina had destroyed the demon, freeing the boy and Redcliffe from its dark power. The air was calmer with peace restored. While Wynne was tending to her, Irving was talking with the group while the Templars were preparing to leave. Jowan had gone with them quietly to be taken back to the Circle to await his punishment.

“First Enchanter, I want you to confirm something for me. Awina is not Ferelden-born, is she?” Morrigan asked.

“Yes, you would be right. Awina is from the Free Marches, though I do not know if she originated from the Gallows in Kirkwall or is the daughter of a family who didn’t want her. Templars brought her to us when she was eleven.” He responded without any protest, earning a sharp look from Wynne.

“Free Marcher? Well, would explain why she doesn’t sound, well, Ferelden enough.” Alistair noted.

“Shut up, you buffoon. Why was she not kept at the Circle there?” the witch questioned, glaring at Alistair.

“I do not know. Circles across Thedas often have diverse cultures. Children are often sent to Circles far from their homes.” Irving replied with a shrug.

Morrigan did not press the matter any further, just wandered off in pensive thought. Leliana was curious as to the nature of the witch’s question but getting information from that woman was unpleasant and, often, unfruitful. Perhaps she would explain herself later but thoughts were interrupted by Bann Teagan returning, assuring them that Connor was well. However, Arl Eamon had no awakened. It seemed like the demon had healed the poison that had afflicted him, but he had been trapped in the Fade for so long, his spirit had not made it back.

There was only one thing left that could help him.

* * *

 

 “Do you think we’ll be able to find the ashes?” Alistair asked, mulling over his tankard.

Though they had helped restore some order to Redcliffe, Isolde kicked everyone but Baan Teagan and the remaining guard from the keep. Irving and the mages returned to the Circle Tower, Jowan in tow. Awina thought she’d be pleased with how events turned out but she could not share in this victory with everyone. She wouldn’t even touch her drink.

“They’re just a fairy tale, but Teagan seems to believe it. Going to Denerim will be dangerous, though. We’re wanted criminals.” Awina sighed, sniffing at the contents of her mug and cringing.

“That we are but for today, we’re heroes! Come on, you haven’t even touched your drink yet Awina.” Alistair replied encouragingly.

Leliana and Wynne joined them, Sten and Morrigan staying in their rooms since they didn’t believe in socializing. Bella came over to take their drop off a bottle of Orlesian red and a couple of glasses for the two women. She noticed Awina’s soured look and the fact she hadn’t taken a sip of her ale.

“Not to your liking? Come, I’ll find you something else to drink.” Bella retorted, picking up the tankard.

“Oh, you don’t have to…” Awina started to protest.

“It’s no problem, sweetheart. Come, join me at the bar and we’ll find something more to your liking.” Bella insisted.

Taken off-guard and encouraged by an amused and slightly drunk Alistair, she got up and followed the woman to the bar. Alistair stared at her backside before turning and meeting Wynne’s arched brow and a bemused smile. Leliana snickered before directing her attention back towards the bar. Awina seemed to be sampling a couple bottles of wine and a few ales from a series of small cups, expression either approving or disgusted depending on the flavor. Bella seemed to be amused as they were talking, though she couldn’t make out what Awina’s were responses were. The woman was clearly flirting with the mage, having been as bold as to kiss her when they arrived.

After about fifteen minutes or so, it seemed Awina finally decided on a drink; some type of mead, judging by Bella’s words. A twang of jealousy ran through the bard when she saw Bella leaning a bit too close over the bar, saying something to Awina that made the girl blush. A few minutes later and the mage came back to the table with her tankard in hand.

“Bella seems to like you.” Leliana commented as Wynne poured the wine into the glasses.

“She seems quite thankful that we saved the village.” Awina replied, oblivious to the suggestion.

“Young and naïve as always. Well, we achieved a good victory today and are on the path to assembling this army.” Wynne said, raising her glass in a toast before taking a sip.

“What did she get you there?” Alistair asked, noticing the amber liquid in Awina’s mug.

“Bella said it was a sweet honey mead she made herself. It tasted pretty good and it smells like vanilla.” Awina replied, taking a cautionary sip to see if she still liked the taste.

Oh, that barmaid was hitting on her but Leliana kept her cool. Awina belonged to no one and the mage needed this night to relax. They drank in relative silence, though there were questions burning on her tongue that she wanted to ask Awina; they would have to wait for more privacy. The tavern was boisterous and it reminded her of times where she would play the lute for the amusement of the crowd and to earn a few coins when it amused her. Those were rare moments from her past she reflected on with joy. Awina steadily drank through her first mug of mead and immediately called for a second. Wynne warned her to pace herself, but Alistair encouraged her, seeing who could drink their next drink the fastest.

“It is nice to see Awina has found good companions to call friends, though I am wary of the apostate and the large swordsman. I saw her at Ostagar when she arrived. She has grown since in such a short amount of time.” Wynne said, a faint smile on her lips as she watched Awina and Alistair laugh.

“Were you one of her mentors Wynne?” Leliana asked with curiosity.

“For a time. She was very attentive to her studies. Curiosity young woman, got herself in trouble many times with experiments. Most of the senior enchanters adored her.” The old mage replied, refilling her glass.

Awina refused a third pint of the mead, feeling a bit light-headed. Alistair was determined to drink himself silly and she could only chuckle and shake her head at him. The mage switched to drinking water at Wynne’s request, using an ice spell to chill it before drinking. However, Awina found herself not in a very talkative mood and excused herself to walk outside, Maxis following suit. The night air was cold and she felt a bit more relieved as she wandered down the winding path to the quiet village below. She contemplated going to the Chantry, but she didn’t feel like praying. She felt tainted after what happened with the demon and wandered towards the lake. The surface of the lake was smooth and perfect reflection of the star-riddled sky above. She stood in the sand, just staring up at the constellations as if looking for an answer before looking down at the lake.

“You disgust me!” She snarled at her reflection in the moonlit water.

Anger boiled through her blood… anger and shame. She had been so close to letting that Desire demon have her... Andraste would be ashamed of her, everyone would be. She couldn’t stop thinking about the mocking laughter, how it made her feel so alone and empty. Hot tears stung her eyes and she couldn’t help the frustrated scream that ripped from her throat, uttering whatever swears and curses she could think of. Maxis whined worriedly, pressing himself against her leg and looking up at her.

 “Awina! Maker, are you ok?” A familiar orlesian voice called out to her.

Leliana, noticing the young woman’s diminished behavior before she left, had decided to follow her to see if Awina was ok. When she had heard her scream upon reaching the village, she expected the worst and rushed to find the mage in the sand, shaking and Maxis whimpering with worry.

“I am fine. I just needed some air.” Awina replied evasively, standing up.

“You are not a very good liar Awina. You’ve looked so sad since we returned from the keep. What happened when you fought that demon?” Leliana pressed, drawing close to her.

“I almost fell to it, Leliana. If it hadn’t hit the wrong nerve, I’d be possessed right now instead of Connor, likely with my head taken off or all of you dead. I’m tainted.”

“But you resisted and destroyed it. You did not fall and you are certainly not tainted.” Leliana

“Resisted? Ha… I let the damn thing have its way with me long enough to enjoy it. Maker, it dug up everything I thought buried in my heart. I thought I could hide it or fight against it but I… I was powerless.” Awina sighed, wrapping her arms around herself.

 “What did the demon tempt you with that was so enticing?” Leliana asked, recognizing she was quite distressed.

“It was right; Cullen and I were never in love… not like Jowan and Lilly. I knew about their relationship well before he told me. I was jealous because I knew that meant I’d get left behind. Abandoned. I liked Cullen well enough, but it was just a fling. He wasn’t the only Templar I had been with.” The woman responded bitterly, Maxis nudging his head gently against her hip.

“We all have our weak moments, but we come back stronger. The Maker will…” Leliana started to say, but that seemed to upset her further.

“What Maker?! We pray and call to him and he does nothing! He lets demon and darkspawn run rampant and for what? He curses me so my parents throw me away and everyone treats me like a monster!!” She responded testily, only to let out another loud sigh and cross her arms over her chest. “I am sorry, Leliana. I do not mean to be short with you. I am upset.”

“I am not angry with you Awina. You’ve stood against many trials as of late. The demon tried to bait you with things you wanted. You should feel no shame because all that matters is that you resisted and fought back. You did not fall.” Leliana replied, placing a hand on her shoulder.

A smile flickered across Awina’s face as she looked up at the bard. The demon had said Leliana desired her and, if she had to be honest, she was starting to want this woman. She was beautiful, kind, caring, and much stronger than herself. She could lose herself in those blue eyes forever. Awina feared, however, that this emotion was merely lust. How could she love someone when she didn’t know how? What if Leliana didn’t love her either? The void in her heart felt larger or maybe now she was just more aware of it, Awina wasn’t sure. Still… the Orlesian woman cared enough to come find her and have this conversation with her.

“Thank you Leliana. I am sorry for yelling at you.” The mage apologized, sheepishly smiling.

“It’s ok. If I were in your position, I would probably feel the same. Did the demon tempt you with someone in particular?” Leliana asked, thirsty for more information.

“Uh… no, no one specific. It hinted at something from my past, but I don’t remember anything past arriving at the Circle Tower. The demon kept promising me things I always hoped to have someday.” She replied evasively, cheeks burning.

“I see. I understand mages remember everything that happens in the Fade. Do… you remember if anything significant happened when that demon ambushed us at the Circle?” Leliana asked slyly.

“Um, no. Nothing significant happened. I… saw the dream the Envy demon trapped you in. It had disguised me as someone you hated. Who… who were they?” Awina asked, looking away and tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“Ah, I was wondering when that question would come up. The demon made you look like the woman I loved and trusted a long time ago. She betrayed me for reasons I never fully understood.” Leliana told her, careful to mask names and precise details.

“Oh. Sorry for bringing it up. I suppose you and I have a couple of similarities.”

“It seems we do. I am here for you, Awina. A shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, a voice to sing you a lullaby when you need it.” Leliana said softly, her thumb grazing against the woman’s throat, feeling her pulse fluttering against the touch.

“And arrows to protect when out of reach.” Awina chuckled, gaze lingering on the Orlesian’s face. “Leli… thank you. You’ve done more for me than the others.”

“You give me far too much credit, Awina, but I thank you for the compliment. Come, we should return to the tavern. It is late and you need rest… we all need it.”

Awina nodded, but neither of them moved, just stared at each other. She remembered that kiss; not the one the demon forced upon her but before, when she had rescued Leliana. The warmth of her lips seemed so inviting... Maxis watched them; head cocked to the side before he moved behind his mistress and shouldered her, forcing the mage to stumble right into Leliana. The bard wrapped an arm around her to steady her, shifting her weight so they both didn’t go tumbling into the sand… not that tumbling with the silver-eyed mage hadn’t crossed her mind before. Maxis barked happily, giving them a pleased look.

“Maxis, what the hell? You nearly knocked us over.” Awina chided, hastily pushing herself away and rounding on the dog.

Leliana smirked, winking at Maxis, who quietly chuffed at her before following Awina. She rested a hand over her heart, the tempo racing against her chest. Maker, she was certain the girl had stolen her heart.


	7. Gilded Tongues

You still hold yourself back. Use it!” Morrigan ordered in exasperation, leaning on her staff a little.

“I’m trying but I can’t! It’s like attempting to force myself through the Veil without the right amount of lyrium.” Awina protested in frustration, tossing her staff on to the grass.

“You used it against Uldred.” The witch pointed out.

“Not by choice! It just happened because we were all in danger.” Awina grumbled, picking up her staff and leaving Morrigan’s small encampment.

The witch pursed her lips as she watched the young mage leave. They had been trying for the past hour to get her to tap into that fount of power she described, but nothing was working. She had discussed it some more with Wynne, as loathe as she was to talk with that old bat, but it seemed that she knew no more than Awina did. Morrigan suspected magic ran deep in the Amell bloodline but, for whatever reason, Awina’s access to that power was blocked off, either by choice or an external source.

“Having problems with your spells?” the elven assassin called as Awina was heading back to her tent.

The man was their prisoner, having attempted to kill them earlier in the day. Sten would have executed him if she hadn’t stayed his hand but keeping the man alive had proved fruitless. Though he was more than willing to give up what he knew, it wasn’t much. All they learned was that his name was Zevran and he worked for the Crows, a guild of assassins from Antiva that Teyrn Loghain hired to track them down and kill them. Since he failed, the Crows would attempt again but also kill him in the process. Awina wasn’t sure what to do with him, but she wandered over to see why he was talking to her.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” Awina retorted.

“No, of course not. I just couldn’t help but observe what you two were doing. You seem quite frustrated. Perhaps I could be of advisement?” He responded with a smile.

“What do you possibly know about magic?”

“Nothing but your issue is commonplace, mostly amongst those who find their virility suddenly losing its vigor. One can learn much just from observing, like how I know you’ve had a few Templar lovers.” Zevran told her smugly.

“W-what?! How did you figure that out?” Awina demanded in a flustered tone, face turning red.

“How you help your fellow warden, Alistair was it? Only one who has such intimate knowledge of removing plate mail either wears it themselves or in your case, had a lover who wore it often. Since you are a Circle mage, it’s safe to assume your partners were Templars.” The elven man explained, still smug.

“Maker… fine. I’ll humor you.” She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“From what little I understand, the witch is trying to get you to access some latent ability of yours and yet you can’t reach it. No matter how hard you try, it sits out of reach. I understand mages come into their powers quite young. Do you remember what happened when you came into yours?”  Zevran asked.

“I, don’t remember. It must have happened before I was sent to the Circle here.” She replied thoughtfully.

“Likely a traumatic event from when you were young. I would imagine you came into your power in a very violent manner, hence why you cannot remember it and why you may be having trouble with performing at your peak. Your mind, to protect young you, blocked the event out and everything associated with it.” The antivan concluded.

“That… I’m not sure what to make of that, to be honest. I can use this, power, when in dire need but it comes to me. I cannot call upon it at will. I do not understand it.” Awina replied, stretching out her arm and rolling up her sleeve to observe the burn mark in the fading sunlight.

“We are capable of a great deal when faced with death.”

Awina pursed her lips and scowled, thinking over Zevran’s words. It would explain why she couldn’t get to it. Morrigan and Wynne had both suggested something might be blocking her access. Now, Zevran had given her an idea of what the cause could be but she had no connections to her past. All she remembered was that twin-hawk crest and the girl with green eyes. That had to be important but thinking about it made her head ache. She looked down at Zevran, wondering what his motivations could be.

“Why help us?” She asked.

“I bear no loyalty to The Crows or their employer and I rather enjoy living. Besides…” Zevran replied, maneuvering himself to stand on his feet.

A shocked gasp escaped her as Zevran pulled his hands out from behind him, holding up the rope. She thought to yell for help, but the elven man just took her hand and knelt before her, smirking.

“I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to go adventuring with such a rare beauty at the helm.” He said, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

“You could have slipped your bonds at any time?!” Awina exclaimed, snatching her hand back.

“Tis not the first time I’ve been tied up my dear. I will pledge myself to you; my daggers are yours to wield as you see fit. I’ll wash your clothes, hunt for your meals… even keep your tent warm if you’d like.” The man replied with a suggestive tone.

Zevran laughed when Awina ran off, too embarrassed to come up with a response and just fled to her tent. Leliana, Alistair, and Wynne all gave her quizzical looks when she passed, only Maxis following her inside. After a moment, she came back out of her tent, face red and shouted at Zevran.

“And you stay away from my tent!”

* * *

 

They passed through Lothering on the third day of travel. It seemed some of the townsfolk and merchants had left, but many remained still, unable or unwilling to abandon their homes. The Templars remained on watch, but it seemed even the highwaymen had forgone trying to set up shop nearby. It was only a matter of time before the Darkspawn came through this area and razed the town. They picked up what supplies they could scavenge, but Lothering was lost.

Five days after they left Redcliffe, they finally saw the trees of the Bercillian Forest. By evening, they camped at the edge of the woods, far from the highway. Zevran had become an ally of their group though most didn’t quite trust him. His flirtations were received with mix reception from the women and Alistair, since it seemed the antivan had no shame with whom he chose to attempt getting into a bedroll with. However, camping near the edge of the forest seemed to put Awina and Alistair on edge. Maxis seemed unsettled as well.

“Always hear stories about this place. Creepy stories.” Alistair said nervously.

“I feel like we’re being watched.” Awina replied.

“We are. There're at least two Dalish scouts watching us since we set up camp. I imagine there is a clan deeper in the forest.” Zevran said, finishing his bowl.

“How do you know that?” Alistair asked, doubtful.

“They’re good at hiding, but I’m just as good as finding them. I caught a glimpse of one of them on the edge of the firelight. I’m sure our lovely bard was carefully watched while she was out hunting to ensure our intentions were not malicious.” The elven made replied, spooning himself another helping from the pot by the fire.

Leliana’s head snapped up at the word ‘bard’ and Awina caught the venomous glare she shot at the Antivan. However, it seemed like Zevran was more surprised by her reaction and the confusion of the party more than anything.

“Oh? I did not realize that was supposed to be a secret, Leliana. My apologies.” He said, not sounding apologetic in the slightest.

“What’s a secret?” Wynne asked, turning her attention to Leliana.

With all eyes on her, Leliana knew that cat was out of the bag. She sighed and set aside her bowl, hands folded neatly in her lap. She shot Zevran one more icy glare before gathering herself. Leliana figured she’d be found out eventually. Awina was always so full of questions and Wynne always gave her that suspicious look.

“Before I joined the Lothering Chantry, I spent much of my time as a bard in Orlais. That is where I picked my skills with bow and blade. A traveling musician must protect herself.” Leliana explained.

“Well, that explains it. I figured you didn’t just pick those up from the Revered Mother. I don’t recall them teaching archery unless something’s changed since last time.” Alistair chuckled.

Everyone seemed to take Leliana at her word. The orlesian was relieved when no one pried further into the matter though she caught the look Zevran gave her; that knowing smirk that was always on his face. He was too smart for his sake she figured. Excusing herself, she got up and walked away from the fire, heading to the edge of the camp. She leaned against a tree, staring into the darkness beyond. Leliana didn’t bother acknowledging Zevran’s approach a few moments later, standing on the other side of the tree.

“You have quite a gilded tongue, Leliana. Your bardmaster taught you well.” Zevran commented, knowing it would get under her skin.

“I only told them what they needed to know. What’s past is in the past and that is where it shall stay.” Leliana retorted testily.

“Hmmm, perhaps but that silver-eyed mage is quite inquisitive. Always asking questions I’ve noticed. How long do you think you can deny her curiosity? She does not seem so easily satisfied.” The antivan teased.

“You know nothing, assassin.” She hissed angrily.

“Ah, but you are an interesting book to read, Leliana. Your reaction when I mentioned you being a bard told me several things. I imagine you had a falling out with your bardmaster. You didn’t join a village Chantry in a backwater country like Ferelden simply because you had a change of heart. She’s still alive, isn’t she?” Zevran pressed in a whimsical tone.

Leliana refused to answer, clenching her jaw in anger. Her hand had slid to the Pelerine Slip-Knife on her belt. She could gut Zevran here and now, maybe blame it on the Dalish but no, not everyone was so easily fooled. Zevran chuckled, a firm but gentle grip on her wrist. She hadn’t even heard him move and tried to move her arm, but he was quite firm and had better leverage on her.

“Your secret is safe with me, don’t worry. But if my suspicions about why you went into hiding are true, then I imagine it will not be long before the master comes looking for their pet. If they learn you are working with the Wardens, well if Loghain is willing to hire the Crows to kill them…” He whispered to her, letting the possibility hang in the air.

“You are a vile man, Zevran.” She hissed between clenched teeth.

“You wound me. I mean you no harm, Leliana. I pledged myself to Awina, promising to keep her safe just as the rest of you have made commitments to the Wardens. However, you also present a possible danger to all of us. Your skill is remarkable, Leliana, as a liar and a fighter and it speaks volumes of the one who trained you.” Zevran replied, letting go of her wrist, smiling smugly.

“Why have this conversation with me if you plan to keep it to yourself? Blackmail when it’s convenient? Sell us out to The Crows?” she demanded, rounding on him.

“No. I am merely concerned. A blind man can see how you look at that girl. The old woman and the witch know it, Alistair is too naïve to see it and I don’t think Sten cares. You want the silver-eyed mage in your bedroll. Perhaps she feels something similar for you but regardless, if your master discovers such a weakness, well… you know them best.” He warned her, his tone is suddenly serious.

Her expression fell at the thought. He was right, if Marjolaine discovered that she desired Awina, the mage would be a target. She knew her well enough to know the woman would enact her revenge on others, force Leliana to live with what happened like she did with Tug and Sketch. Zevran reached out and patted her on the shoulder.

“I will do what I can to help you but the truth will come out one way or another. I would suggest not waiting until after the damage is done. Come, it seems Awina and Morrigan are going to spar again and it is always interesting, no?”

They returned to camp. Alistair and Wynne gave them a quizzical look of concern, but Zevran told them they were observing the Dalish scouts for a while. Leliana was troubled by what Zevran had told her, but he had been right. If Marjolaine ever learned of her whereabouts, of what she was doing; they would all be at risk. Her former bardmaster would go after them first before targeting her, just to make her suffer more. Take away her new life. She became lost in thought, staring into the fire. She barely heard the spell slinging going on between Morrigan and Awina, the argument that happened shortly after, Alistair joining in. Leliana was just lost in thought.

She was startled by Maxis licking her face, cocking his head to the side with a worried whine. Leliana blinked, as if she were seeing the mabari for the first time but broke out into a smile and reached up to scratch him behind the ear.

“Hello, Maxis. I don’t have any treats for you tonight my friend.” She said.

The dog barked and pushed his way onto her lap, rubbing his head against her cheek, paws on her shoulder as if he were hugging her. She laughed and wrapped an arm around him to scratch him behind the shoulders. Awina came back, rubbing her side. Morrigan’s sparring and lessons were still resulting in a lot of bruisings, but she was too frustrated to continue with the witch tonight.

“Maxis! I’m so sorry Leliana. You know better than to jump on people and slobber on them, you goofy beast.” Awina chided, calling Maxis over to his side.

“I think he’s jealous Morrigan has been getting all your attention.” Zevran laughed.

“Well, go harass her instead, Maxis. Bitch deserves it right now.” The mage grumbled, shooing the dog away before sitting down.

“Another rough lesson?” Leliana asked, noticing Awina was favoring her ribs.

“Yes. She seems to think attempting to kill me is going to help with repeating whatever happened with Uldred.” Awina sighed in annoyance.

“Perhaps you two need some space? With the Dalish keeping an eye on us, I don’t think it would be advisable to continuing your lessons while we’re near the forest.” Wynne cautioned, sewing a patch onto one of Alistair’s few tunics.

“Ya, I’d rather not wake up with an arrow in my backside.” Alistair quipped.

“I could use the break. I do not feel like I am learning anything. I don’t remember anything beyond when I first arrived at the Circle, let alone what happened when I discovered I was a mage. Alistair. Do you think we should try contacting this Dalish clan? See if they will honor the Grey Warden treaties?” the mage replied, quickly changing topics.

“Could be worth a shot. We could use their archers, but I don’t know if they’d be willing to let us close. Dalish aren’t too fond of humans last I heard.” He replied. “How would we even find them?”

“I was thinking of going with Zevran and Leliana. The clan knows we’re here if they’re watching us. The clan might be nearby.” Awina replied, looking at Leliana hopefully.

“I go where you lead my dear.” Zevran replied.

“I will go, just to ensure our Crow friend here doesn’t try to accost our leader when he thinks no one is looking.” Leliana said, glaring at him.

“Then it’s settled. We’ll go looking for them in the morning, after breakfast. I am exhausted, so I am going to head to bed.” Awina announced, getting back to her feet.

Awina wandered off to a quieter spot, slightly away from the camp but still within the ring of light from the campfire. She took a moment to look out into the darkness, wondering if the scouts were watching her. She knelt and was about to start reciting a verse from the Chant of Light when she heard the soft crunch of leaves behind her. She turned around in fear of it being one of the scouts, but it was Leliana.

“Do you mind if I join you in your evening prayers, Awina?” She asked gently.

“O-of course! I would enjoy your company Leliana.” Awina responded, glad it was her.

They both knelt, Leliana barely an inch from her shoulder. Awina started to recite the Chant of Transfigurations, verse ten. Leliana matched her words, the lit of her accent providing a smooth melody that always seemed to soothe her troubled heart whenever Awina heard her talk. They finished the prayer and stayed in silence for a few moments before they both rose to their feet. Awina smiled at her, tucking a loose strand of hair back behind her ear.

“Leliana, what Zevran said back during dinner… I’ve heard stories about bards.” She said a bit nervously.

“Stories?” Leliana asked.

“Well, I don’t know what is true. Sometimes, you hear things from travelers and the other mages like to exaggerate. Musicians would visit from time to time and I once overheard that bards are different; that they do more than just sing songs and tell stories. I’ve heard they’re spies for nobles, always trading in secrets.” Awina explained.

“You’re wondering if I did any of that.” The redhead replied cautiously.

“I do not mean to question your character Leliana, but you are nothing like the ley-sisters I’ve known and met.” The mage said hastily. “I’m sorry if I insulted you with my question.”

“I am not insulted, Awina. I did trade in secrets from time to time. Barding is a rewarding but dangerous profession.” Leliana told her, glossing past the truth again.

“Do you miss it? It sounds like it was quite an exciting life. Traveling the world, seeing sights few ever do in their lifetime.” Awina sighed whimsically.

“It did, but it had many dangers to it. It’s why I left it behind. The skills I learned from it are being put to a much nobler purpose now.”

“Again, I’m sorry if this was a sore topic to discuss. I just, like learning about you Leliana. You’ve seen and done so much. Maker, Morrigan is more learned than I am. The world seems so small when all you see are stone walls for most of your life. I wish I could remember what I might have had before if I wasn’t mage. A family, a home…”

“There is nothing you remember from your past? Where you might be from?” Leliana asked.

“Only a crest of some importance; two red birds entwined.” Awina said, a small slump coming to her shoulders.

“I’m sorry. I don’t recall seeing a mark like that.” Leliana replied after giving it some thought.

“Shame. Perhaps, after this is over, I’ll have the leisure to investigate. Thank you, Leliana. I appreciate your help. I’ve prattled on long enough I suppose.”

Awina turned to leave but stopped when Leliana gently touched her shoulder. She reached up and stroked the back of her hand along the young mage’s cheek, her silver eyes almost seeming to glow in the darkness. She smiled and patted her on the head to hide her intention in that fleeting touch.

“You’ll find an answer. I am sorry, for hiding what I was from you and the others. I wasn’t sure what you might think if you knew.” Leliana replied.

“It’s ok. You are a good person, Leliana. I don’t think I could ever think ill of you. I hope you sleep well, good night.” Awina responds with a warm smile.

Leliana watched her return to the camp and then disappear into her tent, Maxis following moments later. The camp was quieting down as everyone was getting ready to sleep. She felt quite tired herself. Covering the revelation of her past had gone well but Zevran’s warning still rung true. She would have to be cautious from now on, else she would put everyone at significant risk. Especially Awina.

That was the last thing Leliana wanted.


	8. Buried Truths

The Bercillian Forest was quiet, but they all could feel themselves being watched by something in the woods. Zatharian implored them to help him deal with the werewolf threat, to find the beast known as Witherfang and bring back its heart so he may save those who had yet turned. Awina had been fascinated by her interaction with the Dalish Keeper yet the way the elves watched them with suspicion reminded her of how the Templars looked in the tower. Always watching, always wary… looking for an excuse to do harm.

“Do you think there're such things as werewolves?” Alistair asked Wynne as they followed the winding path.

“If Zathrian’s story is to be believed, then yes. Those injuries were not made by any beast I’ve ever seen.” The old woman replied.

“Why would the elves stay if there are such beasts lurking about?” Awina asked, nervously sticking close to Alistair, Maxis walking at her heels.

“With the Blight and civil war brewing, the Keeper is only looking out for his people. The werewolves are likely the lesser of the three problems.” Leliana explained.

They reached a wooden bridge that crossed a creek but found several werewolves waiting for them. Hulking beasts that stood as tall as Sten, covered in wiry fur. They had sharp claws and teeth but surprisingly, they spoke in a halting manner.

“Leave. Hrrg. Now! We will not suffer Zathrian’s tools. Hrrg.” One spoke, likely the leader.

“Why do you attack the elves?” Awina asked with her arm looped around Alistair’s.

“WE PROTECT THE LADY!! Hrrgh, step deeper into the forest, rggh, and you shall die!” The werewolf had snarled before they ran off into the shadows of the trees.

Werewolves weren’t the only threat they faced. Wild beasts roamed about and blood mages hid within one of the abandoned ruins their path took them through. Awina could feel the Fade flowing around them. The Veil was so thin here, part of her was afraid demons would start popping out from behind the trees and the shadows. She felt whispers of memories that had seeped into the soil, the briefest touch of a forgotten soul. Part of her wanted to learn what the forest knew, what stories and secrets lie forgotten here but ever since Redcliffe, she was afraid going into the Fade again.

They found the werewolves den soon enough, Swiftrunner waiting for them with a few werewolves at his side. He howled angrily as they charged them, slamming into Alistair’s shield and clawing madly, teeth snapping as he tried to reach him. Though they outnumbered the werewolves, they were stronger and faster and the tide of battle was evenly matched. Awina was attempting to call upon that well of power beyond her reach, but her frustrations clouded her mind, anger flaring as she began to think herself useless. She started threw a fire spell to help Alistair deal with Swiftrunner, the werewolf jumping away from the flames and snarling.

“Awina!” Zevran called, having caught sight of something white moving from the trees.

She turned just in time to see a massive white wolf lunging at her. The beast slammed into her, knocking her to the ground, the thick bark wrapped around its limbs tearing her robes as she struggled to get out from under it. Maxis came charging in to help, but one look from the wolf’s eyes made the mabari skid to a halt, whimpering as he bowed his head to it. The wolf looked down at her; lips curled back over its sharp teeth, saliva dripping onto her robes. Awina squeezed her eyes shut, expecting those teeth to tear into her. Instead, she felt the weight of the beast suddenly lift and opened her eyes to find Sten wrestling with it, arms around its neck as he dragged it away from her. The wolf snarled and thrashed against him, trying to twist its head and bite him.

“Sten!” Awina called, hurrying to her feet and throwing an ice spell at the large wolf’s feet to try and contain it.

The spell was countered, thrown back at her and changing. Roots and vines burst from the dirt and tangled around her legs. The wolf snarled and slammed Sten into a tree, loosening his grip so it could break free. Shrugging off Morrigan’s spell, it charged at Alistair and forced him to retreat, enabling Swiftrunner to escape into the ruins. The wolf fled back into the forest a few moments later, the forest going silent again. Zevran and Leliana helped cut Awina free of the foliage she was entangled in.

“That was a really big wolf. Do you think that was Witherfang?” Alistair commented, Wynne checking on him after she was assured Sten had not been injured.

“Probably. Which means this must be the werewolf den. These ruins are ancient.” Morrigan replied thoughtfully, looking down the path.

“Remnants of the Imperium?” Awina asked, going to stand beside Morrigan.

“Far older than the Imperium. These ruins are elvish, Awina.; the decayed bones of a fallen people. You’ve felt it, what permeates the atmosphere of the woods. There is more going on here beyond what Zathrian has told us.” The witch explained.

“I find myself in agreement with Morrigan. The werewolves have, so far, only been defending themselves against us. There is a side to this conflict that has been masked from us.” Wynne chimed in.

“Well, if we’re going to find answers, they’re going to be in there. Into the lion’s den, yes?” Zevran quipped, gesturing towards the ruins ahead of them.

* * *

 

The main entrance into the heart of the temple had been sealed by the werewolves, forcing them to find an alternate route through the ruins. The upper level was a mess of overgrown and collapsed rooms. Spiders had nested in the rooms where no light shone and desiccated corpses shambled about. The worst part were the constant voices and whispers that flitted by. Wynne and Morrigan seemed unphased by the noise but Awina was growing agitated. Many of them spoke in a language she didn’t recognize.

“Think I found a way through here!” Zevran called, having scouted ahead to find a route to the lower parts of the ruin.

The room they entered seemed like come kind of hall. Part of the wall and ceiling had fallen through, leaving the interior exposed to the forest. Trees and brush grew thick here but the air oddly smelt like rotten flesh and sulfur. Maxis growled, hunching into a battle stance. Awina noticed and gave Alistair a quizzical look when nothing tried to attack them.

“Um… is something wrong with him?” She asked worriedly as the dog kept growling.

“He must smell something. Maybe werewolves?” Alistair retorted with a shrug.

“We are not alone. Something is coming.” Sten said, drawing his blade.

Sure enough, they could hear the sound of beating wings growing louder and louder before something dropped through the massive hole in the ceiling. Awina’s jaw dropped as she stared at the beast before them; covered in scales with a broad, leathery wings. Never before had she thought she’d witness seeing one of these creatures outside of stories and illustrations but here it was, narrow muzzle snapping as it hissed at them.

“Dragon!!” Alistair shouted, moving his shield in front of her as the group scattered.

Liquid fire spewed from its maw, Alistair moving the pair of them out of the way. Sten charged at the beast with his heavy blade in hand, Maxis joining him. The dragon snarled as the mabari lunged, powerful jaws clamping down on one of its wings, near the shoulder. It screeched, thrashing about to try and throw the dog off. Its tail slammed into Sten, knocking the heavy qunari to the ground, denting his armor. Maxis was forced to let go when the dragon rolled, intent on crushing the dog.

“Over here!!” Alistair shouted, banging his sword against his shield to draw the dragon’s attention as he ran to the far side of the room.

The scaly beast growled and followed after him, claws scrapping against the stone in pursuit. Awina came to her senses and threw an ice spell, hitting it on the back and encasing its wing joints in ice. The dragon roared, giving Alistair the opportunity to rush forward, blade cutting into its chest. The dragon swung its neck hard, sweeping Alistair off his feet. Sharp teeth and claws scratched into his shield as the dragon tried to bite him.

“Alistair!” Awina screamed in panic.

The dragon shrieked when the nimble assassin climbed onto its back. Its’ wings flared and pushed down in an attempt to take flight. Zevran dug one of his poison-laced daggers right into its back, between its shoulders. The dragon screamed and bucked, throwing the elf off itself as it thrashed, Zevran hitting the ground in a roll and back on his feet without any harm done.

“Freeze it Awina!” Morrigan shouted, lightning crackling from her staff as she struck at the dragon.

Realizing she was gawking again, Awina refocused her attention, staff held tightly in her hand. The ground underneath the dragon’s clawed feet turned slick, spires of ice suddenly grabbing all four limbs. The dragon snarled, long neck turning to face her, mouth agape as it inhaled in preparation to spit more flames. Awina jumped aside, the dragon’s aim thrown off by the arrow that pierced it right behind the skull. Even with one limb free, the dragon was stuck for a few moments but the ice was already cracking.

With a fearsome battle cry, Sten charged and stabbed his sword through the dragon’s chest, twisting it as the creature screeched. Sten stood his ground, the dragon’s teeth ripping one of his shoulder guards and gouging flesh. Blood bubbled from the dragon’s throat as it slowed before slumping over. The qunari wrenched his blade free as the dragon gave its final breath.

“Maker…” Leliana breathed as she climbed down from her perch.

Everyone gathered around the dragon to marvel at the beast they had just slain. Wynne immediately attended to Sten’s injuries but everyone was fine. Maxis sported up a couple of scraps, maw covered in blood. Awina cautiously approached it, noting the blunt muzzle and horns. Despite the lethality of the creature, their numbers had proven the advantage and her academic curiosity got the better of her.

“Awina, what are you doing?” Wynne asked as the girl carefully knelt down next to the dragon.

“It’s a real dragon… the Tower didn’t even have bones! I never thought I’d ever see one… it looks like a Ferelden Frostback.” She replied, fingertips running over the still warm scales on its jaw.

“This must have been its den… which means there is a hoard nearby. Let’s find it and then move on. I would rather not be left vulnerable for the werewolves to find us.” Zevran quipped, wandering off to look for the dragon’s treasure.

They found a pile of items in the corner near the exit; coins, armor, weapons, and jewels. They took what they could care and of value, then Sten and Alistair cleared the debris over the door before forcing the rotted wood open, revealing a set of stairs leading to the lower level of the ruin.

“And into the belly of the beast we go.” Zevran said in an oddly cheerful tone, leading the way.

The whispers in the Veil got worse on the lower levels. Awina could hear distinct voices now, hairs on the back of her neck standing on end as she stuck close to Alistair with Maxis close at her heels yet again. There were more undead and werewolves down here and in greater numbers. They found reprieve from the constant assaults in a small side room filled with faded, dusty scrolls. They needed to rest and regain their strength a bit before pressing on. Sten stood guard near the entrance while the rest milled about. Morrigan and Wynne were poking about the old parchments and broken relics while Alistar, Zevran, and Leliana sat and shared a small snack. Awina was towards the back of the room, trying to ignore the whispers that were giving her a headache. Maxis was nosing around in a pile of papers and broken items next to some altar. Awina leaned against it, closing her eyes and trying to close out the noise.

“How are you holding up?” Alistair asked, gently tapping her on the shoulder when he thought she had fallen asleep.

“Huh? Oh, ok I guess. Just all this noise from the Fade. So much happened here and I’m trying to shut it out.” She replied wearily.

“Veil’s pretty thin here, huh? This place gives me the creeps.” He said, moving a little closer to her.

“Everywhere we’ve been has managed to give you the creeps. I just want a moment of quiet.” Awina sighed.

“I don’t envy you, to be honest, but wish there was something I could do to help.”

She smiled at him in response, then was distracted when Maxis chuffed, digging something out from the pile. She shooed him away, afraid he was going to hurt himself when she saw the dusty phylactery… or at least, she thought that was what it was. Awina bent to pick it up, the object covered with a thick layer of dust. Alistair peered over her shoulder to see what she had.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Not sure. Looks like a phylactery but not like any I’ve seen. Why would elves need these?” She wondered, switching it to her rid hand as she turned to hold it up in the light and get a better look at it.

An odd tingling sensation ran up her arm as she held the phylactery and a whisper started to drown out the others, speaking in a language she didn’t understand. Awina began to feel dizzy and her eyes suddenly rolled back into her head and she collapsed, the phylactery clutched in her hand. Alistair was immediately on his knees, trying to shake her awake and calling for help.

“What happened?” Wynne asked as she checked the woman’s pulse, finding she was quite alive.

“I dunno. Maxis found something in the rubble. She said it was some phylactery or some other and then she just collapsed.” Alistair replied, pointing at her clutched hand.

“Buffon. Even supervised, she manages to get herself into trouble. You two are laughable wardens at best.” Morrigan criticized as she knelt and tried to pry the item from Awina’s grasp.

After several unsuccessful attempts by the party to get the phylactery out of Awina’s hand, Wynne concluded that whatever had caused her to faint was tied to the item. It would take breaking her fingers or even cutting off the hand to get the thing, but both Wynne and Morrigan worried that forcibly removing the phylactery from her could harm her, a result that could be fatal. All they could do was wait.

* * *

 

Every visit to the Fade always presented her with a new perspective of the place. It was never the same, but this was unusually different. Instead of the usually twisted landscape, Awina found herself standing in a recreation of the ruins, rebuilt in their full splendor. A rare glimpse into the empire the Elves had before it collapsed under the Imperium. There were glittering mosaics on the walls, statues of unknown deities holding torches. Elves dressed in luxurious robes and leather walked back and forth. Then it dawned on her; this wasn’t just the Fade. These were memories.

_You are the one who found me._

 Awina spun to find herself facing a spirit, form more distinct than most spirits she had encountered, save for the Spirit of Valor during her Harrowing. For some reason, that one had looked like a Templar but this one looked like some sort of elvish warrior. He was dressed in a light, flexible looking armor and carried a staff with a blade at one end.

“I was. Wait, are you trapped in that phylactery I found? Is that why I’m here in the Fade?” She asked in turn, piecing the events together.

_Yes. I have slumbered here for centuries, unable to join the rest of my brethren in Uthenera._

“I am sorry. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

_My prison cannot be destroyed without destroying myself. However, I recall there being an altar used in the ritual that placed me here. It can release me. I, however, do not recall where it is. Much of my memory has faded into shadow._

“An altar? I think I was standing next one when I found the gem. What are you, exactly? I’ve never known elves to dress as you do.” Awina asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

_We were once strong, masters of blade and magic alike. We found a way to combine both into a deadly force and called individuals who bore the skill Arcane Warriors. The art has become a shadow of its former self. You possess great, ancient power in your blood; distilled from a very worthy line. As thanks for your help in freeing me from this prison, I will give you everything I know about the Arcane Warrior arts and more. Knowledge for freedom._

* * *

 

Awina suddenly awoke, finding herself lying on the dusty floor. Maxis barked and immediately started licking her face. She had to shove him off before she was drowned in dog slobber. The rest of the group stirred, relieved that she was ok.

“Enjoy your nap? Had us worried again.” Alistair said, wiping some of the dust off her cheek as she got to her feet.

“Ya, I’m sorry. I did not expect myself to faint like that.” She said, noticing she still had the gem in her hand.

“I suggest you toss that thing before it decides to stop your heart next time.” Morrigan quipped in annoyance, scowling.

“It’s not dangerous. There’s a spirit trapped inside. It just wanted help.” Awina replied, turning to face the altar.

Remembering the instructions the spirit had given her, she placed the gem in the slot on the altar. It glowed for a brief moment before going dark and split in half. She could no longer feel the spirit in the prison at all and smiled. Now it was at peace and she had learned a slew of new spells and other skills she knew would benefit her in battle… once she got the hang of actually using them. Wynne gave a quizzically worried look.

“What was that about?” the old woman asked.

“Just an old soul who wanted to go home. We, um, should probably get going. The werewolves and all that?” She replied a bit evasively.

Deciding to save questions for later, they continued deeper into the ruins, eventually reaching the heart of the ruins; the lair of the werewolves. A werewolf was waiting for them before the door, but it wasn’t Swiftrunner. The Lady of the Forest had sent him to plead with them to parley, a condition Awina readily agreed to. She was sure that Zathrian had been hiding the truth behind the curse from them. There was more to this story and she wanted to know everything before coming to a decision on whose side she was truly on.

The center of the room had an old tree growing up from the floor, a pale, grey-skinned woman standing underneath it and surrounded by the werewolves. Her eyes were white, just like Witherfang’s, but Awina suspected that this ‘lady’ and the beast were the same. Swiftrunner grew aggressive, but a staying stroke from the woman’s long fingers seemed to calm him. She faced the group and greeted them warmly before going on to explain herself, the werewolves, and the tragedy that lead to the birth of the curse. Humans had killed his son and raped his daughter, who committed suicide after learning she was pregnant. Driven mad by his grief, he trapped the spirit of the forest, binding it in the form of the great wolf Witherfang; a tool of his vengeance. However, the curse lingered and spread after the perpetrators had long perished.

They found Zathrian waiting within the ruins when they left to find him, expecting them to have Witherfang’s heart but Awina demanded he go back with this and put this curse to rest for good. At first he resisted and tried to fight but he was sorely outnumbered and relented. The curse had been keeping him alive, but it was also killing his clan. In the end, they achieved peace, curing the curse once and for all. Both Zathrian and the Lady of the Forest were gone. The former werewolves, human and elves alike, were now free.


	9. A Dangerous Game

“You’re going to do what?!” Alistair asked in alarm once Zevran had finished explaining their plan.

The trail of the Sacred Ashes led them to Denerim, Loghain’s stronghold and the heart of Ferelden. A man known as Brother Genetivi had been helping the Arl’s knights try to find the mythological ashes and he was their only lead. However, Awina and Alistair were both wanted, since the Grey Wardens had been declared outlaws in Ferelden. They had to get into the city and the front door wasn’t an option.

“Do you have a problem with brothels, Alistair? The Pearl is a very nice establishment, and you two can keep yourselves occupied while we find what we need. I hear the stamina of Grey Wardens is unmatched.” The elven man jested in reply, making the man’s ears turn red with embarrassment.

“It’s the only option we have. It’ll be too dangerous for you two to wander about the city. Someone might recognize you, especially Awina.” Wynne chimed in, patting Alistair on the shoulder.

“Perhaps our young princeling hasn’t had his cherry popped?” Leliana quipped, looking thoughtful.

“I have too!” Alistair protested, earning a laugh from the group.

Once they had calmed, they made their way to the spot Zevran indicated. It was dusk, so the fading light of the falling sun enabled them to see. The watchmen were also changing shifts, so it gave them the opportunity to slip in unnoticed through the docks. Awina had never been to Denerim, but the scent of sea water, rotten fish, and sewage made her stomach churn uncomfortably. The elven assassin led them to the brothel, entering through a side entrance so no one would notice. Rooms in the back of the establishment had already been prepared for them. Come dawn, Alistair and Awina would have to wait until their companions came back with information on Brother Genetivi before they could leave the city. Until then, they were now confined to the Pearl.

The first few hours of the day wasn’t so bad. They had a hearty breakfast and a proper bath, complete with fresh clothing. Awina had given up on traditional mage robes and stuck with soft leather breeches and a light tunic. She had discussed with Zevran and Alistair about wearing armor but right now, they needed to blend in and not draw any suspicion towards themselves. However, Awina was sick of being cooped up in her room and needed to stretch her legs… and grab a drink.

The Pearl was relatively empty right now, only a couple of patrons milling about. The workers looked bored and the bartender was cleaning glasses when she approached. He greeted her with a grunt before setting the glass down.

“What can I get fer ya?” He asked, leaning on the bar.

“Do you have a bottle of Rowan’s Rose?” She asked.

“Sure. I’ll just add it to Zev’s tab.” The bartender grunted before heading down to the wine cellar.

He returned a few minutes later with a bottle and set it on the counter, along with a glass. Awina thanked him in a quiet voice and headed towards the back of the Pearl and sat down. She had also brought a book of Antivan poetry she had found in her room to read. The window was cracked open, allowing in the salty breeze. Awina let out a pleased sigh as she settled on the bench, leaning her back against the wall. She had popped the cork on the bottle, allowing it to breathe before pouring herself a glass. She opened the book to a random poem. This was relaxing and Awina was glad for this distraction. An elven woman came over to her table, dressed in a thinly veiled shift. Her large eyes were a deep shade of green, accented by her brown hair.

“Shall I pour that for you, miss?” She asked, pointing at the bottle.

“Ah, I think I can manage, thank you.” Awina replied, flushing a little as she kept her eyes above the woman’s neckline.

The elven woman just shrugged and wandered off, leaving her alone. Awina relaxed again and poured herself a glass of wine before settling in and reading her book. Hours slipped by relatively unnoticed as she read the book cover to cover twice, committing the material to memory. Maybe she could impress Leliana with a few verses.

“Excusez-moi, madame. Are you waiting for a client?” A woman with a thick Orlesian accent asked, approaching her.

“Huh? Oh! My apologies but I am not for hire. I don’t work here.” She said, setting down her wine glass.

“Ah, shame. You are such an exotic beauty. Tis no way I can convince you, perhaps, to entertain me for a few hours?” The woman asked, her honey-brown eyes glinting with mischief.

“I am sorry ma’am but no. I’m just enjoying some wine and…”

“A collection of works by Antivan poets during the Steel Age? I recognize that book you have. The Four Shadows of Madrigal is one of my favorites. Very rare to find someone of intelligence in a brothel.” The woman replied.

Awina gave her a surprised look as the woman sat down on the bench on the other side of the table, lips curled in a coy smile. The mage was certain she was Orlesian since her accent was quite similar to Leliana’s, if not stronger. She set the book down; a bit intrigued, picking up her bottle and refilling her glass.

“Um, would you like a glass?” She offered.

“Oh, I don’t want to feel like I am imposing on you. If I am disturbing you, I’ll go.”

“No, no. I just didn’t want to appear rude. I don’t meet very many people with such interests in the arts though this is a rare day where I’m not ankle-deep in the cold mud.” Awina replied, waving over one of the girls and asking for a second glass.

“I see. Well, one sometimes finds more than pleasures of the flesh in a brothel. You are, presently, much more interesting than the fare I have seen being offered… but then I don’t expect much from this backwater country. I don’t know how you live with the smell of wet dog.” The woman huffed.

“You stop smelling it after a few weeks.” Awina chuckled, the woman smiling in return.

“At least you have good taste in wine. Do you do much traveling?” She asked.

“These past few months I’ve been journeying around Ferelden, mostly avoiding the Blight.” Awina replied carefully, reminding herself to keep from revealing her true intentions.

“Blight. Civil war between the lords… tis an unfortunate situation. Nay, lets change to a more pleasant topic. Tell me, which poem is your favorite?”

“Oh, well, it’s hard to pick a favorite but if I had to, the Heart of a Rose.” She replied after giving it some thought.

“A love poem. Perhaps a valiant knight you are trying to woo is what drew your interest?” The orlesian asked, sipping her wine.

“What makes you think I am trying to woo anyone? Maybe I’ve just got a soft spot for love poems.” Awina asked, unable to hide the fluster in her voice or the flush creeping across her cheeks.

“You’re blushing. Come, pretty thing, tell of this man who’s charmed your heart. I may be of some help. I know much about the matters of love.” She replied with a warm smile.

Awina bit her bottom lip as she refilled her guest’s glass. Her affections for Leliana had only grown in the past few weeks. She had been charmed by the woman since they met in Lothering and those feelings festered and grew to the point where she was having a hard time focusing around the woman even when fighting. She was certain it was not mere lust she felt for this woman but not knowing what Leliana’s feelings towards her were kept her from pursuing the matter. She feared changing their close friendship in a negative way.

“It’s not a knight or soldier… or even a man. A woman, a dear friend actually. Lately, I cannot stop thinking of her.” Awina replied cautiously, making sure not to mention names.

“Intriguing. Tell me about this woman.”

“Beautiful and strong, gentle of heart. The most beautiful blue eyes, like the mid-day sky. She’s been one of my traveling companions for a few months now.” Awina explained, trying to be as vague as possible.

“She sounds beautiful. I think I can understand why you are so smitten with her but be cautious, sweet smiles can hide the fangs of a viper.” She said in warning.

“Not her. I don’t know what she may have done in her life before but that doesn’t make me care for her any less. Having her near makes what we’ve been doing seem much easier.” The mage sighed, becoming lost in her thoughts.

“Ah, young love. Does she not reciprocate your feelings, pretty thing? If she’s as half as beautiful as you are, I am surprised you two are not already sharing a bedroll together.” The woman commented with a sly smile.

“I do not know what she feels for me. We are friends and trust each other but its… it feels one-sided right now. I do not know if I should tell her how she makes me feel but some days, not telling her is maddening.” Awina sighed, slouching back against the wall with her wine glass in hand.

The woman remained silent for a few minutes, swirling the contents of her glass slowly and watching Awina. The young mage wasn’t sure what to think of her but so far, she was turning out to be very pleasant company. It was a very welcome distraction from the Blight and the civil war brewing. Things, for the time being, felt normal.

“Perhaps a token of your affections might draw her attention?” The woman offered.

“I leave petals of her favorite flowers in her bedroll at night. She finds their scent comforting. We will talk about the stars or she’d share stories and songs from her travels when we have the spare moment alone.” Awina said, looking a bit lofty.

“And she hasn’t softened to such a tender display? You poor thing. How vexing your situation is. Perhaps I can provide some advice?” She offered, setting her empty glass on the table.

“What would you suggest, since you claim yourself well versed in the matters of the heart?” The young mage asked, dubious.

“Obviously, your subtle hints are not working even though they are likely appreciated. Just tell her how she ignites passion in your blood and dances through your dreams. Your heart sings for her and awaits an answering song in return.” The woman said a bit dramatically.

“I am no bard, ma’am. I believe I would flounder and make a fool of myself trying to recite anything half as good as what you said.” Awina sighed, marveled by the woman’s short speech.

“Life is fleeting and if you let her slip away, it will haunt you forever. Just be honest, pretty thing, and she will see the error of her ignorance.”

“And what if confessing my desire hurts our friendship? I do not think I could bear the pain of her avoiding me or leaving entirely. I dare to hope that she is the answer to a question I have been unable to answer.” The young woman asked nervously.

“And what if it doesn’t? Life would be so boring if there were no risks. If she rejects your affections, you are in a brothel. Drowning yourself in booze and sex for the eve would help lessen the sting.” The orlesian offered, finishing her glass.

Through their conversation, they finished the contents of the wine. The woman had given Awina much to think about. Perhaps, it was time to stop wallowing in confusion and self-pity and tell Leliana how she felt. This was a rare opportunity where she could get the bard alone and without fear of her companions overhearing their conversation to tease and gossip about later. And she had a point, if Leliana did reject her, she was at least in place that provided distraction. Still, she should say something, tonight. Get it out in the open, clear the burden from her chest and live with the outcome, whatever it may be. It was better than stewing in these torturous doubts about it.

“Thank you, ma’am. You’ve given me much to think about, but I think I will heed your advice and speak my mind to her tonight.” Awina said with confidence in her voice.

“Excellent! I pray to the Maker it has a very pleasant outcome. I thank you for permitting me to share your bottle of wine and have this conversation. It was much more entertaining that what I had hoped to seek here.” The orlesian woman returned, getting to her feet.

“I’m glad I wasn’t boring at least.”

“Oh, I don’t think you could be boring if you tried, pretty thing. I wish you luck on your future travels and, perhaps, our paths will cross again.”

“That would be pleasant. I could introduce you to her if we ever meet again.”

“I’m sure we will meet again and I look forward to congratulating you on ensnaring your new lover.”

* * *

 

The group did not return until late afternoon, but they returned successfully. They had found Brother Genitivi’s home, but the trip had not been without complications. It seemed someone had beaten them there, killing his apprentice and spouting nonsense about a ‘reborn Andraste’ before they were forced to kill him. Brother Genitivi was long gone but had left notes with his apprentice, guiding them to a hidden location in the Frostback Mountains, an unknown village called Haven. Something was amiss about this journey to find the ashes, but they had to if there was any hope of getting Arl Eamon awake and back on his feet. They occupied a table as they ate a late lunch, Awina, and Alistair both thirsty for news.

“So, what did you two do all day? Have fun?” Zevran asked slyly.

“I slept most of the day. I forgot how much I missed an actual bed.” Alistair admitted, ears burning.

“Such a waste. What about you Awina?”

“I… had a bottle of wine, a nice conversation with another patron for a few hours and read poetry.” She replied once she had swallowed what she had in her mouth.

“You two are so disappointing. You spend an entire day in a brothel and neither of you fornicate? I might have a heart attack.” Zevran teased, Morrigan snickering.

Awina and Alistair glanced at each other, both a bit embarrassed but neither had a good answer. Zevran went on about that, before they leave in the morning, they’d have a night of fun and started ordering bottles of liquor to join their meal. Alcohol loosened their inhibitions though Awina didn’t partake in as much as everyone else, eyes lingering on Leliana as she drank. Her smile was free and full of laughter as Alistair was awkwardly dancing with one of the female workers. Her hands shook and she felt a cold sweat running down the back of her neck. She was nervous, extremely nervous. She got up and headed to her room to splash some water on her face, collect her thoughts in the quiet.

When she came back out into the main room, she balked and her heart seemed to freeze for an instant as time slowed. Leliana was flirting with a raven-haired man, hand splayed across his bare chest, coy smile on her lips. She recognized him as one of the Pearl’s workers but that didn’t stay the flare of jealousy that burned through her. Her hands and jaw clenched as she stood there, nervousness rooting her in place. The man was just a whore, her attentions to him didn’t mean anything. She went to the bar and grabbed a couple of drinks, bringing them over to the table and setting one in front of Alistair while she immediately downed the other.

Leliana looked over at Awina and saw the woman froze as their gaze met. Jealousy and confusion were plain on her face, a small tremble to her hands as she stood there for a moment before mumbling an excuse and hurrying out the side entrance. Her ruse having the intended effect, Leliana excused herself from the escort with her and followed after her. The salty night air hit her as soon as she opened the door, cool breeze caressing her heated skin. Luckily, Awina had not wandered far, standing under a lantern on the docks, lost in thought.

Awina? Are you feeling ok?” She called, footfalls nearly silent as she approached Awina.

“I… I just need some air. I think I had a bit too much to drink.” The mage replied without even looking at her, her heart hammering against her chest.

Why couldn’t she just say it? She had confessed easily to Cullen and other lovers about her fleeting affections for them but why couldn’t she say it to Leliana? Looking upon her made her thoughts go blank and her palms sweat. Though taking inspiration from the conversation earlier in the day, she still did not feel brave enough to follow through.

“You hardly drank enough to make a virgin drunk, Awina. You looked jealous when you saw me with that man.” Leliana pointed out, going for the direct approach instead.

“Maker, I suppose I am that easy to read. Yes, I am… was jealous.” She replied with a heavy sigh.

“Did you fancy him? I can entertain myself with another if you wanted that man. He is quite built…” Leliana started but Awina’s outburst interrupted her.

“I only fancy you!” she said loudly, body trembling. “Maker, I had hoped to say this in a more eloquent way but that hope’s been dashed. Leliana, I…” She hesitated.

“You fancy me?” Leliana asked, an elated lit to her voice.

“Since Redcliffe or maybe even before that but I wasn’t aware of how deep my feelings ran for you until that accursed Desire demon. I value our friendship immensely, Leliana and I have been afraid of the idea of telling you how I feel and being wrong that you… might feel the same as I do.” She explained, keeping her attention away from Leliana, fearing that looking upon the bard would make her faint.

“Awina…” Leliana whispered, gently touching her shoulder.

“When I hear your voice, I feel calm. When I look upon you, my heart races and I feel as if I am going to faint. I was very confused, because no other has ever made me feel the way you do but I… I believe I am very much in love with you…?!” Awina replied, her confession cut short as the orlesian woman turned her, tilting her head up and capturing her lips with her own.

The kiss was gentle but passionate, making her head spin with a variety of thoughts and emotions. Leliana noted that despite the liquor she had been drinking, it could not mask the sharp, metallic tang of lyrium on her lips and tongue. The mage’s face is cupped gently between her hands, feeling the heat of her flush nearly burning against her palms. Awina is unsure on how to react, staring wide-eyed at Leliana even as they part, forgetting to breathe for a few seconds before the searing burning need for air reminds her and she inhales sharply, triggering a coughing fit. Leliana can’t help but laugh.

“You precious girl.” Leliana breathes, stroking her fingers along Awina’s scalp, raven locks flowing between her dexterous fingers.

“Maker, that was…” the mage mumbled, still stunned.

“Hopefully, a very clear and concise answer about how I feel about you, Awina. I dared dream you might desire me but your confession has alleviated all my doubts and fears. The flower petals were a nice touch.” Leliana replied with a smirk.

“I was beginning to fear you did not appreciate them.”

“I appreciate them immensely, my love. Hmmm, does that mean I should expect more than flower petals in my bedroll next time?”

Awina’s face turned crimson at the thought, Leliana giggling and leaning in to kiss her again. There was no word she knew that could describe how happy she felt at the turn of events. Leliana loved her, wanted her… Maker, this would actually work! Leliana gasped in surprise when she felt the young woman’s hands slip under the hem of her shirt. She smirked against her lips and pulled Awina up against her body.

“I must confess something.” Leliana said, voice husky.

“W-what?” Awina breathed in response, swallowing nervously as the bard’s breath tickled her ear.

“I purposely kissed you when you rescued me from that demon.” She whispered, hand sliding down and along the curve of her ass.

“W-what?!”

“We should continue our conversation in the Pearl, in our room. The Ferelden docks aren’t really a romantic setting.” Leliana laughed, her warmth pulling away from her.

Awina simply nodded her head in agreement, Leliana taking her hand and lead the way back to the Pearl. They slipped into the room they shared, the bard locking the door behind her so they wouldn’t be disturbed. Being apart for even a few seconds was unbearable and Leliana was drawing Awina to her, lips pressed to the mage’s pulse point, suckling on it as she squirmed. Desire burned like wildfire through them both, hands running under tunics to feel the bare flesh underneath, hot with need. Leliana gave Awina a playful shove towards one of the beds, loosening the ties near her throat so her tunic hung loose around her.

Leliana swiftly closed the gap between them, the mage’s legs around her hips as she sat on the edge of the bed. They kissed, tongues dancing against each other, taking breaths in large gulps when they could manage. Awina moaned softly in anticipation as she felt the fabric of her shirt being rolled up. The bard pushed her onto her back, leaving the woman’s lithe stomach exposed, pressing a kiss to her navel. It took a few seconds before Awain realized Leliana had suddenly stopped. She lifted her head, breathing heavy.

“Is something wrong?” She asked worriedly.

“No, no. You are perfect but I feel we may be moving too swiftly into this.” Leliana replied with a thoughtful sigh, body practically humming with arousal.

“Is that such a bad thing?” Awina asked, sitting up and fixing her tunic.

“Maker, you have no idea how badly I wish to take you right now but a seedy Ferelden brothel is hardly the place for us to consummate our relationship. I would like this moment to be quite memorable for us both. Under the stars, by the light of the campfire... scandalize our companions.” She replied, running her fingers through Awina’s hair again, mirth in her voice.

“Hmm, that sounds much nicer but I think I can come up with a way to not scandalize our dear friends. That could be long wait, however.” Awina sighed, leaning forward to nuzzle her cheek into the crook of the bard’s neck.

“Not long. We have a long trek to the Frostback Mountains. I’m sure there will be plenty of opportunity once we are a safe distance from Denerim.” Leliana replied, leaning down to nuzzle her neck and drink in the mage’s scent.

“Maker, it will be torturous wait.” She mumbled into the bard’s silky hair.

“Mmm, patience is a virtue. I promise the rewards will be worth it, my love.” She purred in her ear.

“You sound like my teachers.” Awina complained.

Leliana laughed, pressing kisses to her lover’s throat, unable to keep her hands off her. The temptation was so great but she kept herself in check. There would be time to partake in her body soon enough. Waiting would be madden but reaping the reward of such patience would be so worth it. They laid on the bed, kissing and nuzzling. They could hear the laughter and merriment going on out in the brothel but neither was bothered to join the rest of them. They, eventually, made their way onto the bed fully, heads resting on the pillows as they lounged in each other’s embrace, Awina’s head settled against the crook of Leliana’s neck.

“This… this is perfect.” Awina muttered with a contented sigh.

“I’ve dreamed of moments like this. We should probably get some rest before it grows too late.” Leliana pointed out, pressing a kissing to the mage’s forehead.

“Nnn, alright. Will you stay or are you going to join the others?”

“As fun as participating in Zevran’s planned debauchery would be, I would rather be with you, in your warm embrace.” Leliana replied sweetly.

“Always know the right thing to say.” Awina laughed.

“Saucy girl. Come, I don’t believe I’ve kissed you nearly enough.”


	10. Curse of the Grey

Chills settled along Awina’s spine the moment they stepped foot on the steps leading up to Soldier’s Peak. The abandon Grey Warden fortress was unsettling to look upon but for her and the other mages of the group, the eerie air ran deeper. The Veil was so severely damaged here; spirits wandered and memories were rooted in the very stone. It was nearly maddening for Awina with her sensitivity to the Fade… maddening to the point where she felt her sanity was going to shatter.

Voices long forgotten and full of pain, sounds of butchery and massacre. When they had stepped into the courtyard, they witnessed King Arland’s forces smashing through the front gate, butchering all that crossed the path of their blades. Innocents from the surrounding areas that had been trapped there by the keep being locked down before the attack were not spared.

“Awina, are you going to be ok?” Alistair asked when he noticed the mage hesitate before the keep itself.

“I… I’ll be okay. Just, mage things.” The young woman replied evasively.

“Something is wrong here. I’ve never felt the Veil so thin here, even at the Circle.” Wynne observed.

Morrigan nodded in agreement as they finished approaching the broken down door into the keep. As soon as Awina crossed the threshold, she screamed as a Grey Warden’s blade was suddenly through her. A gurgling groan surrounded her, a ghost falling to the side before turning into wisps of smoke. Awina felt her heart hammer in her chest as she stared at the memory surging around them, Grey Wardens fighting with futility against the wave of knights. She could hear every dying scream, feel the echo of every blow as if she was being cleaved apart by a thousand blades. She wanted to run away, flee like the coward she knew that she was but how could she? Awina was trapped in this position.

The air within the keep itself was dark and ominous, a cold weight settling on her shoulders. Her blood felt like ice, whispers in the slightest breeze, movement in the shadow or the corner of her eyes. A carnal evil resided here and it only made the unease wrapped around her tighten.

“What is that?” Zevran questioned as they entered a large room at the heart of the keep.

“That can’t be good… it’s all glowy and evil-looking.” Alistair chimed in.

Before them stood a pulsing doorway or a portal. Wynne noted that it was the source of the strange events they had witnessed. The memories, the walking corpses; all caused by this. They cautiously approached, except Awina. She stared at it with what could only be described as horror. Her scream of terror made everyone jump. The vision was the most vivid here, of Sophia and a Grey Warden mage. Grey Warden mages were gathered; blood spilled across the floor from their sacrifices. The ritual ripped the Veil wide open and a Pride Demon surged right at her.

In her panic, Awina threw an ice spell and it merely passed through the spectral form of the demon, dispelling the illusion back into silence. Her companions were all staring at her as she stood there, panting for breath. She hadn’t even realized that her burn mark had flared for a few brief seconds under the fabric of her tunic.

“Awina! Are you ok?!” Leliana called, hurrying to her side.

“What did you see?” Morrigan demanded, ignoring the bard’s glare as Awina regained her composure

“Sophia and the Grey Wardens… they used blood magic to fight King Arland and his men. They… they ripped open the Veil and caused all this damage. She gave the order, killed innocents... and for nothing. They did all this… for nothing.” Awina explained, fear in her voice.

“Practicing blood magic, summoning demons… driven into a corner by that tyrant Arland. The legacy she left for her fore-bearers. Poor Levi is going to be disappointed once we tell him.” Alistair concluded, a hand resting on her shoulder.

“But now we have a problem with this rift. Something’s managed to keep the demons and spirits contained but if we just leave this here, it’ll grow and, eventually, the demons will get loose.” Wynne noted, drawing everyone’s attention back to the proverbial bronto in the room.

Whatever spells and experiments that were performed in Soldier’s Peak had been powerful and radical enough to rip open the Veil. Awina still couldn’t wrap her head around their reasoning. Blood magic was never a solution; it was damnation. Leliana noticed the mage’s worried look, the way the left corner of her lip was tucked under her teeth. They gathered in a spot far from the energies of the rift.

“Theoretically, Awina could close the rift on her own if circumstances were different but that’s not an option for us.” Morrigan quipped, her arms crossed.

“Thanks for the daily reminder, Morrigan.” Awina grumbled sourly.

“It seems our only solution is to search the keep for any surviving records. Maybe the mages left instructions about how they performed the ritual.” Zevran offered with a shrug.

It was the only plan they had to work with, so they split up to search the keep. It was a fairly large place so it would take some time to explore thoroughly and even then, it had been some time since anyone was here. Awina had gone upstairs to see what it looked like. The floor was covered with a thick layer of dust, walls decorated with thick curtains of abandoned cobwebs and rotted tapestries. She could feel lyrium here, faint, but it was there. She poked her head into a few empty rooms until she found the source of the feeling. Cautiously, she opened the door and found herself in an office. An old wood desk sat in the center, bookcases filled with tomes all around. Perhaps the answer they needed was in here, but there was something wrong; she wasn’t alone.

“Visitors… after so many centuries in maddening silence. The lyrium in your blood smells so divine; I can practically taste it.” A menacing, hollow voice calls as a figure steps out of the shadow.

Awina backs away, but the door slams shut behind her. The figure is Sophia Dryden… or at least, what was left of her. She could feel the demonic energy rolling off of her. She must have been possessed and the demon trapped in her decaying body. The cold had practically mummified her, skin pale and drawn taut over her bones, decorated with black veins. Her eyes were completely white, lips cracked. A chill ran down Awina’s spine as she stared at the abomination before her.

“You… no, you’re not Commander Dryden. You killed her.”

“I came to her in her hour of need though her cause was already doomed. Pride was her downfall though that damnable mage sealed this place so I couldn’t escape.” The demon grumbled angrily.

“Avernus must have… you will never escape this keep. We’ll destroy you.” Awina threatened.

“You could, but then you would be without a solution for the rift. I can help you seal it, provided you allow me to escape.”

“Hell no! I would never lose a demon upon Ferelden for any reason.” She protested, back bumping into the door.

“You don’t have much choice, mageling. Even with the other two mages with you, you don’t have the strength or knowledge to repair the Veil properly. I have what you need and I am not asking for much. Surely you’re not that naïve?” The demon drawled, leaning on the desk.

“I do not make deals with demons or abominations.”

Sophia gnashed her teeth and Awina didn’t even have a second to react before she was thrown through the door in a shower of splinters. Her back hit the cold stone floor, staff gone from her hand. She must have hit her head, because her vision swung in and out of focus as she laid there, trying to get her bearings. She could hear armored footfalls approaching her and rolled, trying to pull herself up. She yelped when Sophia slammed her foot down on her back, pinning her to the floor.

“If you will not give me freedom than I shall use your blood to break the spell that traps me here!” The abomination snarled, bending to pick her up by the back of her neck.

Despite the desiccated condition of the corpse, the demon was still strong enough to slam her into the floor. She felt the taste of blood fill her mouth, Sophia’s grasp lifting for a brief moment before tangling painfully in her hair and yanking her bloodied face up.

“This will not be quick or painless… I will enjoy squeezing every last drop of blood from your veins.” The abomination snarled.

Awina gritted her bloodied teeth and twisted her arm, throwing an arc of lightning right at Sophia’s face. The demon screeched as it let go of her. The mage hurried to her feet, seeing her staff on the far side of the room. Casting spells was going to take longer and more effort. Instead, she ran for the stairs, hoping to get to the rest of her companions and warn them. Sophia snarled and ran after her, painfully grabbing her arm and throwing Awina back onto the floor.

“You are not escaping me!!”

The kick knocked the wind out of her lungs and rolled her onto her back. Awina tried to cast another spell but without a medium, it was harder to focus even a simple spell. Sophia bowed and grabbed her by the throat with both hands and slammed her into the floor. Awina whimpered as her head hit the stones, ear set to ringing.

“Awina!” Alistair shouted, having come up the stairs to check on her.

Sophia hissed as Alistair charged, drawing his sword. His shield collided with her, sending the abomination flying a few feet and rolling across the floor. He bent to help Awina up to her feet, shield arm around her.

“Maker! Shouldn’t have let you come up here alone.” Alistair said worriedly, seeing all the blood on her face and robes.

“Be careful. It’s an abomination.” Awina warned.

“Get the others. I’ll keep this monster busy.”

Awina ran down the stairs, shouting for her companions. Maxis heard her first, barks echoing around the empty keep and alerting everyone else. Leliana panicked when she saw the blood all over Awina.

“Maker, what happened?  Where’s Alistair?” Wynne asked worriedly when she noticed the second warden missing.

“Abomination upstairs. It got the better of me and Alistair interfered.” She said, purposely avoiding the witch’s gaze.

Without discussing it further, the group ran up to the second floor. Alistair had easily held his own against Sophia and now the demon was outnumbered. Again, it tried to bargain with them but no one listened and the demon was slain. All that was left of the once proud Warden Commander Sophia Dryden was her armor and a pile of dust as the corpse dissolved.

”Sophia damned herself. To have fallen so far...” Leliana sighed worriedly.

“The abomination is dealt with, but we still have the problem of the rift. If the damage is left unattended, it won’t be much longer before the demons break through whatever is holding them here.” Morrigan observed.

Zevran had gone to rummage around Sophia’s office, hoping to find anything of use, but there wasn’t much… and nothing that could help them reverse the damage she had caused to the Veil. There was only one more place to look. As a group, they headed for the tower, the only area of the abandoned keep they had yet to explore. The bridge connecting the tower to the keep riddled with traps, but Zevran and Leliana quickly took care of them. The door wasn’t locked when they entered what appeared to be a study. Dusty tomes and faded parchments crammed into every bookcase and covering every table and counter. There were glass instruments and other equipment, long abandoned.

“This looks like a research lab. Perhaps we’ll find something useful to assist us with the rift in the Veil.” Wynne observed.

They spread out and searched through the dust and cobwebs. Awina was drawn to the curious glass instruments, most she had never seen before. There were parchments spread all over the place, likely notes and such made during whatever research was being conducted here. The stale air smelled of dust and something else… familiar but a mystery all at the same time. As she searched, she came across something unusual, well, it appeared strange to the rest of the mess. There was a small, leather-bound journal with a vial filled with a black liquid tied to it. It looked important… important enough for her to take a peek.

She found an old crate to sit on and started flipping through the pages. The script was, surprisingly, still intact and she found herself engrossed in it. It was a journal that belonged to Avernus and detailed his research and experiments. He had been studying the Blight, driven by…

“Maker…” Awina muttered to herself, closing the journal and stuffing it in her bag, getting up to search for Alistair.

“Awina, did you find anything?” He asked when she found him.

“Nothing related to the ritual they used but… I need to talk to you. Privately.” She replied, nervously looking around to ensure none of their companions were near before dragging him to a secluded, dark corner.

“How much about the Grey Wardens did Duncan tell you when he recruited you?” Awina asked anxiously.

“A little history, that we fight the Blight and all that.” He replied with a shrug.

“Nothing else?”

“No. Did you find something, Awina?” Alistair asked worriedly.

“Yes… something Duncan kept from us. I found a journal written by Avernus. He was researching the Blight and… Maker, Alistair, the Blight is killing us.” She replied, eyes starting to water.

“What?! Killing us?”

“Avernus described the Joining as some unrefined process of making Wardens. It’s still Darkspawn blood, just only, the poisonous effects are slowed, not stopped. A Grey Warden’s strength comes at a cost. The Blight drives them mad.” Awina explained to him.

“Let me see that journal.”

Awina dug it out of her pack and showed the page to Alistair. She had removed the vial and carefully hid it in her bag so no-one would find it. The journal had also described what was in the vial, an accumulation of Avernus’s research. The color drained from his face as he read the last entry in the journal. They stared at each other, confusion and worry mirrored in their expressions.

“This… this can’t be real, can it Alistair?” Awina mumbled.

“I, don’t know. Duncan never… Maker, why would he not tell me after I took my Joining? So, we’re just going to be driven mad at some point in the future? That’s a great thing to look forward to.” He sighed, trying to lighten the mood with a half-assed joke.

“Should… should we tell the others?”

“No. If they know, it could complicate things. We should look into this ourselves, educate ourselves properly about the Order. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of stumbling around in the dark.”

They rejoined with the others, but neither spoke of what they had learned. Leliana noticed the anxious look in Awina’s silver eyes and told herself to ask the mage what was bothering her once this matter was settled. They moved deeper into the tower and found Avernus, alive. Though Awina understood how he remained alive, it was still a complete shock to find the Grey Warden mage living and breathing. He knew how to close the rift and had been the one to create the barrier spell that trapped the demons and spirits here, but he hadn’t done it himself because he was just one man. With some convincing, Avernus agreed to help them repair the damage and expel the last of the demons.

Once the damage to the Veil was repaired and the last of the demons destroyed, an air of calm settled over Soldier’s Peak. There was the matter, however, of deciding what to do with Avernus. Alistair and Awina both drew him away from the others to discuss the harsh truth they discovered earlier.

“Yes. Darkspawn blood is still poison. We can hear them and the Arch Demon because of it but, as the poison lingers, it consumes you. You’ll start hearing the song get louder and louder. This is what the Grey Wardens refer to as the Calling; that our time has come to enter the Deep Roads.” Avernus confirmed for them.

“Maker…” Awina muttered, corner of her bottom lip caught under her teeth.

“If I understand you both correctly, the Grey Warden order is all but destroyed here in Ferelden. You two are the only ones left?” the old mage asked.

“Yep, no thanks to Loghain.” Alistair replied.

“Then which of you is the Warden-Commander?”

“Warden-Commander? You mean like Sophia was? Well… neither of us leads. We know very little about the Grey Wardens.” Awina replied after sharing a look with Alistair.

“One of you surely must lead the Wardens, especially if you succeed in slaying the Arch Demon. But, I suppose that is something you two must discuss later. I am at your mercy.” Avernus said, his voice hollow.

Alistair and Awina had discussed what to do with him a little bit earlier. Alistair felt it might be safer to execute him, but Awina wasn’t as confident. What had happened here and his research, it was appalling but now knowing some details about the Wardens, Awina saw value in his research. If Avernus had managed to slow the Blight from killing him then… maybe there was a way to cure the poisonous effects.

“I’m honestly not sure what to do with him, Awina. He committed so many crimes but at the same time… he was trying to help save the lives of Wardens.” Alistair sighed, second guessing himself.

“His research is appalling and I think he was doing this research for himself, but he found a way to slow it. Given more time, Avernus might be able to cure the lethal effects entirely.” Awina replied, looking equally undecided.

“So… do we spare him?”

After debating it with themselves and between each other, they rejoined their companions. Avernus stood apart from them, waiting for judgment. Though it was never officially decided, Awina could feel everyone’s attention on her, waiting for her to make the choice. Like it or not, since Lothering, she was the leader of the entourage. The young mage took a deep breath and faced Avernus.

“Warden Avernus, I don’t know how the Grey Wardens handle affairs like this but, honestly, neither Alistair nor myself are comfortable with supporting or condoning what you’ve done. Desperation drove Sophia but summoning demons and damaging the Veil is unforgivable. I’ve seen some of your research, though, and it could greatly benefit the Grey Wardens in the future… even as appalling as it is.” Awina announced, wringing her hands together lightly in front of her.

“I see. Hmmm, it will be interesting to see how the Grey Wardens of Ferelden grow under your guidance, Warden-Commander Awina. I shall stay here and continue my research and atone for what I’ve done. Your mercy is surprising.” Avernus replied, looking oddly relieved.

Awina didn’t dare look at her friends as they left to inform Levi of what had happened. He was sorely disappointed to learn the ill-fate of his grandmother but now, Soldier’s Peak was free. He and his brother would stay here and try to get the place tidied up though that was a lot of work for two men to do… especially with winter approaching.

Camp was quiet that evening. It was nice to be out of the weather, but they still had to have a large fire to stave off the cold. Not even Morrigan bothered Awina about tutoring. Leliana noticed the young mage had a somber expression on her face and went over to talk to her.

“Are you alright, mi amore?” The bard asked, sitting down next to her.

“I’m just… trying to process everything that happened. I know I didn’t know much about the Grey Wardens but… Maker, I feel like I understand less and less lately.” The mage sighed wearily.

“I am sorry Awina. It’s a lot of responsibility you and Alistair bear. Perhaps, now that the Circle Tower is in better shape, we can do some research when we reach the lake? Perhaps we’ll learn more about the Grey Wardens.” Leliana offered.

“It wouldn’t hurt but would we have time? We want to reach the foot of the Frostback Mountains before the heavy snows start.”

“We shall see when we get there. Are you going to be ok?”

“Eventually. Avernus called me Warden-Commander… the title Sophia Dryden bore. I’m not a leader, Leliana. I can barely guide this group, let alone be expected to rebuild an entire order I know next to nothing about. Alistair’s got more backbone than me.” Awina sighed.

“Oh, don’t say that. You are just as brave as any of us. It’s ok to be afraid at times but that is part of being human. You would shed blood for us as we would for you, even Sten and Morrigan.” The bard offered in encouragement, hand on her shoulder.

“How am I supposed to lead? Sophia was willing to sacrifice her very soul… spit in the face of the Chantry and did the forbidden, just to serve the Grey Wardens. Maybe she only did it for herself in the end but… how would I ever be able to make decisions like that when it matters? I couldn’t do it before…” The mage sighed, looking stressed and crestfallen.

Leliana wanted to wrap her arms around her and kiss her until that warm smile came back to those silver eyes and lush, pink lips. However, in such closed quarters, displaying such affections would immediately give them away to their friends. Leliana had no qualms about keeping their relationship a secret but some days, it was maddening to resist the urge clawing inside her heart… especially when the corner of her bottom lip was caught under her teeth.

“Awina, stop that.” Leliana whispered to her, leaning in closer.

“Stop what?”

“Biting your lip. You look so… appetizing when you do that.” The bard purred, breath tickling the shell of her ear.

Awina flushed pink, Leliana giggling as she pulled away so it wouldn’t look suspect to the rest of the party. The important thing was she was smiling again and that always warmed Leliana. There would be time for more intimate affections, away from prying eyes, soon enough.


	11. Doorsteps of Faith

It wasn’t the frigid air that enveloped the village that was making her shake so much though it was part of the reason. Even with the cloak she wore around her shoulders, like most of her companions, it did little to ward off the chill seeping into her very bones. The atmosphere was ominous and downright creepy. Maxis kept close to Awina, lips quivering in a faint growl. There was definitely something wrong with the village of Haven, but no one was sure what it was. No children played in the street and the guard they met had grown very hostile until he saw her. For some reason, he suddenly decided to let them through.

“Something is not right about this place,” Wynne mumbled, barely loud enough for them to hear.

“I suggest you keep your thoughts quiet. We do not wish to give cause for them to harm us.” Morrigan warned.

They entered a shop to see what supplies the village had, but it wasn’t much. This place was so isolated, it was like it was trapped in time, a more archaic form of Ferelden. The shopkeeper watched them suspiciously and got even more nervous when Maxis lurked too close to the back room. Heeding Morrigan’s warning, they left the shop and went back to the village square. Awina felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end, feeling the weight of eyes upon her and the rest of them. They didn’t see anyone however and the village appeared abandoned. Maybe brother Genetivi was wrong.

“The road appears to continue up towards the mountains. Perhaps Brother Genetivi passed through and left more clues further up.” Zevran suggested, pointing out the path to them.

“It’s better than standing around here. This place is creepy.” Alistair commented with a shrug.

The path wound up the back of the village and bent to the right of a massive Chantry. At least, it looked like a Chantry though nothing about the architecture matched the one she had seen in Lothering and Redcliffe. It was much older, before the reformation of the Chantry to modernize it. This was a surviving relic of earlier time and, if she had to be honest with herself, she was a bit fascinated by it. Maxis barked, head cocked to the side as if he was listening.

“Do you hear something?” Awina asked as she knelt down, hand on the mabari’s back.

“Singing. I hear singing coming from the Chantry. Perhaps that is where most of the village is. It sounds like they are singing a hymn.” Leliana confirmed, having taken the dog’s cue.

Cautiously, they approached the Chantry. There weren’t any guards posted and the door was unlocked. Leliana and Zevran slipped in first, with the rest of the group following behind them. Shale hung outside, mostly because the golem was a bit too large to get through the door without ripping it out from the wall. The congregation was absorbed in the unknown hymn they were singing. The melody was hauntingly beautiful, but the words were different from any verse of the Chant of Light Awina knew. There was an elderly looking man leading the congregation, dressed in what appeared to be Chantry robes and holding a staff. Though it wasn’t unusual for men to serve in the Chantry, if Awina had to make a guess, he must hold a title on par with that of a Revered Mother. Their eyes met for a moment and his widened as if he recognized her and immediately called for the congregation to stop.

“Outsiders are not welcome… but, brothers and sisters, the Maker finally answers our prayers! Rejoice for he has sent us a daughter! Our vanguard and Herald!” He exclaimed, quickly approaching them.

Awina took a step back and Alistair’s hand immediately went to the hilt of his sword, but Morrigan warned him to not do anything brash. Dark eyes looked at her and she could feel the weight of the congregation staring at her, but she didn’t know why. An uncomfortable shiver raced down her back, stomach twisting into a churning knot.

“Blood of our beloved, I am Revered Father Eirik. You… you are to be her voice! Andraste has blessed her faithful once more with a sign that we must carry out her work at long last!” he preached, Awina recoiling as he reached out to her.

“Get away from me!” She snapped at him, surprising him.

“Ah… but you are still an outsider. You do not yet know our ways. You are tainted by the filth you were born into, but Andraste will cleanse you. You will be tested by her flames and reborn as she has!”

“These people are crazy!” Alistair cried out, drawing his blade, shield at the ready.

“Save the Daughter of Andraste and slay the heathens! Their flesh and bones will feed our beloved and her children!” Eirik ordered.

The villagers suddenly drew weapons from their clothes, small knives and rusted swords. Eirik himself was a mage, raising up his staff as he backed away a fair distance to cast his spells. Though they had the advantage of numbers, few of the villagers possessed any skill in combat. Leliana and Alistair shielded Awina as much as they could, the stone floor slicked with blood. The zealots kept throwing themselves at them, all their attention focused on their one order; separating Awina from her companions. Caught between her friend and lover, Awina found it difficult to perform her spells accurately.

None of them saw the villager, bleeding from a nasty cut across his chest left by Alistair’s blade, struggling to his feet and staggering towards them with a knife raised. His shriek was the only thing she had heard before he lunged forward, sinking the blade into the gap in Alistair’s armor between breastplate and pauldron. He cried out and stumbled forward, falling to one knee. She screamed as bloodied hands grabbed her and yanked her way from him, Alistair struggling to turn. Leliana caught wind of the commotion and spun, the blade sinking into the man’s side, right between his ribs. Eirik took the opportunity to rush forward and grab Awina, a strong arm around her throat, her back pressed against his chest. He grabbed her arm with his free hand and twisted it behind her back to minimize her struggling.

“Stop!” Wynne shouted, shoving aside a wounded villager.

The fighting slowed, most of the congregation dead or dying slowly in a massive pool of blood and warm bodies. Eirik stood alone, Awina trapped in his grasp. She struggled and thrashed, stepping on his toes and kicking his shins, but he held firm, wildfire in his eyes.

“Sacrilege!! You will all pay for your blasphemy. You have spilled the blood of Andraste’s children on sacred ground! Once the Daughter of Andraste has been returned to her, this world will be cleansed in fire!!” He screamed, spittle flecking against Awina’s cheek.

Leliana’s hands immediately went for her bow and quiver but the way the Revered Father held her, the risk of hitting her instead of him was too great. Slowly, she lowered her arm, daggers still in her grasp. Alistair was the closest, his sword arm low from the knife still stuck in his back. He started backing away, heading for the back door of the Chantry. Awina saw it when she chanced a glance back and panic gripped her tighter, the speed of her beating heart increasing. She scratched his arm, hit him wherever she could, begging as tears stung her eyes to be let go. Eirik was raving about Andraste, his voice drowning out her pleas. Dozens of scenarios raced through her mind as he continued to pull her back, heels digging into the blood-slicked stone.

“Let her go!” Alistair demanded, shuffling forward to close the distance.

“Back!! I do not wish to spill the Daughter’s blood, but I will if I must!” He warned, only a few feet left before he could reach the door.

Her mind raced in a blind panic, this scenario frighteningly familiar to her. She felt something cold and solid in her hand, looking down to see she had managed to form an icicle without even thinking about it. The narrow point was sharp enough to pierce through the cloth. All she had to do was cut him… hurt him in some manner to force the man to let her go. With a panicked cry, Awina swung her arm around, the shard of ice digging deep into something. Eirik screamed and shoved her away, blood spurting from the open hole in his neck before he could press his hands to it to stem the bleeding. Awina regained her footing as she faced him, the liquid heat against her face.  She stared in stunned silence as blood poured from underneath his hands, staining his robes dark. His skin was rapidly going pale, body shaking as it struggled to hold on to fleeting strength.

“Andraste’s… beloved… why…” He gasped, blood frothing in his mouth as he staggered towards her, collapsing onto the floor.

Awina couldn’t move her gaze as she watched the life fade from his eyes. There was a high pitched sound in her ears, drowning out all else aside from the thundering pulse of her heart. The scar on her right arm started to burn and she squeezed her eyes shut for just a moment, breath coming in shallow pants. When she opened them again, Eirik wasn’t there but in his place was the form of another mage, flesh twisted and burning, green eyes staring at her in the same way; desperate and dying.

“Mary!”

The young mage suddenly bolted, shoving past Alistair before he could grab her. Maxis barked and chased after his mistress, Zevran and Leliana giving chase since Alistair was unable to in his condition. The cold air was a sharp contrast to the heat of fresh blood on her face and soaked into her robes. She wanted to get away from those eyes… the look of death staring into her very soul. She had killed someone, again. Not with magic but her bare hands. The blood… so much blood… so caught up in the panicked thoughts she didn’t see the tree root and tripped, falling to the ground.

“Awina!” Leliana called, sliding down to one knee and wrapping her arms around the young woman as she screamed and cried.

It had taken a few minutes before Awina calmed into broken, choked sobs. Blood was streaked across her face and matted in some of her hair. Her legs wouldn’t move, so Leliana scooped her up bridal style and carried her to a barn further up the path. Zevran was with her, finding a cot and blankets so they could lay her down. Awina was trembling like a frightened child, mumbling incoherently.

“I’ll get the others. Hopefully, the rest of the village has not tried to waylay our companions. Look after her Leliana… she needs you.” The elf told her before leaving.

Leliana pursed her lips together, hand resting on Awina’s shoulder as she tried to think of some method of coaxing her out of her shock. The left side of her face was smeared with blood and her robes ruined. She needed to get her cleaned up so the bard got up and fetched a handful of snow from outside. When she returned, she helped Awina up into a sitting position and used the ice to clean the blood from her face and hair. Her mumbling had stopped, but her lips twitched as if she were still speaking. Right before she had bolted, Leliana had heard her call a distinct name. Did killing Eirik remind her of something? She wasn’t sure and in her state, it was unlikely she would get any details from her right now.

The rest of the group arrived later, but not even Morrigan could snap her out of her shock. Wynne expressed they would have to wait a while and they needed rest so she could finish tending to Alistair’s injuries. Morrigan and Zevran setup a fire-pit to ward off the cold and start cooking an early meal. Once the food was ready, Leliana fetched a bowl for herself and Awina but she just sat there in numb silence. She didn’t even acknowledge the bowl of food the bard set beside her.

“Awina… you should eat.” Leliana said in a soft voice, gently taking her hand.

Awina didn’t say anything, just kept staring at the floor and shivering despite the blanket wrapped around her to keep her warm. Leliana sighed, Maxis whining worriedly as he rested his head on her lap and gave her hand a gentle lick. She wishes she had a spare set of clothes for her to change into. Staring at those blood-soaked robes looked so wrong on her. Leliana gave her a gentle smile, setting the bowl down for Maxis to eat so she could sit beside her. The silence dragged on for what felt like hours. Awina could feel her companions staring at her, the weight of their collective gazes felt like insects crawling across her skin.

“Mary…” she mumbled, Leliana barely catching the hoarse whisper.

“Awina?”

“Before… there was a girl named Mary. I… remember pieces, little pieces.” Awina said, her gaze lifting a little and wringing her hands together in agitation.

“Who is Mary?”

“I don’t know... she had green eyes,” She replied, lashes glistening with unshed tears.

“Was she someone from the Circle?” Leliana pressed, resting a hand over Awina’s knee, leaning close to hear her soft voice more clearly.

“Before the Circle. Somewhere near home… I… I think I killed her. Just like I killed that man.”

Tears spilled from her eyes and Awina buried her face in her hands, her sobs muffled. A pained look crossed the bard’s face and she moved her hand, wrapping her arm around the back of Awina’s shoulders and pulling her lover to her. The smell of blood still hung over her, but she needed comfort right now. They had all been swept up in a horrible event.

“It’s ok, you were protecting yourself.” Leliana cooed gently.

“Eyes… his eyes. I… I can still feel them staring at me. He looked like I… like I had betrayed him. Like, Mary… she had the same look. Maker, what did I do?” Awina whimpered, pulling the blanket tighter around herself.

Before Leliana could think of responding, she heard the soft crunch of hay under boots and looked up to see that Morrigan was approaching them, something tucked under one arm. Those yellow eyes narrowed slightly, but the usual judgmental sting in their gaze was replaced with an unusually soft look of empathy. Awina lifted her gaze when the witch cleared her throat and held out the bundle that had been tucked under her arm.

“You should change clothes. I had purchased these in Denerim for you and… never found the right time to give them to you, Awina. These will do a better job of keeping you warm.” Morrigan said, dropping the bundle in her lap before leaving.

Awina stared at the witch’s retreating back before looking down at the gift she had given her. She could feel Leliana watching as she untied the twine holding it together and a mass of soft fabric and leather unfurled. It was an outfit consisting of dark, soft leather breeches, a warm tunic dyed a soft gray, a matching pair of hide boots and a leather jerkin. A light came back to those silver eyes as she looked at the gift in her lap.

“Morrigan… bought me a gift?” She mumbled, surprised by the gesture.

“It would seem so. Why don’t you go put them on? They look quite warm.” Leliana encouraged her, a small smile touching her lips.

She was glad to see some joy return to the mage as she gathered up the clothes in her arms and stood, wandering to a livestock stall to change. There was a soft glow from behind the wall but after a couple of minutes of what sounded like struggling, Awina called out for Leliana. The bard got up, Maxis following behind her. Immediately, she noticed the mage’s hands were shaking pretty badly and she had teared up again.

“Awina! Are you ok?” Leliana asked worriedly, cupping her face between her hands.

“The…. His blood,” She mumbled.

Eirik’s blood had soaked through the fabric of her worn robes, completely ruining it. She must have freaked out when trying to undress. They were out of sight from their companions, so she pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

“I am here. Let’s get this off you.” The bard told her in a soothing timbre, fingers finding the ties to her robes.

Awina stood still as Leliana undressed her, wincing as she felt the blood-soaked fabric peel off her skin. It was relieving to have the fabric off her, but the loss of protective warmth was quickly replaced by the stinging chill of the night. Leliana noticed the blood had soaked through Awina’s breast binding. She pursed her lips, then hurried back to her pack to grab the spare one she kept with her. When she came back, Awina had a blanket wrapped around herself, Maxis looking pleased with himself.

“Good boy Maixs. Here, you can borrow my breast binding until we can get you a new one. It’s a little big but… I’ll make it work.” Leliana told her as she unlaced the tie on her side.

Once the blood-soaked clothing had been removed, Leliana took a moment to look at her, having never seen Awina this bare before. Her skin was much paler than the tan on her face and hands. She was nearly flawless, aside from the puckered scars that marked where arrows had pierced her. She remembered the story about how Flemeth had saved them at Ostagar when the Darkspawn nearly killed her and Alistair. Thank the Maker she had crossed this beautiful woman’s path. The moment lingered for too long and she noticed those silver eyes staring at her with a mixed expression.

“S-sorry Awina. I… here, let’s get you covered up before you catch a chill.” She mumbled in embarrassment, wrapping the breast binding around her chest, making some temporary adjustments so it fit better.

“It’s fine. I… I suppose we should have taken that opportunity at the Pearl, huh?” Awina said, lifting her arm so Leliana had more room to secure the tie.

“Perhaps. I am a patient woman. There, is that comfortable?” the bard replied softly.

“Yes, thank you Leliana.”

Awina pulled on the new clothes, leaving the bloodied mess of her robes and boots off to the side. She didn’t want to even look at them or acknowledge they existed. Eirik begging, staring at her as if she had committed a great betrayal against him. The same look Mary had in her eyes but why? What did she do to make another look at her like that? Granted, Eirik was a raving lunatic who claimed she was the daughter of Andraste or something, but Awina just couldn’t shake the feeling of déjà vu that pressed upon her. Something similar had happened before, but the details were still shrouded in a hazy shadow. Her memory was broken and out of her reach. That frustrated her a great deal the more she thought about it. Leliana noticed the scowl on her face and placed a hand on her shoulder, pressing a kiss to the mage’s forehead.

“Let us return to the fire. It has been a long day and you need rest.” Leliana said, slipping her hand into the mage’s own.

“I… don’t think I can sleep tonight. Whenever I close my eyes, I see him dying… I see Mary dying and it scares me. I know I’ve killed people before but this… this is different.” She said, the shake returning to her hands yet again.

“It will be ok. I will sing for you to keep the nightmares away, Awina.”

* * *

 

Their journey through the ruins was, wholly, routine. Genetivi was unable to accompany them due to the injury to his leg, but he instructed them on using the key had and what to expect. It seemed Haven was home to an ancient Andrastian cult who had turned into dragon worshippers at some point. The ruins appeared to be their main base, with drakes fighting by their side.

Everything appeared to pass in a blur for Awina, mind still distant as she tried to cope with Father Eirik’s death. She had attempted to sleep, but not even Leliana’s voice and warmth could keep away the fragmented memories. A girl with green eyes, screams of pain… blood everywhere. Her nerves were frayed from the lack of sleep and constant fighting. They came to the end of their journey, however, as their path through the ruins ended in what appeared to be some kind of hall or amphitheater and there was only one lone occupant here. He was dressed in heavy armor, leaning a slight amount of his weight forward on his sword.

“The trespassers finally arrive. How does it feel to slaughter innocents?” He growled, straightening his posture.

“They attacked us! You all are lunatics.” Alistair snapped back, drawing his sword.

The man regarded them darkly, lips curled in a scowl. Awina could feel when his eyes fell upon her and saw the same look Eirik had given her. She shrank behind Alistair as the man picked up his sword and stepped down the stairs until he was level with them.

“You… she has sent us a blessing at long last. Her Herald comes to us to usher in a new dawn for Thedas! Leave these heathens and join us, as you were meant to. You shall witness her might reborn form and help us cleanse this world of its sin!” He announced, holding his hand out to her.

“Andraste is dead. You worship a fraud!” Leliana shouted at him, arrow notched to her bow.

“Silence! You have no place to speak here, only her. Despite her mighty form, Andraste is forgiving and she will overlook the transgression of slaughtering her children if you perform a penance.” Kolgrim offered, his attention focused solely on Awina.

“You can take your offer and shove it!” She declared.

Kolgrim’s scowl grew darker and his answer to her response was to draw his blade and charge. Shale immediately stepped in front and blocked him, though the man walloped the golem enough to make it slide back a few inches. Kolgrim was strong and despite being out-numbered, he kept that at bay. He shrugged off spells, likely due to his armor being enchanted and the strength of his blows were tearing Alistair’s shield apart. Leliana’s arrows could not find their mark among the chaos and Zevran was unable to get close enough to take advantage with his poisons.

It took an overwhelming assault from both Sten and Shale to make Kolgrim falter. The qunari charged, swinging his blade in a flurry of blows that forced Kolgrim into a retreat, the ring of metal echoing through the hall. Each time he staggered, Shale would charge with a strike, forcing the man to block it. Eventually, his luck ran out as Shale’s fist broke through his blade and hit him square in the chest. His armor caved with a loud crunch and Kolgrim was sent flying several feet back before crashing into the stairs. He coughed blood as he got to his feet, glaring at them angrily.

“I am not so easily defeated! Andraste’s blood gives me strength!” He shouted as he pulled a vial from his belt and downed the contents, blood smeared in his beard and down his dented chest plate.

New vigor took hold of Kolgrim as he lunged to his feet and rushed at them, tackling Sten and wrestling his sword from the qunari’s grip. There was a maddened glee in his eyes that made chills race down Awina’s back. Maxis lunged and clamped his jaws around Kolgrim’s arm, throwing off his swing and enabling Sten to shove the man off him. The mabari yelped as the crazed zealot punched him in the ribs and sent the dog skidding across the blood spattered stones with a single swing of his arm. Despite his wounds, he was fighting even more viciously than before. The amount of blood everywhere was making Awina feel queasy, breaking her concentration

“For Andraste!” Kolgrim screamed as he slammed his shoulder into Alistair’s battered shield, sending the Warden crashing to the ground.

“Alistair!” Awina called, suddenly snapped out of her stupor as Kolgrim was attempting to beat Alistair to death.

The spell she slung at him threw Kolgrim back, several shards of ice pierced through him and his armor. Kolgrim coughed up blood, struggling to get back on his feet despite his wounds. With his strength spent, Kolgrim lay there dying. He couldn’t even speak, each time he exhaled blood bubbled out of his mouth. One of the ice shards had pierced his chest, likely puncturing his lung. No one had any remorse for him, but Awina found she couldn’t look away. Unlike Father Eirik, who looked at her as if she betrayed him, Kolgrim looked at her as if he were proud. He died with a smile on his face.

“Crazy to the end. Now, we just have a dragon to deal with.” Morrigan stated as Zevran carefully checked the pulse to ensure he was dead.

“Maker, never fought someone so strong. What the hell did he drink?” Alistair groaned, wincing as his shield arm was still incredibly sore.

“If I had to hazard a guess, dragon’s blood. It’s been documented on giving the consumer increased strength and stamina.” Wynne answered.

Leliana noticed Awina was just staring at him, even when Maxis limped over to her side. Wynne drew the dog away to tend to his injuries as the bard approached, placing a hand on her shoulder. The mage stirred slightly but didn’t look away.

“His faith was so strong, he wouldn’t give up. He really believed Andraste was reborn as a dragon.” She mumbled.

“Kolgrim was a mad man,” Leliana told her.

“But… his faith drove him to this, Leliana. To him and the rest of Haven… we were the lunatics. We disrupted their lives and brought chaos and death with us.”

“Awina, that’s…”

“We better get moving. The temple is just across the way and it looks like the dragon isn’t home.” Zevran called, having gone ahead to scout.

Awina was already moving away from her and Leliana’s heart twisted in worry. She knew being with her last night did not bring much comfort, but the woman seemed like she was falling deeper and deeper into the pit of despair. Alistair matched stride with her, having noticed as well.

“Is Awina going to be okay? I know she’s still pretty shaken up about earlier but the way she was staring at Kolgrim…” He started to say, unable to finish saying what he was thinking.

“I know. I worry this journey may break her before the end.”


	12. Facing the Broken Past

A harsh wind blew across the chasm between the two halves of the temple, flurries of snow dusting the crumbling pillars that lined the path. Zevran had already scouted ahead to assure their way was clear, but the group was tense regardless. Mad, religious zealots had tried to kill them the moment they started on this path, so much blood left in their wake. Now, they were encroaching upon the inner sanctum of the High Dragon’s domain. The chasm was, oddly, quiet for a dragon’s lair. It appeared Zevran was right, the beast was not here and the way, for now, was clear and safe.

Awina didn’t feel safe, though. This quest wasn’t supposed to be so complicated, so… bloodied. Rest had not come easy after fighting Father Kolgrim and even now, in her exhaustion, she dared not close her eyes. She could still feel the sticky warmth of Erik's blood on her face and hands, Kolgrim’s proud smile as he breathed his last. Every detail burned into her, taunting her whenever there was a spare moment for her mind to wander and fixate on it. Awina’s heart hammered against her chest, anxiety taking hold as she felt as if the world was slipping out from underneath her and she would fall into nothing.

Getting to the ashes, however, proved to be just as complicated. This part of the temple seemed to have remained untouched by the cultists, likely because of the powerful energies here. The Veil was so thin, Awina was sure they could walk into the Fade without much effort. Standing in the hall, barring the way to a pair of double doors nearly shrouded in the dark shadows cast by the torches, was a man in armor much like Kolgrim’s. However, he did not draw his blade against them like the others, only talked, greeting them in turn.

“You have traveled far, Blood of Andraste. There is much suffering in your past; your suffering and the suffering of others. You come because you seek answers, not just the Ashes of Andraste.” He said eyes focused on her.

“Blood of Andraste? The cultists were saying Daughter of Andraste… why do you call her that?” Alistair asked, stepping in front of her as if to shield Awina.

“Son of Maric. You wish you had been in the field to shield Duncan from the blow that claimed him.” The Guardian replied to him, completely ignoring the question.

“I… it should have been me who didn’t survive that massacre. Duncan was the leader of the Grey Wardens and we’d be better off if he were here instead.” Alistair replied with his eyes downcast and a slump to his shoulders.

“That doesn’t answer the question. Why do you and the cultists keep referring to me as some kind of chosen of Andraste?” Awina asked.

“Do you regret betraying Jowan, knowing that your actions not only put him in grave danger but took away the one thing that mattered to him most in this world? You destroyed his happiness out of jealousy.” He countered.

Before Awina answered, Morrigan stepped in. The Guardian did not seem bothered by her interruption, only posing her with a question about her greatest regret. He did the same to the rest of the group though Shale was not questioned, only a comment of respect. He went on to explain the Disciples of Andraste, how they were charged with protecting this holy place. When the High Dragon had claimed this area, they believed Andraste had returned to them and started to worship the dragon. The Guardian stood vigilant, claiming his duty was not finished.

“Enough of this. You have done nothing but waste our time, Guardian, while avoiding our questions.” Morrigan huffed in annoyance.

“The Temple will test your will and faith, deem if you are worthy to look upon Andraste’s final resting place. Succeed and you will find what you seek. Fail and this place will become your tomb as well.” The Guardian explained, his attention shifting back to Awina.  “You are distilled from an ancient lineage that has remained dormant. Many claim ancestries to the Maker’s Beloved but you… you are the first in generations to bear the strength of her bloodline. You are her rebirth.”

“First, Alistair turns out to be the bastard son of Maric and now we’ve come to find that Awina is a pure descendant of Andraste herself. Perhaps one of us will turn out to be the Maker next?” Morrigan retorted sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

“Blasphemer,” Leliana growled at the witch.

“Think what you will but I only speak the truth. Endure the trials if you wish to see the answers for yourselves.” He replied, stepping aside and gesturing to the closed path ahead.

Awina swallowed the lump in her throat as the great pair of doors swung open. Beyond seemed to lay total darkness. Alistair gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder to reassure her confidence, but she was scared regardless. No one moved, glances being exchanged as the group seemed to be, silently, deciding what to do. At first, Shale and Sten both were unenthused about participating in what the qunari called a ‘pointless distraction’ but it wasn’t exactly safe for the two of them to stay here. The Guardian seemed pleased that they would partake in these ‘tests of faith’ and stood silently by as they crossed the threshold into the next room.

They found themselves in a large chamber with high, vaulted ceilings. Eight alcoves lined the left and right walls, four to each wall. Ancient bronze braziers held bright flames to bathe the room in contrasting forms of shadow and firelight. They noticed shadowy figures standing before each brazier, forms ethereal and vague… shades hovering on the very edge of the Veil. Awina shared a questioning look with Wynne and Morrigan, but the two mages seemed just as perplexed as she was.

“What is the point of this?” Sten questioned, his normally quiet voice seemingly so loud in the eerie silence of the hall.

“There is a door at the far end that seems to go further into the temple.” Zevran pointed out.

As the assassin observed, there was another pair of doors on the far end. Nothing stopped them as they crossed the hall as a group but they found the door was locked. No lock to pick and not even Shale could smash his way through it. Whatever the door was made of, it would continue to bar their path until they passed whatever was involved with this first test. Maxis barked, running towards one of the ethereal figures silently standing watch. As they approached, the flame in the brazier seemed to shrink, reducing the intensity of its light and the figure’s form appeared more clearly. It was a man with a strangely familiar face, clad in old Ferelden armor with a crown upon his head.

_I am the lost king of a broken nation. I broke the chains of the lions of the West. Betrayed by my greatest ally and my lands besieged by Blight. I have failed my people and my kin and no longer deserve to be remembered as the Savior of Ferelden._ The spirit spoke, his tone somber and distant.

“Savior of Ferelden. Wait… is this King Maric?!” Alistair said, brow raising and jaw dropping in surprise.

“A spirit guised as him, nothing more.” Wynne warned him.

_The line of Calenhad remains unbroken and my crown, by birthright, is yours. All that I have fought and bled for is threatened by not just the Blight, but Loghain as well. If I had heeded the warning more carefully, perhaps this responsibility would not have fallen upon your shoulders, Alistair, but alas it must._

“Whoa, no. Me, as king? Utter disaster waiting to happen if anyone plops that crown on my head. I can barely manage being a Grey Warden, let alone running a country on the brink of war and anarchy.” Alistair immediately protested.

“I’d have to agree with Alistair.” Morrigan quipped, though it wasn’t in jest and no one seemed to protest his defiance.

_It is a burden none should lust for. To deny this, to deny me and the line of Calenhad would spell disaster for Ferelden’s future. The mantle of king demands just as much sacrifice as the Grey Wardens._

The spirit seemed to fade on those last words and the flame in the brazier went out, leaving them with more questions than answers. Its words seemed, mostly, for Alistair and he looked quite pale. They had joked about his parentage and Alistair being a ruler several times but he never seemed to take it seriously until now. Wynne assured him that these were just spirits and the energies of this place were just trying to confuse them but the old woman’s words seemed to do little to alleviate his anxiety.

They moved on to another spirit, the brazier’s light dimming like before. Each spirit had a similar outcome, shadowy reflections of what would be in store for them. For Sten, it was a behemoth of a Qunari who only spoke his native tongue. Shale’s was a golem forged of iron striking an anvil. Zevran’s was the blood of regret that forever stained his hands. Leliana’s was the sharp tongue of her bard master. Then, they came upon a spirit with no form or voice for Wynne, simply staring with an odd music seeming to echo in the hall for a few moments. Morrigan’s was a visage of Flemeth but something seemed off about the encounter, at least to Awina. Her form looked… wrong? The mage wasn’t sure how to put it but there was something about the spirit masquerading as Flemeth that struck the mage as unusual. No one else seemed phased by the change but it was obvious, with what appeared to be horns crowning her head, that her suspicions about Flemeth were not unfounded.

The last spirit of this first test, obviously, had to be for her. Everyone else had a spirit that matched them in some manner. Fears, broken truths, sordid lies… things that they kept guarded from themselves. This final spirit… its form seems broken and faded, more ethereal than the others to the point where it was barely visible. Awina did not recognize who it was supposed to be.

_I am the broken mind, the buried truths; a soul tainted. Cursed by the Maker, we are to live in constant fear of ourselves. Hatred, loathing, weakness… fear and loss._ The spirit whispers, voice distorted as if three people were speaking at once.

“I… I don’t understand.” Awina replied in confusion, the spirit’s form seeming to waver in response.

_Magic broke our family; magic broke our heart… magic is the Maker’s blessed curse._ The spirit replies, its words making the burn on her arm itch and a pressure press on the base of her skull.

“Awina! You’re bleeding!” Alistair exclaimed in alarm.

It took another moment for Awina to register the warm, sticky feel of blood on her upper lip and she wiped it off, staring at the crimson stains on her fingers. When had she started bleeding? The pressure on her skull persisted. The spirit still lingered, its form still wavering as if it couldn’t decide on who to appear as… or maybe it didn’t know who it was supposed to represent to Awina.

_The truth was stolen with blood and must be broken with blood._ It whispered, leaving them in abrupt silence.

Once all eight spirits had vanished and their braziers dimmed, a ninth and final spirit stood before the massive double doors leading deeper into the temple. This spirit had a defined form like some of the others; the form of Jowan. They were all rather surprised to find a representation of the remorseful apostate standing before them, barring their way. The expression on Awina’s face was confused at first as the spirit looked at her, a faint smile on his ethereal face.

“Why the form of Jowan?” Wynne asked the spirit directly.

_I was her brother and I betrayed her trust. In turn, Awina betrayed mine. An eye for an eye… we hurt each other. I lost the love of my life while you lost your hopes and dreams. But, you’ve lost more than I ever have; your very memories were stolen from you._

“Stolen memories? You… guess it would be a moot point to ask how you’d know that, spirit. You mean to say that someone made me forget something?” Awina demands.

_Good intentions often do more to harm than to heal. Why did you lie to him about Lily?_

“Lied? Lily wasn’t sent to Aeonar?” Alistair asked, looking at her with surprise.

“Yes, I lied. I don’t know what happened to Lily. Gregoir probably sent her to Val Rouyeax. I… I wanted Jowan to believe that she was gone forever.”

_You wanted him to feel the pain you felt. So much has been demanded of you and there is more still to be taken before the end of this and yet you and your companions must endure. Here._

The spirit of Jowan held out its hand to her, an amulet dangling from his grasp. At first, Awina believed the item wasn’t real, just like him. Another product of the Fade but when she took it from him, the young Warden was surprised to feel cold metal touching the flesh of her palm. The amulet was real, forged of what looked like silver but wearing a considerable amount of age. There was an ancient symbol of the Chantry etched on the front and the back was polished into a mirror finish. Awina could see her reflection but, for a few brief moments, she swore she saw the face of someone else… someone who looked older than her, with auburn hair and aquamarine eyes. The spirit of Jowan smiles before fading, leaving the path into the temple open to them.

“Are you alright Awina?” Leliana asked, noticing the bleeding from Awina’s nose had stopped.

“I… I’m fine. Just a lot to take in.” She replied, though there was no confidence in her voice.

“I imagine whatever trials this place has for us will only grow more strenuous the deeper into this place we go.” Morrigan warned, the bite from her words gone as the place seemed to be getting under the witch’s skin.

“The only way is forward, so shall we?” Zevran offered, walking ahead.

The group moved into the next room, smaller than the hall they were in moments ago. Like before, the door closed behind them with a heavy groan and audible click of a lock sliding into place. This room was smaller and devoid of any decoration aside from a pair of large, caged torches on the opposite wall. There was a door but as before, it was sealed shut. They would have to pass another test before allowed further in. However, there were no spirits here to guide or test them, no devices, puzzles, or contraptions they had to wrap their intelligence around.

“Another obscure challenge then? Think I would have preferred more cryptic spirits.” Shale quips with annoyance.

“Chasing the ashes of a dead woman is a waste of time.” Sten added in his drow voice, scowling as usual.

A chill raced through Awina and it seemed to happen to Wynne and Morrigan as well, as the three mages exchanged questioning looks with each other. The grating of stone joints from Shale’s massive body sounded excessively loud now but the translucent violet crystals embedded in his arms and shoulders were sparking. Something was disturbing the Fade here… something sinister.

“Anyone else suddenly get the heebee jeebees?” Alistair asked as he cautiously looked behind him.

“Something is very wrong here. Be on your guard.” Morrigan warned, already drawing upon her spells.

Maxis spun and started to viciously bark at the darkened area behind them. The only thing there was their long cast shadows on the ground and the sealed doors. The flames in the brazier seemed to sudden dim, casting the room in near perfect darkness. The air got colder, oppressive...

“Gah!” Awain yelped when she felt something slice into her shoulder, cutting through her sleeve and drawing blood.

“Awina! Maker’s blood, can barely see.” Alistair exclaimed, trying to find her in the dark.

The braziers suddenly roared back to life as Morrigan stoked the flames with her staff. The cut on Awina’s arm was shallow but blood was already streaked through the soft cotton of her tunic. The newborn light in the room revealed that they were no longer alone. Eight shadows stood before them, forms matching each of them in turn… except for Maxis. It seemed beasts were exempt from the trial but the rest of them, the ashes intended to put them to the test by combat.

The Fade crackled with wild arcane energies as spells cracked back and forth. Blades and armor crashed in the chaotic symphony of battle they were all well acquainted with. The first to fall was the shadowy forms of Morrigan and Wynne, giving the group in the advantage in spell power and control of the Fade’s energies. Shale and Sten’s shadows crumbled soon after under combined assaults from the heavy hitters and stealthy attacks from Zevran. Soon, it seemed the battle was theirs as the last few shadows fell… all save for one.

_No… no, I will not let you take her! Not again!!_

The voice echoed around them, a chord of familiarity striking deep inside Awina’s mind. The pressure that had lingered on the back of her skull increased, forcing her to squint her eyes in discomfort, feeling dizzy all of a sudden. The lingering shadow was wavering still, like it was torn between the Fade and the mortal realm. Suddenly, the flames in the brazier roared into massive pillars and the edges of the room lit with fire, casting the room in bright light and sweltering heat.

“Andraste’s tits! What is happening?” Alistair exclaimed.

“Something is influencing the shadow.” Morrigan announced, supporting Wynne with a barrier spell.

The shadow’s form twisted, growing into the shape of an abomination but it was also becoming more defined. A distinct face, twisted by agony, glares at them. Flames writhe under the blackened cracks of flesh. Awina saw her face for a moment, tasted blood on her lips, and promptly collapsed on the ground.

“Awina?!” Leliana exclaimed when she saw her mage unconscious on the floor.

_Get away from her!_ The shadow screeched.

It charged right at them, clawed hands wreathed in flames. Shale and Alistair moved forward to meet it head on, the shadow slamming into Shale and pushing the heavy golem back at least a foot before he was able to dig his heels in to stop it. Its fiery claws gouged into the golem’s rocky hide as it tried to shove past him, screeching incoherently. Wynne and Leliana were trying to revive Awina but, even the mage’s healing spells were not getting her to wake up.

“Look out!” Zevran shouted in warning.

Leliana managed to look up in time to see the fireball coming towards them a moment before Morrigan stepped between them and blocked it with a spray of ice from her fingers. The witch glanced back at her and gave a nod before joining the fray again. Even out-numbered, the frenzied shadow would not go down. Each blow it suffered only seemed to enrage it further and it seemed absolutely focused on getting through them to reach Awina. The flames bathing the room were dying as the shadow’s strength faltered and weakened.

Silver eyes suddenly fluttered open but they did not seek out or focus on her worried friends. Awina saw the wavering shadow through the gaps in her warring companions. The face, broken by cracks of flames on its surface, was so familiar… it felt like something inside her snapped. A final sword stroke from Alistair sent the shadow back into the darkness and the heat in the room was suddenly gone. There was a moment of absolute silence and then a ringing filled her ears, accompanied by the sound of whispering voice rapidly turning into an agonizing roar as Awina’s eyes rolled into the back of her head and she started to convulse.

“Hold her down!” Don’t let her choke on her tongue, Leliana!” Wynne exclaimed, already working another healing spell.

The bard held Awina’s head firmly between her hands to try and stop her thrashing. Her eyes were completely white, black veins branching from her throat up to her cheeks. A crash of metal against stone announced Alistair’s arrival as he and Zevan pinned her limbs down to control her thrashing. When he saw the mark of the Blight marring her skin, he shot Wynne a worried look.

“What happened? The shadow didn’t…”

“I’m not sure but you need to hold her so I can heal this… whatever is. Whatever holds sway in this temple is affecting her the most.” Wynne replied to his worried inquiry, focusing her attention on her spell.

They watched as the mage Warden was bathed in warm light, the tremors wracking her body calming and her gasps for breath slowing to a normal rate. The black lines on her skin faded and the milky screen over her eyes cleared away. Leliana ran her fingers along the mage’s sweat-slicked temple, relief washing over like a cresting wave. Alistair helped Awina to her feet, the way out open to them now.

“W-what happened?” She asked, voice a bit hoarse.

“Had us worried there for a few but Wynne fixed you up. Whatever that shadow was, it was strong. Seems like we beat the trial though.” Alistair explained rather vaguely to her.

Awina didn’t say anything further, her gaze distant for a moment before refocusing on their task. With the door further in open, they ventured into the next chamber. Like the rooms before, the door swung shut and locked behind them. The air here was dense and ominous, the metallic scent of blood hanging in the air. Leliana gasped in horror when she happened to look down and saw that there was some kind of circular designed painted on the stones… in blood.

“Maker! What is this?!” She breathed, her whisper sounding loud in the silence.

“This looks… bad. Very bad.” Alistair added in when he noticed

“This is a blood magic ritual. Flemeth taught me about them a little but I… I’ve never even heard of one on this scale.” Morrigan commented as they looked around the room.

_Do you not remember this? No… no, of course you don’t._ A voice in the darkness whispered but it seemed only Awina could hear it as she snapped her head around.

“Something wrong?” Leliana asked.

“Did you not hear that?” She retorts, brow scrunched as a chill races down her spine. “Who’s there?!”

_The comfort in the darkness, the voice in the void… you._

Before the mage, stepping out from the very shadow, was an Abomination; one in a twisted visage of herself. Her skin was pale and line with black veins. Black liquid seemed to ooze from around its milk-white eyes and cracked, dark lips. She was wearing armored robes with the crest of the Grey Wardens on them, battered and smeared with what looked like blood. Tendril appendages flexed behind her, barely visible in the darkness, as she smirked and bowed to her.

_After so long… we final have this opportunity._

“Awina?” Wynne asked as the mage quickly backed herself into Alistair, eyes widened in terror.

“A-abomin… abo….” She stammers, the words sticking in her throat.

_Poor thing. Memories stolen, mind torn and stitched back together. Magic has stolen everything from you, from us. Family, love… home. All of it torn away._ It hissed softly, gesturing one spindly fingered hand towards the blood ritual they were standing on. _Considerable life taken… all in the name of ‘protection’ from those who thought better._

“What are you talking about?” Awina said, speaking abruptly and ignoring the questions from her companions who clearly couldn’t see the illusion.

“I think something is very wrong here. I feel another entity here but it appears only Awina can see it.” Morrigan observed, lips pursed with concern.

_Ha… they would never understand. What’s been sacrificed for us countless times… when have we ever had a say in our fate?_

“Awina, who are you talking to?” Alistair asked, putting his hand on her shoulder.

Awina let out a startled yelp and jumped away from him, having lost awareness of her surroundings for a moment. He looked at her in surprise, jerking his hand back as if he had accidentally hurt her. There was an awkward moment before the silence was punctuated by the mimic’s laugh.

_No matter the armor he bears or the blood in his veins, he is a Templar. He will betray us, steal from us like they stole Mary._

“What?! How do…” Awina snapped before realizing she was saying it at Alistair.

“Awina, are you ok dear? You’ve been holding some kind of conversation with no one.” Wynne spoke up, concern written all over her face.

_Mages are no better. They stole your memories and lied. They use us as a pawn in their schemes and private wars. They fear us… they would not hesitate to destroy us._ The creature whispered in her ear, clawed hands resting on her shoulders.

Awina backed away from them, doubts eating at her thoughts. Templars, mages, and reformed murderers all at her back. She had placed her trust in them without much thought from the very beginning and now… her head was hurting a great deal again and it was making it difficult to think clearly.

_I can regain what we’ve lost… most of it anyway. Ah, Mary… poor sweet love of your life taken by Templars, blood on their hands…_

“Tell me what happened to her!” Awina snarled, spinning on her heel to face the creature.

“This is making me uncomfortable and I’ve seen some strange things.” Zevran muttered, the antivan nervous.

“Woman has clearly lost her mind.” Sten grumbled in annoyance.

_Eh-heh, heh… you want to remember what happened to Mary? Are you certain… it’s so painful and unfortunate, I wouldn’t want to cause you more harm._

“Tell me!” She screamed, completely startling her companions.

The mimic laughed, voice echoing in the room to the point everyone heard it. The room shook for a moment and then the bloodied runes seemed to light up with no provocation. Morrigan shouted out in warning as the Fade crackled with rampant energy. Awina felt as if she was struck by something on the back of her head, screaming as excruciating pain forced her to her knees. Leliana immediately ran to her, only to slam into some unforeseen barrier and fall back on her ass. Morrigan was there, helping her to her feet.

“Don’t! We don’t know what this ritual is for.” The witch warned.

“But Awina is trapped! We can’t just…”

_She was never yours to claim, fools._ The mimic taunted, materializing before their eyes. _I must thank you for bringing her this far… I’ve waited so long for this day to come and here we are._

“Let her go, monster!” Leliana snarled.

She grabbed her bow off her back and notched an arrow in one swift motion, letting it fly loose. The twisted mimic of Awina laughed as the arrow harmlessly passed through it and shattered against the magic barrier behind it.

“Another illusion?” Alistair asked, looking back at Wynne and Morrigan.

“No… no, this is a demon.” The old mage replied, looking quite rattled. “This is what’s been talking to Awina.”

Awina screamed again as something seemed to crack in the air and suddenly the room was quiet. The mimic demon laughed again as the young mage laid there. Leliana immediately ran to her, unconcerned with any traps or tricks. She slid to her knees, scooping Awina up in her arms and pulling her up into a sitting position.

“Awina? Maker, please…” She muttered, pressing her ear to her chest to listen for her heart.

“M-Mary?” She stammered, correcting herself when her vision cleared. “Leliana?!”

_You remember now, don’t you? What the Templars did, what the mages stole? How you got Mary killed?!!_ It cackled

“N-no!”

Leliana let out a startled gasp as Awina shoved her away, face flushed and sweaty. The mimic was in her ear while the others saw it just standing there, laughing about the entire series of events. Morrigan gritted her teeth, the sense of being helpless not sitting well with her… or anyone else for that matter. Awina, on the other hand, found herself drowning in her own mind. Flashes of her life forgotten; the day the Templars dragged her screaming from her mother, the cruelty of the Templars in the Gallows, Mary lying on the floor in a pool of blood… she screamed something incoherently as she tried to block the newly awakened images from her mind.

“What did you do to her?!” Morrigan demanded, stepping forward as lighting crackled around her staff.

_Only what she wanted; take back what was stolen. All that was forgotten… she remembers now._ It grinned maliciously at them.

Unseen to the others, the demon was at her ear, clawed hands resting on her shoulder as if trying to give her comfort and reassurance. The realization that she had caused Mary’s, her lover, death had shaken her utterly. Now, there was reason to why it felt so familiar when she killed Father Erik. When she looked at her hands, she saw fresh blood and a strangled cry left her throat as tears burned in her eyes.

_Shhh. Then, you were weak but now… now we are stronger, much stronger. We can stop it from happening again._

“Again?”

_Him._ The demon hissed, drawing her attention to Alistair. _He will take from you. He has set you up to be the lamb at the alter from the very beginning. It is only a matter of time before he takes your bard from you…_

Her jaw went slack and eyes widened as it felt her heart came to a sudden, painful stop. She witnessed Alistair approaching Leliana, the bard smiling at him as she lifted her arms and rested them on his shoulders. Their lips met in a passionate kiss, his hands on her hip as they slid against each other, leather grating against metal. Anger flared in her as tears stung her eyes, heart breaking in two. The rational part of her mind was desperately screaming at her that this was all a demonic trick but she was beyond listening as anger roared in her blood.

“Get away from her!”

Alistair didn’t even have time to lift his shield when the bolt of white lightning slammed into him, sending him flying across the room with a thunderous clash of metal. Sparks raced across his armor as he lay there, dazed. Morrigan immediately stepped in, realizing that Awina was no longer in control of herself, trying to conjure a binding spell to keep her from casting another at them. With just a flick of her wrist, Awina stopped Morrigan’s spell in its tracks, the back-lash of energy snapping the witch’s staff in half. Morrigan swore, more alarmed the girl could conjure such power so fast without a focus.

“The demon has her.” Sten growled, drawing his blade and charging right at her.

The demon hissed in warning at Awina, directing the mage’s confused and torn fury against him. He dodged the fireball thrown at him and kept charging at her like a battering ram. Leliana screamed in panic when his blade came down but it missed, edge sparking against the stone floor where she had been standing. Awina shimmered behind him, a blade forged of pure aether in her hand. Her retaliation cleaved apart the barrier spell Wynne managed to erect, giving the qunari time to get out of her reach. Zevran helped Alistair up to his feet but he was reluctant to fight her, they all were for the most part.

“Awina! Get a grip on yourself!” Wynne shouted.

_She is mine! You hold no sway over her any longer. Ehhahahahaha!!_ The abomination laughed.

“It’s going to possess her if we don’t stop this!” Alistair said with dismay in his voice, shield raised to protect himself from any further spells.

Leliana could see the panic and fear in the mage’s clouded vision. Whatever the demon had awakened in her, it was causing this confusion. Though no one understood what she may have remembered about her past, the bard recognized the pain of regret. She dropped her bow and the notched arrow as she approached her with measured, certain steps.

“Leliana?!” Alistair cried in warning, rushing after her. “Stay away!”

“Let me do this Alistair.” She said, her voice calm but her fierce gaze stopping him in his tracks.

Awina’s scarred arm was wreathed in silver flames, the demon laughing in her ear as it was pushing her to the edge. Just a little further and she would succumb. That’s all it needed… yet that plan started to crumble apart. When silver eyes fell upon the orlesian’s face, Awina’s pained anger started to calm and she started to think more with more clarity.

“Awina, please… is this what you want?” Leliana asked her.

“They took everything from me! My family, my life! I became a slave to the Chantry! To the Wardens! I… I hurt… I killed the one person who cared...” She choked in response, fresh tears.

“Shhh. Whatever happened Awina, the demon would let it consume you. Don’t let it win.” She continued, just within arm’s reach of her.

_Don’t listen! She is a viper. She will use you as a shield against her own mistakes. She is nothing like Mary._ The mimic hissed against her ear, grip on her tightening possessively.

Warm hands cupped her cheeks, keeping the mage from turning her gaze away. She stared into those crystal blue pools and felt shame take hold. The flames she had conjured flickered out as the rage in her veins started to calm. Leliana smiled gently at her, tracing the pad of her thumb along Awina’s cheekbone, wiping away the stream of tears.

“Tell me what happened to her.” Leliana said, her voice a commanding whisper only they could hear.

“I killed her…” Awina muttered, fresh tears spilling.

“I know it hurts but… tell me what happened, Awina. Everything.”

She hesitated, squeezing her eyes shut as the memories surged through her again. At first, it had been flashes of a struggle, the feel of cold metal in her hands, acrid odor of burning flesh… Mary lying in a pool of blood on the floor.

_You murdered her! She is dead because of you!!_ The mimic screeched in her ear, trying to drown her again.

“I… she…”

The very air around them seemed to ripple, the darkness and the blood ritual gone and replaced with a scene… a moment frozen in time. Awina’s eyes fluttered open and her heart clenched painfully at what was visible to all. A younger version of her pushing open a door, a Templar with another mage pinned under him, her robes hiked up her hips and the top pulled open, trying to fight him off.

_“Mary?”_ Came her voice

_“Awina, run!”_

The scene suddenly sprang to life as the door fully swung open, the Templar distracted as he turned to face her intrusion. Awina was rooted to the spot as Mary struck him helplessly, the Templar throwing her to the ground before coming after the young girl, drawing a knife from his belt. Mary ran into his back, throwing him off balance. There was a struggle as Mary screamed for Awina to run, the young mage rooted to the spot by fear and confusion. Then, there was a sudden moment of silence punctuated by the sound of steel piercing flesh.

_“Mary!!”_

The Orlesian mage staggered back, a knife sticking out of her before she fell back against the table the Templar had her on. The man grinned wickedly as he came after Awina and dragged her in by the front of her robe. Strong, armored hands went to her throat. The scene seemed to slow and waver as Awina choked on her sobs, arms wrapped around herself.

“I can’t!” She whimpered.

“What happened wasn’t your fault Awina. You must see that!” Leliana argued, pressing her forehead to the mage’s.

Time seemed to jolt forward again, Mary pushing herself up and yanking the knife free… her eyes black as the wound seemed to suddenly glow. With sudden strength, she ripped the Templar away from her. There was a flicker and suddenly the Templar was on the floor, flesh blackened and smoke rising from within his armor. Mary’s skin was cracking and blackening, revealing what looked like molten liquid underneath, her fingers twisted into sharp claws. Another flicker and she was kneeling next to Awina, cradling her in her arms.

_“I’m so sorry. This was never supposed to happen.”_

Flickered again and Mary was holding the knife to her chest, arms shaking as she fought against the demon possessing her, determination in her eyes before plunging the blade into her heart. Awina sobbed as the truth stung more than anything but there was no denying she had not been the one holding the blade. The demon was gone, the room returned to normal, and the door leading into the final chamber of the temple was open to them. Awina was in Leliana’s arms, sobbing and blubbering apologies.

“I think now would be a good time as any time to take a break and recollect ourselves.” Zevran spoke up, giving Leliana a wane smile. “We could all use a moment of rest.”

No one argued with the suggestion, Wynne immediately waylaying Alistair to check on him and ensure the spell he was hit with hadn’t hurt him. Leliana stayed with Awina while the others gave them a modest berth. The fact she turned so easily on them and with such lethal force had left its mark. Part of Leliana was afraid of her now but it did not win out against her other, more intimate feelings for the mage. She ran her fingers through her hair, humming a soothing lullaby to her until the mage had some of her composure back.

“I’m so sorry. I… I hurt you guys…” she blubbered.

“Nothing Wynne can’t patch up. Just take your time… we’ll continue when you’re ready.” Leliana told her, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

The warmth of her lips against her sweat-slicked brow as a comfort and she pressed herself closer to the bard as the woman’s arms circled her tighter. The freshly woken storm of memories still brought a great deal of pain but now, with renewed clarity, she realized that the demon, whatever it had been, had tried to push her into desperation. Once more, temptation almost dragged her into the abyss. Still… Mary’s death had been, partially, her fault even though she had not held the blade. She felt exhausted, the temple’s trails pulling every and more from her but, at her very core, she felt a sense of peace she had not felt before.


	13. Queen of Flames

The cold, thin air of the peaks of the Frostbacks was a welcoming when they stepped outside of the temple, coming outside of an exit on the other side of the peak. The Guardian, having met them at the altar of the Urn itself, said the path would take them back to where they had left Brother Genitivi, though it was up to them if they would reveal its existence or let it fall back into obscurity. The journey had touched and changed them all, even Sten and Shale. Though they remained non-believers of the Andrastian faith, they couldn’t ignore nor deny what they had witnessed.

Awina was likely the most affected. The tests of faith had pushed her into the breaking point and ripped her world apart. The restored memories were still fresh but she was getting better about hiding them. The last test, the ‘cleansing’ ritual before reaching the ashes had done its part to soothe the pain and start the healing process but she wouldn’t forget that bittersweet and haunting event for the rest of her life…

_Stripped bare, companions at her back and the gold and marble urn before them, just out of reach… Awina stepped into the flames with her eyes squeezed shut. She expected the flames to burn, Andraste finally deem her unworthy and destroy her but they did not. The heat of the flames was mild and comforting, caressing her. For a moment, it felt like familiar hands on her, the scent of vanilla perfume ghosting past her._

_‘You hold no fault. I would sacrifice myself again gladly if I could if it meant keeping you safe, mi amore. Live and let yourself love again.’_

Hearing Mary’s voice one last time, what may have been her final wishes, had given Awina some peace. She quickly came to terms that what happened to her had not been her fault, in part, but it still stung to know that she precipitated the events that led to Mary making such a choice in the first place. Alistair, Leliana, and Maxis walked close to her and she was glad for their loyalty and companionship.

“Wait.” She said suddenly, stopping in her tracks, the rest of the group following suit.

“Did you hear something?” Zevran asked.

She motioned for silence and closed her eyes. Leliana grimaced as she saw her eyes had gone milk white when she opened them. It was only for a brief moment, a blink and they were back to silver.

“Alistair! Shield!” She yelled at him.

He immediately lifted his shield up, a thrown axe skatting off the battered surface. The cackling howl of Darkspawn followed shortly after as several Hurlocks came charging down the narrow path. The first fell upon Alistair’s blade and promptly thrown off the edge into the cliffs below them. Awina pressed herself against the wall as Sten and Shale charged forward. She could feel more coming up their rear and they would be pinched here if they didn’t get to open ground. Sten shoved his way through the Hurlocks, forcing the attackers off the path and falling to their deaths. They ran, the chilled air filled with the howls of Darkspawn.

“Scatter!” Alistair shouted as he lifted his shield.

A massive fireball came down in front of them, sending ice and stone showering over them as they all scrambled in different directions. The ruins were swarming with Darkspawn, a Hurlock Emissary in the back and a Orge quickly charging up the center with a massive club in its fist.

“Leliana, take care of that Emissary! Sten, Alistair! Hold the front line! Wynne, wards and keep those arrows off us! Shale and Zevran, keep the Darkspawn off Wynne.” Awina shouted out orders, taking the Qunari and golem by surprise. “Morrigan… let’s cause some damage.”

The witch laughed in delight as she joined the warden mage in attacking the Darkspawn trying to flank around the front-liners. Leliana immediately found higher ground cutting her way through Darkspawn, notching an enchanted arrow to her bow as she muttered a prayer, adjusting her aim to ensure the arrow flew to its mark. The steel-headed tip of the arrow burst into green flame as it flew for the Emissary, striking it square in the chest. The beast gurgled before falling backwards, the spell it almost cast fizzling out. She had time to survey the battlefield, the Darkspawn emerging from the snow flurries surrounding them. They were severely outnumbered, even though they were holding their own quite well.

She watched in amazement as Awina seemed to command her side of the battlefield. Before, she had always stuck to the back, protected by one of them but now… she fought alongside Morrigan, stemming a tide of Hurlocks trying to charge Sten’s left flank. The ethereal blade she could conjure slice through armor and flesh as if it were paper, the snow and stones around them drowned in black blood. Morrigan splintered off, taking the form of a massive, hideous spider to clear out the left while Awina headed for the right.

A sudden shift in the wind drew Leliana’s attention and she looked up at the sky to see a dark shape quickly coming into view, followed by the bellowing crying of a massive beast; the High Dragon. Like a sea storm, the beast swooped past her and blasted a stretch of the ruins with liquid flames, charring a large chunk of the Darkspawn. It banked around the mountain ridge and flew overhead, the wind whipping her red locks around her face. The ground shook as the massive Ferelden Frostback landed, claws smashing the Ogre into the ground as the Darkspawn broke ranks and quickly fled.

“Yaaahhh!! Face me!!” Alistair shouted, banging his sword against his shield, the noise drawing the beast’s attention to himself.

The dragon snarled and hissed at him, head low to the ground as its lips quivered over long, thick teeth. Claws scratched grooves into the ground. It inhaled sharply, sparks flickering in the back of its gaping mouth as it was about to bathe Alistair in flames. The dragon’s head suddenly lurched as it roared, lifting its head and shaking as it tried to throw off the pair of black wolves latched to the right side of its jaw. Morrigan and Awina both clamped down their jaws tightly, teeth barely scratching into the overlapping plates of scales. When the dragon swung its head low, rearing up so it could use its front claws to swipe at them, they both let go and hit the ground, darting out of the way before the beast stepped upon them.

Arrows shattered against its tough hide but one of Leliana’s arrows found its mark in the soft flesh right behind its jaw. The dragon snarled and yellow eyes glared at her. The beast’s tail swung around in a great arc as it spun, smashing the pillar she was standing on.

“Leliana!” Awina screamed in panic, back in her human form and watching in horror.

The bard leapt backwards a moment before the impact, doing a backflip before landing in a crouch so the impact wouldn’t break her ankle. The landing still hurt but she was able to roll out of the way of the raining debris. With the dragon’s attention focused on her, she sprinted between the broken pillars and crumbled walls, firing arrows at the dragon as she lured it away. The beast roared at her, spitting flames to try and catch her but the bard ducked behind a wall to shield herself.

Sten, despite his massive size, had been keeping pace and once the dragon was fully distracted by the Orlesian, he charged right at its side and left, burying his greatsword as far he could into the dragon’s side. It screeched as the blade dragged down, cutting open a large, ragged gash into it. Sten yanked his blade free but the dragon’s massive head was coming for him, teeth intent on crushing him to death. Instead, teeth came down on the golem’s hands as it grabbed the dragon’s jaws and held them in place. Shale was strong but the dragon was strong and threw the golem with a toss of its head, sending Shale smashing through a pillar and rolling into a thick pile of ice.

“It’s time to end this!” Morrigan growled.

Violet sparks of lighting dance in her hands as she conjured a powerful lightning spell. The dragon staggered, favoring its wounded side as it rounded on Sten and Alistair, lips quivering as it inhaled for another fire breath attack. The attack never came as a massive bolt of lightning cracked across the sky over their heads and struck the dragon in its gaping wound. It shrieked loudly as it reared, sparks racing across its scales before it collapsed, blood bubbling from its nostrils and streaming from around its blood-shot eyes. Limbs twitched as it groaned, head grating against the ground. They stood around the dying beast, most in awe they had actually brought it down.

“Maker…” Alistair huffed, still winded from the fight, blood and bits of flesh on his shield and armor.

“I’m guessing this was the ‘Andraste’ the cultists worshipped. Never thought I’d fight a high dragon and win.” Zevran quipped.

Awina stared at it, actually feeling a bit sorry for the beast as it suffered. She remembered reading about the creatures, the destruction they could bring but being this close to what considered to be gods… this was the power that led the Blight. They were lucky no one got seriously hurt. A few scrapes and bruises… Shale might have a piece or two missing but he was a golem and didn’t feel pain. The dragon whined as it tried to lift its head, blooded lips quivering weakly, eyes burned out. Even at the precipice of death, it’s will to fight and survive was unmatched. Awina stepped closer and pressed her hand to its muzzle, the dragon’s nostrils quivering as it drew in her scent, mustering a weak growl as it tried to lift its head to bite her. She scooped up one of the rusted blades used by the Darkspawn and walked around to the side of its head to the soft flesh behind its jaw. Again, she pressed her hand to its skin, feeling its ragged breathing and the fluttering tempo of its heart. The beast made no sound as Awina plunged the blade into its jugular, just shuddered and went limp within seconds.

“A great foe vanquished. We should be proud… for the Arch Demon will be much stronger than a High Dragon.” Morrigan said.

“Yes, this was no easy feat. However, we should get back to the ruins before nightfall. Brother Genitivi is waiting for us and I’d rather we celebrate our victory not buried to our hips in snow.” Wynne suggested, pointing out a think bank of black clouds coming from the north.

They made it back to the ruins just as the edges of the blizzard blanketed over the mountains. Wynne tended to Genitivi’s injured leg while the rest of them set up camp, exhausted by the past day or so’s events. Time had had no meaning in the temple and they had spent an entire day there, mental and physical fortitude pushed to the very limits. Awina was exhausted but she didn’t want to sleep.

The sound of soft-soled boots against the snow-dusted stone alerted Awina to someone approaching her, suspecting either Leliana or Morrigan. She was relieved to see it was the bard, Sunkist skin and blue eyes a welcoming comfort.

“How are you holding up?” she asked, sitting down next to her, placing her hand over Awina’s.

“I’d be lying if I said I was ok. The memories… everything that happened in the temple is a lot to take in. I’m at peace with some things but…” Awina sighed.

“But?”

“I thought getting my memories back would answer the questions I had but I have so many more. What happened to my family? Why was my memory wiped in the first place? I… just don’t know if this was intended as a good thing. I almost got possessed again.”

“But you stood strong against it, again. You sell yourself short too often Awina.” Leliana chided, curling her fingers around her tighter.

“I suppose I do, don’t I? Everything I thought I knew about the world was a lie, mostly.” She retorts almost sarcastically. “Feels like I’m finally seeing clearly.”

“And what do you see about us?”

There was a long pause as Awina thought on the answer. Subconsciously, she could justify her attraction being because Leliana shared so many qualities with Mary but that simply wasn’t the case. She loved Leliana for being her, even knowing some of the darker things about the woman. She looked at her and smiled, the Orlesian returning the gesture in kind.

“I see a woman who has done nothing but be my anchor as the world constantly tries to bury me… and I’d rather have no one else at my side.”


	14. Her Long Reaching Shadow

She pulls back firmly on the reins of her horse, the steed frothing around the bit as she had been riding it hard for two days now. Redcliffe Village laid sprawled out before her, smoke rising from several places in the town and soldiers and townsfolk alike hurrying about as the sun sank further below the horizon. It has barely been two months since Redcliffe had been freed from the scourge of the demon and its undead thralls but they were still repairing the damage and cleaning up the corpses. Funeral pyres still burned near the Chantry. The woman on the horse drew her cloak around her tighter, the shadow of her hood masking her face even as she dismounted and led the steed across the bridge and down the path to the center of the village.

“Excuse me.” She asked a passing villager, carefully masking her Orlesian accent to better match the crude dialect of Ferelden. “Where might I find a stable for my horse and a room for the evening?”

“Well, the inn’s pretty full right now ma’am, but the Arl’s opened the keep to any refugees needing shelter. You runnin’ from the Blight as well? I hear things are gettin’ nasty with the Darkspawn about and civil war stirrin’ across Ferelden.” He replies freely.

She thanked him for the information, a sultry smile that makes the young lad fluster and blush. Perhaps she’d find a use for him later though he appeared too droll and stupid. The cloaked woman would keep in mind… just in case; country folk were incredibly easy to charm and manipulate. leads her horse towards the keep on the lake. The drawbridge is down but the guards don’t even bother to check her. They just nod and give her directions to stable her horse. A stablehand takes care of her horse, leaving her free reign to explore the courtyard and most of the keep in general. There were a lot of refugees camped out in the courtyard, haggard folk covered in dirt and with what few possessions they could escape with. Truly deplorable creatures in her eyes. Ferelden was ripping itself apart between the Blight and its petty civil war but she had come here for a reason. A very special reason.

Crowds of people filled the main hall and a warm fire roared in the hearth set in the far back. It stank of unwashed filth and she had to wrinkle her nose in displeasure. Ferelden dogs, the lot of them… they all deserved to be put down.

“I must thank you for your help again, Leliana. Your songs and tales have been a great comfort to many.” Lady Isolde complimented, her Orlesian lit drawing the cloaked woman’s attention.

Leliana. The name drew a dark, sinister smirk to her lips as turned towards the voice. It has been years since she had seen that beautiful red-head, her fondest play-thing. She moved out of their path as they walked close, keeping her head dipped far enough to ensure her hood masked her face but Leliana did not give her a second glance as the pair passed. Foolish girl, her instincts have dulled since she took succor with the Chantry. The two women parted ways halfway down the main hall, a guard drawing the noblewoman’s attention to something else. Leliana headed for the courtyard and she followed, her steps light and quick.

She dogged her steps all the way back to the village, the sound of metal clashing near the lakeshore coming to her ears. The cloaked woman positioned herself in the shadowed corner of a building as more people came into view, one she recognized as the meek, silver-eyed woman she had met at the Pearl months ago. She was different, the naïve youth gone from her expression. She wore an ensemble made of pattered white and blue fabric, with scalemail down the upper arms and a pauldron forged in the shape of a griffon’s head on her left shoulder. A man was standing with her dressed in similar attire but with considerably more plate metal, twin griffons etched in white enamel on his breastplate. Each of them were wielding swords, though the girl had one that was uniquely shaped with glowing veins of lyrium embedded in the surface.

“I hope I’m not interrupting.” Leliana says with an air of humor to her voice.

“We were just taking a break, Leliana. How’s the Arl doing?” The young man asks, grinning.

“He’s regained much of his strength. Wynne’s been keeping a close eye on him but he seems very eager to get back on his feet. I imagine he’ll want to speak with the two of you tomorrow morning, when Wynne lets him out of bed finally.”

“I’m glad he’s ok. Still can’t believe Andraste’s ashes turned out to be true.” The silver-eyed mage pipes in.

The cloaked woman watches as Leliana approaches, that glimmer of adoration in those silver irises as they look at each other. Her smirk returns as she realizes her former pupil has taken the bait completely. Leliana tucks an errant strand of hair behind the woman’s ear in a tender motion that betrays everything to her. The trap is sprung and the girl is too stupid to realize it, just like that day when she punished her for the errant girl’s misguided betrayal. The man snickered, clearing his throat loudly to interrupt them.

“Do I need to turn around so you two can have a moment?” He teases, earning an embarrassed look from the mage girl.

“Ass.” The silver-eyed woman hissed, her cheeks pink as Leliana giggled.

Unbeknownst to them, their spy lingered, catching everything said between them. They would leave for Orzammar in a day or two, something about old treaties and preparing for war. Since they were Grey Wardens, the Blight was their concern but this provided a multitude of opportunities for her to get back under Leliana’s skin… remind her that her master had never forgotten her.

Marjolaine smiled as malicious plans formed. She had contacts with the Carta in Orzammar; they owed her many a favor and it was time she started using them. The two Wardens were also very wanted people here in Ferelden and there were so many ways she could twist that to her advantage. The deeper she drew Leliana into her web, the more pain she could inflict upon her. Her disgraced pupil believed all these years, she had escaped and somehow won after their last meeting upon those dreadful shores but no, Marjolaine never forgot and she would never forgive her.

Leliana’s life was always hers to play with.

She found them again after supper had been served and consumed. At first, Awina was alone, swinging her blade at one of the practice dummies. She had managed to overhear the woman’s name earlier and Marjolaine always found immense power in knowing her prey’s name. Light footfalls warned her of someone approaching and she made she that shadows kept her well hidden. It was Leliana, dressed in her usual tunic, boots, and soft hide breeches when she wasn’t wearing her armor. Marjolaine smirked crookedly as she leaned a bit closer to overhear the conversation the two held.

“You’re going to tire yourself, Awina.” Leliana chided her with amusement.

“Orzammar is going to be an incredibly dangerous place. Practically right above the heart of the Blight. I can’t be unprepared.” Awina retorted, brow slicked with sweat as she took another swing.

“I see Alistair and Zevran’s tutelage is rubbing off on you but come, take a break for the evening.”

“Soon.”

The sounds of blades clearing leather sheaths whispered in the dark and there was a glint of torch light off steel as Leliana drew her daggers, making Awina pause. Her expression was difficult to see in the long shadows being cast upon her face but would could assume she was confused.

“What are you doing, Leliana?” She asked with a note of apprehension, something Marjolaine did not fail to notice.

“Though admirable, I must insist that you call it a night, Awina. If I must knock your blade from your hand to do so, then I shall.” Lelina replied.

Marjolaine saw, with a flicker of pride, that her former pupil had not lost her edge with the blade. Their sparring match was short lived, Leliana’s whole body as a weapon as she easily disarmed Awina and brought her to the ground in a pin. The musical laugh, one she had once taken great delight in hearing, made her heart leap for a moment but disappointment quickly replaced it when Leliana did not have her weapons at the woman’s throat.

“Alright! You’ve made your point, Leliana.” Awina sighed.

“Good. Now, being the victor, I believe I am due some reward, no?” Leliana teases as she straddles her hip, hair hanging down around her face as she leans over Awina.

“Eh?”

Her giggle is lighter, full of delight as she leans down and kisses the mage underneath her, a gesture the other woman is eager to reciprocate. Marjolaine watches, grinding her teeth as a pang of jealousy courses through her. Leliana did not deserve joy in her life and she would ensure that every morsel of it turned to ash.


	15. The Dark is Deep

“I swear we’ve been down this corridor twice now…” Wynne commented as they stopped to try and gain their bearings.

According to Oghren, it’s been three days since they started their journey down into the Deep Roads and about five hours since they entered this foreboding strong hold to try and find a way out. Maxis’s nose snuffled at the ground desperately, trying to pick up Awina’s scent amongst the grime of black sludge and blood. Awina had been separated from them for well over a day now. Leliana was nearly at her wit’s end but was doing her best to keep it together. There had been no sign of the Grey Warden mage and the Deep Roads were crawling with all manners of subterranean beasts and Darkspawn. They had cleaved their way through a thick throng of them with the assistance of what remained of some Legion of the Dead warriors. Now, they were lost in this keep the Darkspawn had claimed for themselves.

“Leliana, we’ll find her.” Zevran said quietly, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“I know but I am more worried about the health of her mind and heart. This place is maddening all its own but alone? I’m not even sure the Maker could help her down here.” She replied just as quietly, worry evident in the steel of her voice.

“Aye. Hopefully…” He started to return only to stop when Maxis barked loudly and started down a hall.

“He found her scent!” Leliana exclaimed excitedly, hope making her heart leap into her throat.

The group followed the mabari as he barreled down the hall and led them deep into the keep. The air become more oppressive. The walls and floor had what looked like growths of black flesh the deeper in they went. Their path led them to what appeared to be an armory. Maxis growled as he immediately launched himself at the first Darkspawn in the room, bent over a forge as it seemed to be working on a sword. Taken completely by surprise, they didn’t have time to draw their weapon as Leliana’s arrows picked two off and Oghren’s axe cleaved the final one with a gurgling gasp.

“Was she here?” Leliana asked the mabari as the dog sniffed around.

He nodded and barked, tail wagging. Maxis sniffed around one of the weapon racks before taking off again. They went through the armory, down another hall and then a flight of stairs. The smell of rotted meal and spoiled blood was getting stronger and it was difficult not to retch as they had no choice but to breathe it in. Whatever Maxis was following, it led them to the dungeon. The smell was awful down here and the air humid. It slithered under their clothes and armor and stuck to their skin. Wynne nearly threw up as soon as they reached the bottom of the stairs. The cells were overgrown with black slime and flesh, most of them empty.

“Maker… what happened in here?” Zevran muttered as he peered into one of the cells.

It was the body of a woman, black veins a stark and hideous contrast to her sunken, rotted skin. Her eyes were milk white, hair in tatters, and face contorted into what looked like pure agony. As they inspected the other cells, they saw it wasn’t just humans but dwarves, elves, and even qunari locked in the cells but they shared one quality; they were all female.

“These are all women… why?” Wynne muttered.

“It looks like as if they’ve been tortured. They’re all infected with the Blight from the looks of it but they don’t look like Wardens.” Zevran observed carefully, wincing as the smell and grisly scene surrounding them was getting under his façade.

Maxis barked, pawing at a door on the far side. It looked as if it had been blasted open and on the other side, amongst the splinters, twisted metal, and gore were several bodies of hurlocks, including an Alpha that had been eviscerated quite brutally. Wynne gagged, barely able to keep her stomach from lurching.

“Maker… did she do this?” Leliana muttered, equal parts amazed and appalled by the carnage before them.

The mabari continued charging ahead, the trail leading deeper and deeper into the keep. The path was so dark, the torches lining the walls were bright points of light that often hurt their eyes. They could hear something wet moving around as the tunnel turned to the right and opened into a massive cavern. The ground was lined with thick veins of black and purple flesh that crawled up the walls. Some had semi-translucent sacs attached to them. The veins all led to the far wall, where a truly abominable creature sat. Leliana felt like throwing up and she was fairly certain Wynne had just done so behind her. Long, fleshy tentacles were draped across the ground. It had to have been a humanoid at some point. The front of her massive bulk was stacked pairs of swollen, sagging breasts, pale flesh lined with stark black veins and hideous pock marks and boils oozing some kind of bile. Maxis whimpered and cowered behind Leliana, which was not a good sign.

“We should leave… now!” Oghren hissed, immediately turning.

The hideous creature stirred, fully aware of the intruders in her den and howled, the tentacles lashing out to cut off the path they had just come from as more burst from the flesh covered ground. Her cry was answered by the howls of Darkspawn and several came into the room from various side tunnels, Hurlocks and Genlocks brandishing weapons. Shrieks crawled along the walls and ceilings, gnashing their teeth hungrily.

All hell broke loose as they were swarmed. Leliana went for her bow and started picking off the crawling Shrieks, Maxis tearing into any that dared venture near her. Zevran was dancing around them, daggers cutting into the weak gaps of their armor with deadly precision. Oghren’s hammer swung in a surprising whirlwind of lethality as he kept the Darkspawn off Wynne as her wards guarded them against attacks. However, so badly enclosed and surrounded, their strength soon started to wane. The beastly creature dominating the room shrieked and Leliana found herself suddenly separated from the group, the Alpha Hurlock kicking Maxis clear across the room. She swung but he batted her weapons out of her hands and cuffed her with a backswing, knocking the bard to the ground. Fingers encased in rusted iron grabbed a fist full of hair, painfully dragging her up to her knees.

The Alpha’s triumph was only for a moment before it found its arm severed cleanly at the elbow. Leliana freed herself from the limb’s grasp and looked up to find herself facing another horrendous sight. Instead of bleeding and attempting to attack, the Alpha Hurlock was panicking. The blood that should have been pouring from its arm was, bizarrely, traveling up. It writhed like serpents as the Alpha tried to rip it off. The tendrils wrapped tightly around it’s throat, the creature gagging and helplessly flailing as it was choked to death.

“Leliana!! Maker, are you alright?!” A familiar voice that was ambrosia to her ears after days without hearing it.

Awina hauled her bard to her feet. Leliana immediately noticed that the innocent light to her silvery gaze was completely gone. Her face had lost some of its softness, flecked with dirt and dried blood. Her armor was pitted with scratches and dents, leather and cloth torn and stained by something that smelled foul and yet she did not care about any of those things at the moment. Those silver eyes flickered slightly to the left and Awina shoved Leliana aside, Starfang lashing out to cut the tentacle that had attempted to snatch the Orlesian away from her.

“Stay with the others. I have to deal with the Broodmother.” She ordered, her voice hardened as well.

She didn’t move at first, wanting to stay at her side as she should but Awina was gone in the blink of an eye. Leliana’s skin crawled as the arcane energies that crackled in the air around her were the only indication she had stepped into the Fade. The ghastly Broodmother howled in anguish, lashing out at something that kept blinking between two realms. Starfang sliced through her appendages until she had nothing left to defend herself with. Awina emerged from the Fade fully, plunging her sword deep into the beast’s chest as it thrashed and howled under her until it, finally, slumped over dead. The cavern went silent as the will of the few surviving Darkspawn broke and they fled back into the tunnels. Awina pulled Starfang free, black blood trailing down the keen edge.

“Well slap a nug’s ass!” Oghren huffed, obviously winded by the battle.

Leliana found herself staring as the warden, her warden, approached her with measured, quick steps. The carnage and horror around them did not matter as the world narrowed down to the woman who held her heart. Awina tossed her sword onto the ground and wrapped her arms around Leliana, one around the bard’s waist while the other cupped the back of her head and boldly kissed her. Leliana didn’t care if the others gawked at them as she fiercely returned her lover’s passion, a myriad of emotions flooding her in the calm silence after a hard-fought battle.

“Maker…” Leliana muttered when they final parted, silver eyes locked with cerulean.

“I thought I’d lost you.” Awina whispered, thumb brushing over the bard’s soft lips as she held her chin.

“Do we all get a hello like that?” Zevran quipped, his humor immediately returning at the sight of his friend. “Where have you been?”

“It’s a… long and painful story that hasn’t quite ended yet. We have to keep moving or this will place will be swarming. Branka cut through here with her house and I can feel the Anvil. This way.” Awina replied a bit evasively, immediately picking up her sword and heading towards a wide tunnel on the far side.

Their path was devoid of further Darkspawn but Awina was strangely quiet the entire time, walking apart from them with only Maxis at her side. Everyone could sense the deep change in her, well, everyone except Oghren but the dwarf was more concerned about his wife right now.

“No! She’s found the Anvil!” Awina exclaimed, suddenly taking off at a sprint.

Despite how tired they were, they went after her into what appeared to be ancient dwarven ruins. Deep channels of lava flowed far below them, heating the air to a sweltering temperature. They were standing on a high plateau, a massive wall with old dwarven carvings to the left while the rest of was open, likely having fallen away after centuries of erosion by the lava. A small woman covered in armor smeared with dried blood and dirt was in the center, a shield strapped to her back and mace in her hand. Before her knelt a massive golem forged of metal, it’s head lifting as they approached.

“BRANKA!!!” Awina screamed angrily, drowning out Oghren’s relieved exclamation and catching the rest of them off-guard.

The dwarf spun surprisingly quickly for being encase in heavy armor and that’s when they saw the control rod in her hand, just like the one they had been given for Shale. She started to say something, lifting the control rod to call the golems to her, though the one behind her seemed to be resisting her attempt to command it. The other rock golems stirred and shook to life, eyes glowing with malice as their limbs haltingly moved after years of standing still. Awina would not let her gain the advantage; her friends were worn out from the encounter with the Brood mother, she was tired and another extended fight was going to kill them and she wasn’t about to die down here for some petty political argument.

Branka screamed, clutching her mangled hand to her as Awina directed her will at the control rod, filling it with so much power that the vessel exploded. The golems stopped and went back to sleep, the dwarven Paragon falling to one knee and glaring at her angrily.

“The Anvil is mine!!!” She snarled, getting up and going for her weapon with her working hand.

However, she never reached it. Her whole body froze, muscles in her neck straining and face turning red from the apparent effort. Wynne made a horrified noise as she realizes what was happening to the woman.

“Awina stop it!” She shouted in a combination of fear and anger.

“The Anvil was never yours! You left your entire house to be killed and raped by the Darkspawn!”

“They served their purpose! This… this was for the greater good of our people! What’s a few bodies along the trail?” Branka hissed smugly, lips twisted in a disgusting smile.

Awina’s temper flared and the dwarven woman doubled over, crying out in agony. Leliana saw the veins becoming darker around Awina’s eyes. Her concentration broke when she had to spin and block the spell Wynne had thrown at her, alarmed by the mage. Branka collapsed on the ground, coughing and still bleeding from her mangled hand. The veins along her face returned to normal but Awina was breathing hard, already pushed to the limit of her endurance.

“What the hell Wynne?!” Leliana protested angrily.

“Leliana, it’s fine. I’ll explain afterwards. I need to speak with Caridin.” She said turning away for a moment then looking back. “Make sure Branka doesn’t go anywhere.”

The metal golem got to his feet, easily towering over them. Awina bowed as she approached him. He regarded her blankly but she could feel his spirit and the burden it had shouldered for years. She swallowed the thick knot in her throat, uncertain if she’d be able to convince him to do the impossible. It was asking a lot, keeping the anvil.

“Caridin. I need your help, desperately.” She started.

“There is nothing I can offer you, mage. You have fought and bled your way here for nothing.” He retorted dismissively.

“I would agree with you, that the Anvil of the Void should be destroyed. The sound… I can hear the voices of those forced under its hammer, including yours. But… I need it. The dwarves need it, all of Thedas does. Golems would decide the fate of us all against this Blight.” Awina protested as gently as possible.

“Never! I should have destroyed this myself years ago but I could not bring myself. I have no cares for the world now. No one can be trusted with the Anvil.”

“But you can. You built it for a reason. All the golems were volunteers. You didn’t twist its nature, someone else did! The Anvil can serve a noble purpose again!!” She pressed, realizing she was losing him.

“And why do you want the Anvil so badly? Like her, driven by selfish greed? Or did some king send you down here to add to his power?” Caridin shot back accusingly.

“I am trying to save Ferelden!” Awina shouted, glaring right up at him. “No one is prepared, here or above, and all I have is pieces of old paper of forgotten oaths and promises. I am expected to stop the Arch Demon with only my companions and whoever is willing to pick up a sword against a threat no one believes in anymore.”

Caridin regarded the mage before him again, seeing the haunted look in her gaze, the pieces of her missing that no other could see. Her journey here had changed her, forced her to do unspeakable things to save souls who would not appreciate it. She was asking much and he was tired and weary, yet he could have destroyed himself and the Anvil at any time.

“Caridin, please… I wouldn’t ask this unless there was some other way. The Blight has to stop in Ferelden… even if it means the entire country burns to do so.” Awina was practically begging at this point, trying to convince Caridin to see past his regret. “You protected the Anvil all this time for a reason.”

“And what would you say, Shale? Are things so dire above?”

To their surprise, Caridin revealed Shale’s history, even pointed out the golem’s name on the wall. Her name. Shale explained her perspective of things and the group held their collective breaths in apprehension. No one was certain how Shale felt about the quest of the Grey Wardens but in the end, she convinces Caridin that Awina was worth trusting. As a show of faith, Caridin forged a crown upon the anvil for her to give to whoever was chosen to lead the dwarves. Most believed it was going to be Harrowmont, as they had reluctantly backed the dwarf in the Proving but Awina was not so certain who she would chose now. However, her mind focused on a more pressing matter.

“Paragon Branka. How far you’ve fallen…” She said softly, standing over the dwarf.

“And are you my executioner, Warden? The Anvil of the Void would have been the greatest recovery of the century! We could take back our homes from the Darkspawn and you’ve stolen that form us!” Branka spat angrily.

“The Anvil is not for making slaves. I’ll destroy it myself if I suspect anyone of doing so. You… you deserve a fate far worse than death or prison.” Awina retorted threateningly.

“Awina if you use blood magic again, I will fight you.” Wynne warned, alarming both Leliana and Zevran.

“Don’t waste your effort Wynne. You have no idea what I’ve seen… what I’ve had to suffer through to survive down here, alone. I am not going to torture or kill her, I’m just going to give her what she deserves.” The warden said, her tone unnervingly calm.

Those silver eyes looked upon Wynne expectantly, challenging her to confront her. The elder mage looked at her sternly, then her gaze lowered and she did nothing. Awina rounded on Branka, scowling darkly. She cut her palm deep enough to draw blood, clenching and unclenching to ensure enough flowed. The dwarven woman shrank back from her but Awina shoved the cut in her face, clenching her hand over her mouth and ensuring she was forced to ingest her tainted blood.

“Awnia!” Leliana called in horror, stunned by what she had done.

“Now you’ll suffer like the ones you abandoned Branka. The rest of your miserable life will be spent down here, unable to return to Orzammar.” Awina growled as she shoved her to the ground.

With a dismayed cry, Branka scrambled to her feet and ran. There was no calm that settled around them but a tense unease as the woman they looked to as leader was not the person they thought they knew. What stood in her place was a Grey Warden, forged by the seething darkness of the Deep Roads with one purpose; to destroy the Blight… at any cost.


	16. Her First Sacrifice

The warmth of the sun was a welcome friend as they emerged from the mountain gates of Orzammar, though Oghren was unsettled by the vast sky looming above them, having spent his entire life underground. The group was incredibly uneasy and Wynne gave Awina a wide berth now. In fact, the young mage had said very little since they handed the crown over. Again, she startled them by calling both Harrowmont and Beheln together and throwing the crown on the ground between them. She refused to be a pawn in their political game.

“You can kill each other for all I care but I will come back for the dwarven armies and Caridin’s golems when we’re ready to fight the Blight. You have until then to find your place in Thedas’s future.”

Her statement had sounded more like a threat and after seeing what she was capable of, Leliana feared that’s what it had been. However, what pained the bard’s heart was how distant her lover was, only allowing Maxis at her side the entire journey back to Redcliffe. Their journey was relatively undisturbed, though pockets of Darkspawn scouts were becoming more frequent and Awina was insistent on hunting them down with a zeal she had not displayed before. When Redcliffe Keep came into sight, there was a collective sigh of relief but no one was sure how to explain their tale to Alistiar, Morrigan, and Sten, whom they had left here.

The village was recovering and Awina was surprised to see Dalish elves camping on the outskirts as well as mages tending to the wounded, under the supervision of the Templars of course. The army against the Blight was mustering and seeing the fruits of her labors starting to blossom made her feel hopeful. She glanced quickly back at Leliana, a brief flicker of longing in her expression that those blue eyes did not fail to miss but she quickly adverted her gaze. She desperately longed to touch her would-be lover after the Deep Roads but she stayed her hand, electing to wait until she explained what happened to all her companions.

“It’s good to see you return. Did everything go well with the dwarves?” Teagan greeted them in the courtyard.

“Worse than we expected but we got more than we could have hoped for.” Awina responded, clapping him on the shoulder. “I better speak with Alistair and the others.”

He escorted them all into the main hall, where Alistair, Morrigan, and Sten were waiting with Arl Eamon. The two Wardens looked upon each other and something seemed to pass between them. He swallowed thickly and saluted her.

“Warden-Commander.” Alistair greeted a bit mockingly.

“Alistair, are you trying to give me grey hairs before we even have this war?” She asks in equal jest, jabbing him in the ribs.

“I take it your venture was successful? The dwarves will answer their obligation to the Grey Wardens?” Eamon cut in, getting directly to the point.

“Yes and more so. There is… quite a tale I owe you all and thought it best to wait until we were reunited before telling it. I’d rather not have to retell it more than once.” Awina replied somberly, Maxis whining as he picked upon her sudden distress and melancholy.

They all sat at a table and food and drink were brought out, which eased the tension in the air slightly. Leliana sat next to her, hand on Awina’s knee and she welcomed the touch. Once the meal was finished, Awina loudly cleared her throat. She tossed a weather journal onto the table and sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Alistair recognized it as well as the lack of a particular item.

“Awina… what happened?” He asked cautiously.

“I got separated from the group when a tunnel collapsed while we were traversing the Deep Roads. That… that place is a living hell; it’s a Darkspawn hive.” She started, her words sticking in her throat. “They captured me and dragged me to the keep and locked me up in that dungeon. I didn’t know why but I quickly learned why.”

There was a long pause and Leliana felt her quaking underneath her hand. Whatever had happened must have been truly terrible; worse than her experiences in Haven. Awina took a deep breath and grabbed her goblet and guzzeled down the wine, her hand visibly shaking. Even Wynne, who had been furious and frightened of the mage, was now listening raptly.

“Darkspawn are bred from us… They must steal women from all over Thedas and… Maker, they force feed them tainted blood and flesh, then… then…” She chokes on what she’s about to say, hot tears stinging her eyes as she clenches her jaws. “The Alphas come and rape them, if they’re lucky to survive the force feeding. Elves, humans, dwarves, and qunari; Darkspawn are bred from us. If… if the female endures the torture, the Taint transforms her into a Broodmother and she keeps birthing Darkspawn.”

“By the Maker! That… I never would have imagined that… that’s what…” Leliana choked, trying to fathom the horror.

“Did…” the question, surprisingly, came from Morrigan. “Did they attempt to turn you?”

Awina’s jaw tightened and she swallowed. Her left eye twitched, Leliana recognizing it as she was about to tell a lie… or at least attempt to obscure the truth. Her mage was never a good liar.

“I escaped before they had the chance. I used magic to break out of my cell and kill any Darkspawn that tried to stop me. I… I used the information in Avernus’s journal, about using the Taint and blood magic in accordance. It was the only way I could sustain myself and survive until I found you… guys trying to enter the keep. I had also run into Hespith and learned what Branka had done and I knew she had to pay for it.”

“That’s why you were using blood magic?!” Wynne said. “Some ill-conceived sense of justice?!”

“She deserved worse than what I gave her and she would have abused the Anvil for her own means! She used her house as fodder to get past the protections Caridin had set and the Darkspawn!” Awina shouted, slamming her hands on the table as she stood.

Wynne fell silent, as did the whole table. Even Sten said nothing through the entire tale and Awina was visibly shaking as she stared down Wynne.

“Don’t you DARE lecture me! I know what you really are, Wynne and you have no damn right to look down upon me because I did what I had to survive and ensure this war doesn’t fail before it begins.” She snarled before storming out of the hall.

Everyone was stunned but Leliana hopped to her feet and chased after her. She caught up with Awina as she reached the courtyard, the cool night air and sharp contrast to the warm hearth in the hall.

“Awina! Wait!” the bard called after her, her voice making the mage pause mid-stride.

“Leliana…” She started to say, her words silenced by the bard’s mouth over hers, fingers tangling in her hair to keep her from running.

“I won’t let you run from me this time.” She hissed, breaking the contact enough to utter the words in a vehement tone before kissing her again. They only parted for the searing need for air in their lungs. Awina stared at her, that familiar lyrium glow to her eyes whenever the light was dim or dark.

“I was so scared I’d never find you and then you don’t want to be near me…”

“Because I am a monster. I broke everything I believe in by engaging in Blood Magic. I feared…”

“You are no monster, Awina. You love me, yes?” Leliana murmured against her mouth.

“I love you more than the air I breathe.” She replied quickly, a disappointed whine escaping her as Leliana teasingly ducked her attempt to lock them in another kiss.

“Mmm, you’re getting better with your poetry, mon Cherie. Promise you will not run from me again like that?” Leliana begged, wrapping her arms tightly around her, sighing happily as she felt the mage’s arms around her.

“I promise I will never run or hide anything from you again.” Awina said, her sincerity loud and clear.

The moment, however, was over as Awina looked up and saw Wynne coming down the stairs. Her temper flared but she stayed herself and pried Leliana off of her. They both glared at the elder mage with open contempt and Wynne had the grace to look somewhat admonished.

“Awina, may we speak in private?” She asked in a sheepish tone.

“It’s alright Leliana.” The mage assured her lover, squeezing her hand and kissing her on the cheek, leaning close to whisper. “Do not lock your door.”

The suggestive statement made a shiver run down Leliana’s spine, a sensation she hadn’t felt in a very long time and it set her heart to pounding. She left the two of them to talk and they waited a long while to assure the crafty bard was out of earshot before proceeding.

“Awina, I am sorry. You’re right, I have no place to talk. I just feared…” Wynne started by Awina interrupted her.

“That I had become like Uldric. No… no demon is involved in my… practice, though I’m sure I’ve gotten their attention. I loathe the idea of using it again but when I must, it is only against Darkspawn.” Awina tried to assure her.

“And Branka?”

“That was not blood magic. I simply forced her to ingest my blood.” Awina retorted, sighing quite heavily.

“I see. What…  about Avernus’s research?” The old mage asked cautiously.

“I drank the vial he had created. I needed power to survive Wynne and I sure as hell was not going to use a demon for it. His research illustrated and instructed how to use blood magic, primarily focused on the Taint as a replacement source for lyrium.”

The pair fell silent for a little while, an awkward energy settling between them. Awina studied Wynne for a bit, noticing the ethereal glow surrounding her. It was warm and benevolent, but she could sense a purpose within that light.

“When did you die, Wynne?” Awina asked gently, her expression softer.

“When Uldred attacked the tower. He was far stronger than any of us expected and when he targeted the little ones, I…” Wynne replied softly, her voice choking on the memory.

“I always wondered if the spirits of the Fade could be inspired to action but to think to, essentially, create the reverse of a Reaver is unheard of.” Awina observed, her curiosity for the mysteries of the Fade starting to return.

“I am living on borrowed time. I suppose the spirit believed I was meant to accomplish something before my untimely demise.”

“I suppose so. Does it ever speak to you?”

“No, you know, it never has.” Wynne replied after giving it some thought. “When did you discover my condition?”

“When we met you though I wasn’t sure what to make of it until that incident on the road, with those Darkspawn that ambushed us. That’s when I really felt the actual spirit and understood the connection it shares with you.” Awina replied whimsically.

“You shouldn’t keep Leliana waiting much longer. She’s been incredibly patient with you.” Wynne said with an air of amusement.

“What?”

The old woman chuckled and patted Awina on the top of her head, like she a child. The warden gave her an embarrassed yet puzzled look before the intention of her words dawned on her. She blustered, more of her old self showing through the armored shell of the Grey Warden that had emerged with them from the Deep Roads.

“Just try not to cause two much of a ruckus. You both are incredibly passionate women.” Wynne chided, making her flush worse.

“Wynne! I’m not a child!” Awina protested.

“No, you’re not but I’ve seen the way you two look at each other and can only imagine the madness you two must be feeling. I was young once.” The old mage teased. “Go on, go to her. She missed you the most.”

Awina gave the older woman a very perplexed look, cheeks still burning pink. Wynne laughed and shooed her away, leaving the mage little choice but to go pay Leliana a visit. As she had ‘instructed’, the door to the bard’s room was open. Leliana was, strangely, perched on the window sill, reading a book by the light of the moon. Awina shut the door behind her carefully and just watched her, back pressed against the wood while she leaned back.

“Is everything alright with Wynne?” Leliana asked, without looking up from her book.

“Yes, things are fine now.” Awina replied softly, crossing the room and gently taking the book from her. “Are you afraid of me like the others?”

“I could never be afraid of you.” Leliana whispered, running fingers through the mage’s silky black hair.

“You don’t need to lie to me.”

Leliana was surprised by her perception and couldn’t help a smile; she was growing out of her youthful innocence very rapidly. The horrors of the Deep Roads had expediated that but she was not afraid of the mage and her capabilities. No, Leliana was afraid that, soon, she would discover what she truly was, and the mage’s heart would be forever out of her grasp. She slid down from the window sill and wrapped her arms around Awina’s neck, drawing her close for a kiss. The woman responded in kind, tongues exploring each other as the mage drew her close. A soft hiss escaped Leliana as she felt the mage’s hand slip under her tunic and press against the small of her back and immediately pushed her away. The flicker of heart that raced through those soft silver eyes made her heart twist.

“I’m… not ready.” Leliana said lamely, unable to voice the truth.

“It’s ok. We can just lay down, if you want me to stay.” Awina offered, sensing her unease and smiling wanly as she noticed the tension lax in Leliana’s shoulders at her suggestion.

They moved to the bed, Awina pausing to take off her boots and dress down to her tunic and breeches before climbing into bed with the bard. Leliana sidled up to her, throwing an arm over her stomach as she rested her head against her shoulder. Awina hook her left arm under her and gently stroked her back, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Leliana wanted to this moment to last forever and for the night, they both forgot about the ominous task that lay before them come morning.


	17. A Hook in the Heel

“You really think this will work?” Alistair asked dubiously, not liking the mischievous smile on Morrigan’s face.

“We don’t have much of a choice, Alistair.” Awina reminded him. “We can’t just waltz around Denerim to meet Arl Eamon. Loghain will execute us in the streets.”

“What are you so afraid of? I’ve used many a spell on you, to your benefit.” Morrigan teased, poking him in the middle of his chest plate.

“But it’s my face! I quite like my face, thank you very much.” He complained, rubbing at the scraggly stubble he had yet to shave off his chin. “Knowing you, it’s going to hurt.”

“Stop being a baby, Alistair. It’s not going to hurt and it’s only for a few seconds, just to ensure we get a look no one will recognize.” Wynne stopped him, admonishing the Warden as one would a misbehaving child.

“How come you don’t have to do this Awina?!”

“I’m not good at illusion spells and Morrigan can only maintain one instance of the spell. So I’ll be going as something they wouldn’t recognize anyway.” Awina retorted.

As if to emphasize her point, Awina’s form shimmered and shrank until she was the size of a hawk, one indigenous to the area. The only way anyone could remotely think it was her was the fact her eyes remained silver. Cawing loudly, Awina flapped up onto Leliana’s outstretched arm, where the bard cooed and stroked a finger over her beak.

“She does make a lovely hunting bird.” The Orlesian giggled, Awina gently nibbling on her finger in protest.

“That’s completely unfair,” Alistair mumbled.

“Just hold still you buffoon… else I might make your nose crooked or something.” Morrigan warned with a wicked smile, making Alistair cringe away from her.

While Wynne and Morrigan worked on the spell to mask Alistair’s appearance, Leliana took a walk with Awina perched on her shoulder. The bard had to admit, her animal appearances were always fetching, though it seemed she was starting to prefer the form of a black hawk with a pale cream belly, as opposed to Morrigan’s raven form. She clicked her beak and took off with a tremendous leap, talons barely raking the shoulder pad of her leather cuirass. Leliana watched as her lover caught a warm pocket of air and rocketed into the sky, circling as she scouted. However, she wasn’t gone for more than a few seconds before she came diving down, form shimmering back into her normal body.

“Did you see more Darkspawn?” Leliana asked, noticing her serious look and how her hand immediately went to the hilt of Starfang.

“Not darkspawn. Looked to be highwaymen, likely taking advantage of people escaping to Denerim. We’ll run into them in maybe an hour, once Morrigan is done rearranging Alistair’s face.” Awina reported.

“How many?”

“Not a lot. I counted five. It’s flat open country, so they have nowhere to hide aside from a couple of carts they’ve likely ransacked. We should go let the others know.” She started to say but Leliana took a firm hold of her arm as the Warden tried to walk past her.

“Leliana?”

“You and I could clear them out, with Maxis along just in case. Not everything has to result in bloodshed my love.” Leliana told her.

“Is that wise? Not that I don’t think we can handle such rabble.” Awina asked, piqued by the bard’s behavior.

“Come, let’s see if we can soothe them before savagery ensues.”

Awina whistled for Maxis to come to her and once the mabari joined them, the pair and the hound walked down the road. Leliana spotted the ambush site, though no one was attempting to hide. As they drew closer, everyone rose to attention and she could get a better look at them. The highwaymen were dressed in salvaged bits of armor and leather, a couple in just cloth. Only a couple had actual weapons while the rest were wielding repurposed farm tools that had seen much better days. Leliana and Awina stopped well out of reach, considering none of them appeared to be wielding any kind of bow or crossbow.

“Ho thar travelers. Highways closed by order of da king, unless ya got the crossin’ fee!” A man missing his front teeth and hefting a pitted longsword shouted towards them.

“The king’s dead!” Leliana shouted back.

“Loghain’s king now and these are his roads! If ya ain’t got the fee, perhaps ya can pay us with your pretty bodies.” He sneers, the others laughing.

“Disgusting.” Awina snorted, wrinkling her nose with disgust and Maxis growling.

Before Leliana could respond, the man lurched forward and gurgled, an arrow suddenly sprouting from the side of his throat. The rest of the highwayman jumped in alarm as their leader fell, grabbing their weapons and attacking them. Leaving the pair, no choice, Awina drew Starfang while Leliana pulled her daggers from their sheaths. It was not much of a fight since they possessed no fighting skills in the slightest, but they left Warden and bard little choice.

Awina felled her final opponent and heard the clash, the man armed with another sword giving her a bit of trouble. Maxis barked, looking behind Awina and that’s when she heard the horse. Startled, she turned around and saw a finger much further away on horseback. She squinted, trying to make out who they might be since it was not Darkspawn. A moment later, she realized they were using a longbow and she instinctively turned and sprinted forward. The man fighting Leliana fell gurgling to the ground, clutching at his sliced throat. She yelped when she was tackled to the ground, Awina crying out in pain as the arrow slammed into the back of her right shoulder, the tip piercing through her armor to bury the steelhead into her flesh.

“Awina!” Leliana cried in alarm as the Warden picked herself up.

“I… I’m fine.” She growled, reaching back and snapping the arrow shaft off.

Awina spun back to see that the rider was long gone, muttering a curse under her breath. Leliana had not seen the rider and was more concerned about the wound Awina was now sporting. The armor had absorbed most of the impact, keeping the penetration of the arrow shallow.

“It doesn’t look deep but we should get back so Wynne can take care of it,” Leliana reported worriedly.

“Yes… let’s go back.” Awina said.

Leliana noticed the broken arrow on the ground and her blood suddenly turned to ice; she recognized the fletching on the arrow. Not believing herself, she bent and picked up the arrow. It couldn’t be… but the fletching was unmistakable, even after all these years. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Leliana hurried to catch up with Awina.

Of course, the group asked where they had gone and why Awina was coming back with an arrowhead embedded in her. Though it was a relief that nothing serious happened to either of them but Leliana was deeply disturbed and drew Zevran and a small distance away while Wynne tended to Awina’s injury and they packed up the camp.

“You look as if you’ve seen a ghost, Leliana.” The antivan commented, noting the cracks in her usual façade of calm.

“She’s here, in Ferelden. I’m sure of it.” Leliana said quietly, handing him the arrow shaft she had retrieved. “That’s her fletching, I’d know it anywhere.”

“Your bardmaster? Do you think…” Zevran said worriedly, taking the arrow and inspecting it himself. “Yes, I see where you get the style from.”

“Marjolaine is here. She… she must have learned I’m following the Wardens. I am certain she will be in Denerim, stalking me.” Leliana said worriedly. “Maker, if she learns about Awina and me… she’ll…”

“We’ll prevent it Leliana. I will help you safeguard our friends against her. I don’t know if she’s tangled with many Crows but I have skills of my own we can put to use. Are you sure you do not wish to tell her now?”

“No. If we distract them from the Landsmeet… too much is at stake right now. I will handle this, with your help.” Leliana sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Thank you Zevran.”

However, Leliana did not feel reassured in the slightest about this grave danger she had now placed them all in.


	18. A Complicated Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the Landsmeet but Awina and Alistair are short on allies and Denerim has become a breeding ground of chaos. The start of their troubles begins with a missing Queen...

“That’s the estate.” Wynne announced, recognizing the Redcliffe Estate from past visits to the city of Denerim.

A collective sigh of relief left the group and the glossy black bird perched on Leliana’s shoulder fluttered in relief. The tension in the city was palpable… a powder keg waiting for an errant spark to trigger catastrophe. All through the streets, they heard whispers of plague and war, the Banns and Lords quarreling over their fates as Loghain fanned the flames. Arl Eamon was waiting for them at the top of the stairs overlooking the courtyard when they heard armored footsteps catching up behind them. To the group’s horror, Loghain was at the head of a company of soldiers. At his side were his lieutenant, Ser Cauthrien, and Rendon Howe. Alistair tensed, wondering if someone had seen through his disguise.

“Where are the Wardens? I know you’ve invited those traitors here, Eamon.” Loghain spat, livid with anger.

“They are my guests! You have no rights barging into my house, especially after the underhanded stunt to take my life you attempted.” Eamon said back, towering over them from his position on the stairs.

“The Wardens and any who follow them are a threat to Ferelden! You will hand them over now or face the consequences Eamon!!” the man shouted angrily.

Eamon would not yield, some of his guard coming out and drawing weapons as it appeared a fight would soon explode with them caught in the middle. Leliana felt the weight lift from her shoulder and watched as the black eagle launched into the air and swooped low, form shimmering into that of Awina, Starfang glowing in her hand. When she landed, a shockwave rippled through the very air, catching all but them off guard. Loghain stared at her in disbelief, having not realized one of the surviving Wardens was a mage and his men took a large step back and lowered their weapons.

“Enough! You are welcome to arrest us, kingslayer, but is it really worth losing your men and embarrassing yourself to all of Denerim before the Landsmeet?” Awina threatened, their eyes locked on each other.

“Grrr…”

“I know you’re afraid.” She said in a hushed voice as she boldly walked close enough to Loghain to be within reach of his blade, if he chose to draw it. “We know the truth and soon, everyone will know that you’ve brought doom to their doorsteps. You’ll be remembered as a traitor, not a hero.” Awina growled at him.

Loghain’s face contorted in absolute rage but he did not lash out at her. Instead, he turned his back to her and stormed off, his retinue following. Howe caste her a very dark look over his shoulder but soon, they were well out of sight, retreating to the castle.

“That was incredibly foolish of you Awina.” Wynne chided, the entire group tense through the whole exchange as they expected Loghain to attempt killing her.

“It was a risk but needed. Our battlefield will be the Landsmeet and any incidents he causes will look unfavorably upon him. Come, let us discuss how we may sway the odds in our favor.” She replied, looking just as relieved as the rest of them.

Arl Eamon escorted them to a meeting chamber in the north wing of his estate. Leliana and Zevran were both impressed with how isolated it was, proving a challenge for even the most skilled of assassins and bards to sneak in here unnoticed to steal secrets. Alistair complained about the disguise but Awina insisted it remained on, as Loghain was focused on her and there was no need to risk Alistair until they were ready for the Landsmeet itself. Trouble was rife in the city, which would provide them opportunity to win allies they would need in this battle of politics.

And as if a gift from the Maker, their first opportunity arrived in the form of one of the queen’s handmaidens; an elven woman named Erlina. Queen Anora had been taken hostage by Arl Howe, with all intentions of murdering her and blaming Arl Eamon and the Wardens.

“So, Anora was suspicious of her father.” Leliana spoke, having chewed on the information.

“Do you think Loghain would have ordered this? Against his own daughter?” Zevran asked, a mild hint of surprise in his voice.

“It is hard to say. This is not the man I knew in all my years, since Maric was king. He has lost his mind and in the wake of the Darkspawn, he will lead us all to our end soon.” Eamon retorted, also not pleased with the information.

“Then we must rescue the Queen, now,” Awina announced, bringing everyone’s attention on her. “Loghain will have one less bargaining chip and perhaps Queen Anora will be more amicable to aiding us… even if it is against her father.”

“You do not have much time. There is no telling what Rendon will do… and when.” Erlina pressed worriedly, wringing her hands together.

After another discussion, this one more tactical to lay out a course of action for rescuing Anora, Awina, Leliana, and Zevran would be infiltrating the Howe Estate to, hopefully, remove Anora from his clutches unnoticed and bring her safely back to Arl Eamon’s estate. Leliana studied Erlina as she leads them to the outskirts of the estate, an inkling of suspicion tickling at the back of her mind. There was a mob at the front gates, shouting and throwing things at the wall. The elven woman led them to a side path used by the servants and not as heavily guarded, though getting past the guards would be a problem.

“Around that corner, there are some guard uniforms for you. They should fit… mostly. I had to get them short notice.” Erlina instructed, pointing off to her left.

The three exchanged looks and followed her instructions, finding three sets of armor. Some pieces barely fit but it was enough to work with and pass through… if no one looked too closely at them.

“This is going to chafe something fierce.” Awina grumbled, feeling something pinching at her inner thigh every time she moved.

“Leliana can soothe that for you after we’re done. I’m sure her mouth has many… ow!” Zevran said, only to have Leliana interrupt him with a sharp cuff to his helm.

“Focus. We have a very delicate mission to attend to.” The Orlesian chided him, though she couldn’t help casting a mischievous smile at her lover at the thought of having her mouth between the mage’s legs.

They waited there until Erlina led the guards away, permitting them to slip onto the estate grounds unnoticed. Once they were inside the actual estate, they had another problem… finding where Anora was being held. Zevran and Leliana debated that she was either being held in the dungeons below or in a private room on the upper floors, which would likely be well guarded. Awina, however, felt something a bit… amiss. No, it wasn’t amiss just something that shouldn’t belong here. Leliana noticed the scrunched brow on her face and shushed Zevran.

“What is it Awina?” She asked quietly.

“I sense magic… strong magic. Arl Howe must have mages here, though I can’t imagine where he got them. There’s something down this hall shrouded in magic.” She reports, gaze settling on the direction she felt the energy from.

Following her lead, Awina led them to the end of the hall, where they found an unguarded door. It was locked tight and neither Leliana nor Zevran could pick the lock, as an unseen force would immediately repel their attempts. They heard stirring on the other side and a voice through the obstruction a moment later.

“W-who’s there?” A nervous voice called.

“Queen Anora?” Awina replied, pressing against the door to hear her better and so her voice would carry.

“Yes! You’re not one of Rendon Howe’s men, are you?”

“No. Erlina asked for our help in freeing you and getting you to Arl Eamon’s estate, safely.”

“Eamon’s alive? Thank the Maker. Howe has this door locked with magic.” Anora said with relief, glad she would be free soon.

“I’m aware however I cannot dispel it without drawing a great deal of attention. The mage who cast this will know I’ve broken it.” Awina grumbled after inspecting the seal more carefully. “We’re going to have to find the mage.”

“Then you’ll have to find Rendon. He is likely in his basement, as I’ve overheard a conversation that he likes to… torture people down there. The mages are likely not far from his sight.” Anora offered, which was incredibly helpful information.

“We’ll be back as soon as we’ve dealt with the mage.”

On their way, Leliana nosed around in a couple of rooms, hoping to find something incriminating or otherwise give them aid against Loghain in the Landsmeet. She was surprised, however, to discover documents pertaining to the Grey Wardens, recognizing the seals and language on them belonging to Orlais. She pulled Zevran and Awnia both into the room, shutting the door behind them so no one would notice them in here and grow suspicious. She handed Awina the documents and translated as she looked them over, a look of chagrin passing over the mage’s features.

“Loghain’s blocked the Orelsian Wardens at the border!!” She growled. “All of this because he’s imagined some invasion from Orlais.”

“Well… to give the man credit, he spent a great deal of effort fighting the Orlesians off Ferelden soil.” Zevran commented, amending his statement when he received a withering look from Awina. “Of course, that does not absolve him of his madness.”

“They had to have sent a messenger, one Duncan was waiting for. Perhaps Loghain had him captured and Howe also has him imprisoned here?” Leliana steered the conversation back on point, soothing some of Awina’s rage.

“If he does, that would be of immense help. I’ll bring this back to Eamon and Alistair, they both should see these.”

They left the room, the documents carefully tucked away under Awina’s armor. Their path to the basement was unhindered, as none of the other guards paid much attention to them. As soon as they were downstairs, Zevran barricaded the door and Awina sealed it with a spell. They could not permit anyone to escape to raise the alarm.

Arl Howe’s basement was, indeed, a prison. Just past the initial storage room, there were cells with rusted bars and the heavy iron scent of blood. Awina felt something familiar here and turned her attention to a cell just to her left, noticing a man inside. His tunic and trousers were torn and flecked with dried blood and filth. His hair and beard were filthy and matted, lips cracked from dehydration and yet his steel grey eyes held no despair as he looked up and their gazes met.

“You… you’re a Grey Warden!” Awina said in disbelief, recognizing the subtle marks of the Taint in the slightly darker veins around his eyes and the ‘bond’ she could hear whispering from him.

“It seems the Maker has finally heard me.” He says with relief as he gets to shaky feet. “Though, I suspect you are not here to rescue me specifically.”

“It is believed there are only two Wardens left. Awina, the documents.” Leliana replied.

Awina fetched the parchments from her armor and passed them through the cell bars to him. In the dim light, the man seemed to be having trouble reading so Awina summoned a small speck of light from the palm of her hand. He thanked her quietly and read the paper over.

“I recognize these… though things are worse than I fear. The Blight is coming, isn’t it?” He asked somberly, passing the papers back to her.

“Yes. I used the treaties Duncan had us retrieve but it may not be enough. We came to Denerim in hopes of stopping the civil war and reuniting the country to face them before it shows up on our doorstep.” Awina replied just as darkly.

“Dire indeed. Loghain has effectively blocked the Orlesian reinforcements King Cailan and Warden Duncan had requested, and they will be too late to arrive now.” He sighed, one hand holding to the bars. “I was foolish to be lured by Arl Howe’s promise of parley. Help me out of here and I can assist you with the Archdemon, once I have seen a healer.”

“I would welcome your wisdom and sword in this crisis… however, there is no escaping until we’ve dealt with Rendon Howe first.” Awina said, grimacing a bit. “You will have to remain here until the task is done. We cannot risk someone raising the alarm.”

“Ah, so the hospitable Arl has an important guest staying here. I will wait for you and trust in your return. Be careful… Howe is a clever man and has as much guile as a bard.” He warned.

Leliana swallowed nervously at the mention of ‘bard’ from the man, catching Zevran’s eye sliding to her for a moment. The action was completely unnoticed by Awina, as she had already turned away and was already going deeper into the dungeons. Leliana and Zevran quickly took the lead, being more trained in the methods of stealth and subterfuge… as well as assassination. They quietly dispatched any guards they found hindering their path until they came to a large room that was clearly used for Howe’s twisted and sadistic amusements. As Anora had suspected, the mage was with him, but they had not counted on two of them.

“Those are Tevinters. The hell are they doing in Ferelden?” Zevran hissed, noticing the unusual garb they were wearing.

“That does not bode well,” Leliana whispered back, glancing at Awina. “Will you be able to handle them?”

“I will deal with them. Focus on trying to capture Howe alive but I feel he will force our hand in this. Few will likely mourn his death from the looks of things here.”

It was difficult to ambush a room, but the element of surprise gave the three of them a few precious seconds to launch their attack. The mages were more skilled than they had encountered before but the Tevinters accompanying Howe had not been expecting a mage who was skilled in both blade and arts they had not encountered before. Howe’s guile translated into his battle skills, constantly disappearing into the flickering shadows of the room and trying to ambush Leliana or Zevran from flanking positions, making him a difficult mark to keep track of. The room was absolute chaos, spells crackling in the air and destroying some of the torture equipment, Howe’s blades a near-silent strike from the shadows.

One of the Tevinter’s staves made a sharp snap as Starfang cleaved through it, fizzling out the mage’s spell. He started to back away from her, defenseless but Awina’s blade found its way effortlessly through his chest. She rounded on the second, but she caught a glimpse of Howe just about to lunge at Leliana and panic gripped her heart, the world suddenly focusing down to her bard.

“Leliana!!” She cried in alarm as if to warn her, but the warning was too late.

The bard hesitates for a second, crystal eyes looking towards Awina and Howe’s blade slices into her back. Her leather curiass absorbed most of the blow but he knew where to strike, carving a bloody curve line along her shoulder. The bard fell with a cry and all Awina saw was red as Howe stood over her triumphantly. She wasn’t even sure what spell she cast but it was one of Morrigan’s more deadlier entropy spells. Howe lurched back, dropping his daggers and clawing at his throat as he suddenly couldn’t breathe. His skin started to turn ashen as he collapsed but Awina ignored him as she ran to Leliana’s side, falling to her knees and hands immediately going to the bleeding wound on her back. The surviving mage thought he had the advantage but failed to notice the Antivan lurking behind him and his advantage was quickly lost as his throat was sliced.

“Leliana! Oh, Maker…” Awina muttered, seeing how much blood was covering her back.

“I… I’ve had worse,” Leliana grunted through gritted teeth, trying not to move.

Without saying much else, Awina retrieved a healing poultice from her belt and poured it over the wound to soothe the pain while she worked on stitching the cut flesh back together. She was not very good with healing spells but she knew enough of rudimentary principles she was able to perform the spell but it was slow… nothing like Wynne’s skill. Minutes felt like hours and Awina was sweating from the effort but after some time, the wound was nothing more than a pale line along Leliana’s back. The tear in her cuirass, however, provided the mage a brief glimpse at a crisscrossing map of scars along her bard’s back and her heart twisted in anger as she stared at them… until Leliana got to her feet and turned towards her.

“That… that was lucky. I should have been more careful around Howe.” Leliana grumbled, displeased with her own carelessness in the battle.

“Well, he paid for that quite painfully from the looks of it.” Zevran noted, Howe’s face twisted in agony as he lay lifeless on the ground.

“Less than he deserves honestly.” Awina spat sourly. “The seal on Anora’s room should be gone now but it seems there are other prisoners here. Let’s collect some of the guard uniforms, since this became a larger rescue mission than expected.”

Howe had other prisoners; a noble man’s son, a lyrium starved templar, and a young elven man from the Denerim Alienage. After getting them dressed in the uniforms, they went back up into the estate, retrieving Anora. The queen wasn’t exactly pleased with their plan, but they had no real alternative. The problem, however, was this many people could not get out the way they had come in unnoticed. Even disguised as guards, a dim-witted fool would grow suspicious.

“Leliana, Zevran… wait in the room until I have all the guards’ attention.” Awina said, removing Starfang from her belt and handing it to Leliana.

“Awina, what are you doing?” The bard asked her, confused as she held the sword.

“You need a distraction to get out of here. I’ll raise the alarm, which should allow you to get everyone out safely and to Arl Eamon’s estate. It’ll also keep the guard busy, so no one will notice Anora’s escaped.” Awina explained briefly, taking her helm off and tossing it aside, glad to be rid of the thing.

“This is a very dangerous gamble you’re taking Awina. Loghain wants you dead.” Zevran warned, just as unsure of this plan of hers as Leliana was.

“We don’t really have much choice. I’ll be alright, however. Now go and be ready to move.” Awina said, giving an apologetic look to Leliana before turning back and heading for the basement.

The mage retrieved Howe’s desiccated corpse and, with some effort, hauled it up over her shoulder to carry. She walked through the entire estate towards the front courtyard, ensuring guards saw her but they were too frightened to approach when they saw who was slung over her shoulder and the state he was in. Once she was in the center, Awina tossed Howe’s corpse into the dirt and looked at the guards standing dumbfoundedly at the gate.

“I suggest you go fetch the guard at the castle… oh, and the estate is on fire.” Awina announced just as smoke started billowing from one of the windows… having kicked over a brazier in the hall so one of the tapestries caught fire.

As they escaped through the servant entrance in the garden, Leliana glimpsed the courtyard through the trees and stopped, her heart sinking as she saw Ser Cautherine leading Awina away with a large retinue of Loghain’s elite guard.


	19. To Play the Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leliana finds herself forced to play a very dangerous game with a player she thought she had long abandoned.

“She what?!” Everyone exclaimed.

There was a tension in the air when Zevran and Leliana returned with Anora and Rendon’s other prisoners, but it was quickly apparent that Awina was not with them and when the two explained what had happened, an uneasy silence befell the room. It was Anora who spoke up, seeing how the loss had grievously struck them and realize, begrudgingly, that this woman was more valuable than she was.

“It is likely that Ser Cauthrine has taken her to Fort Draken, on my father’s orders. He will wish to make a spectacle of her execution before the Landsmeet to bring the rest of the quarreling nobles in line.”

“Then we must rescue her!” Leliana snapped shortly, anxiety eating at her at the thought of what could be happening to her in that prison.

“Fort Drakon will not be as simple as the Higheaver Estate. We must be incredibly careful…” Arl Eamon warned before they started to debate a course of action to take.

* * *

 

Awina sat in her cell, shivering, as she had been stripped of the armor she had been wearing and even the under clothes, leaving her practically naked on the chilled stone. Ser Cautherine had ensured she had locked her up in one of the special cells needed for mages. Like the storage room in the tower, a suppression spell had been carved into the stone work and imbued with lyrium, effectively blocking even the simplest of spells. It had only been a few hours, but she was already feeling restless yet tired. Awina wasn’t sure how she was going to get out of here with no clothes, no weapons, and no magic.

Perhaps the others would think of something, she thought as she let her eyes drift closed and fell into a light slumber.

“Ghk!” The templar guarding her gurgled before collapsing to the ground.

The noise of his heavily armored body crashing with the stone woke Awina up. Something suddenly felt amiss because it was too quiet, and both her guards were dead. She tensed and pressed her back to the wall. The torches had been put out, so she couldn’t see another, but she heard a whisper of movement just outside the bars.

A small flame suddenly flickered to life in a cleverly shielded lantern, casting its glow only into her cell. Awina blinked, eyes adjusting to the sudden light. She heard the heavy metal ‘click’ of a lock being opened yet the hinges did not yawn loudly as they had before, just made a soft crunching noise as if the rust had been oiled.

“You look a bit worse for wear, pretty thing.” A thick Orlesian voice called, Awina almost mistaking it for Leliana as it sounded somewhat familiar.

“Who are you?” She called, barely able to make out the figure until she realized they were wearing a heavy cloak with a hood.

“I am a friend or would like to be one at least. I did not know I had been in the company of a Grey Warden… THE Grey Warden, when we met in the Pearl all those months ago. I believe you were reading a book of Steel Age poetry.” She laughed, though keeping her voice low as to not draw attention.

“You?! How… how did you even know I was here and why are you helping me?” Awina said incredulously, recognizing the woman as she set the lantern down.

“I was sent by Empress Celene, to assess what was happening in Ferelden after her chevaliers were turned away at the border.” She replied, kneeling and slinging a small pack out from under her cloak. “When I learned what Teyrn Loghain had done to your king and this Blight… I knew I must help.”

Awina was surprised to find a pair of breeches and tunic made of simple cotton being laid at her feet, as well as a small dagger.

“It is not much but tis better than running about naked, no? Not that you aren’t pretty to look at.” The woman teased, making her cheeks sting with heat.

“Thank you.” Awina muttered, snatching up the clothes and putting them on.

The mage felt much better clothed and with a weapon in hand. Satisfied, the woman pulled her cloak over her head and covered the lantern.

“Stay close. I will get you somewhere safe.”

“I must get back to Arl Eamon…”

“No! That is where Loghain will expect you to run. You must hide, for now… and reappear when the time is right.” The woman sharply cut her off, making Awina bite her tongue in surprise. “I will return you to your Arl when it is safe. Come, we cannot stay here much longer.”

* * *

 

They had spent hours trying to figure out a plan to get Awina out of Fort Drakon and they could not agree on anything. Leliana had to leave the room, so anxious and distraught by their delay it was difficult to keep her anger in check. Maxis followed her out to one of the balconies on the upper floor, watching the bard worriedly. Leliana sniffed, a large lump in her throat as she could only imagine what Awina might be suffering there. Fort Drakon was nothing like the terrifying depths of the Bastille she had been trapped in for months, but her arms wrapped around herself as she thought of the marks that vile place had left on her.

“I know boy, I’m worried too.” Leliana whispered as she stroked the whimpering Mabari’s massive head, kneeling so she could lean into the loyal beast.

Time dragged on as Leliana’s mind obsessed on the danger her lover was in and how little she was doing to protect her. She began to grind her teeth and worry more when the sound of hurried footfalls behind her snapped her out of it. She turned around to see Alistair, still in his disguise, crossing the threshold of the door. He was short of breath for a few moments, but he recovered enough to speak.

“Leliana! She escaped!” He exclaimed.

“What?”

“Awina escape Fort Drakon. I guess we’re not as short on allies as we thought. Come on, a letter just arrived.”

The pair and the mabari hurried back to the council room, where Arl Eamon was holding a letter in his hand, a look of relief on his face. It had arrived not too long ago, indicating that a Grey Warden supporter had orchestrated Awina’s rescue. However, they could not directly return to Arl Eamon’s estate and were waiting for them in a back room in the Pearl, one Zevran was familiar with as it was used by smugglers and assassins to get in and out of the city unnoticed.

All of them leaving together would be too obvious, so Oghren, Leliana, Zevran, and Wynne went. Maxis insisted on coming, wanting to find his mistress and there was little they could do to stop the mabari anyway.

It was growing dark when they left Arl Eamon’s estate, people heading back home and the guard starting to rotate shifts for the evening. Vendors were closing up their stalls, but the silence did nothing to alleviate the tense air that blanketed the city. The Pearl was not as busy as it should have been on an evening, the proprietor greeting them and telling Zevran in a hushed voice that there were ‘Grey Warden allies’ waiting for them in the back, just as the letter had indicated. Leliana was anxious to see Awina safe, regret gnawing at her gut at the lies she had kept telling the mage and wondering if she had done enough damage to their relationship to drive the girl from her.

As soon as they entered the room, Zevran knew something was wrong. Five men stood there, the sixth a woman dressed in mercenary gear that belonged to a local Ferelden company. The two standing in the far back were qunari, their horns nearly scraping the ceiling. The leader smirked at them, drawing her weapon.

“So good of you to arrive. I was beginning to grow bored of waiting.” She drawled with a hint of a southern Ferelden accent, one that was often associated with the Avvari.

“Where is she?” Leliana demanded before anyone else could speak, noticing the mage was not here.

“What, the Warden? Oh, she was never here to begin with.” She laughed. “You know what to do, boys!”

The two qunari charged, armed with swords and daggers as the room was too small to permit the swinging of a heavy weapon… unless you were a dwarf like Oghren. His hammer caved in the stomach of the first that came within reach, crumpling him to the ground before the dwarf swung again and smashed his head into the floor. Wynne had to scramble out of the way as the remaining three soldiers tried to flank, Zevran and Leliana springing into action to intercept them. The battle was complete and utter chaos that sent patrons and staff of the Pearl running. Despite their advantage, the ambushers were losing and the woman at the center of it all was badly wounded, dragging herself into a corner as she was bleeding out from a poisoned wound Zevran had inflicted on her. With her men dead and her dying… there was nothing more she could do but there was no fear or despair in her gaze; just a cocky smugness that unnerved everyone.

“Fuckin’ useless qunari… should have realized room was too small for them.” She coughed as a pool of blood gathered under her.

“What did you do with our friend?” Leliana demanded, panic driving her now as it seemed Awina was still out of their reach.

“I didn’t, ghk, do anything. Should never… trust an Orlesian.” She hissed through clenched teeth as the process of dying so slowly was quite painful.

“Orlesian?!” Leliana gasped, her panic quickly turning into outright fear. “Who hired you?!”

“Ah… you know her, eh? Now it makes sense. Never got a name but… she….” Her words died on her last shuttering breath.

“NO! Wynne, do something?!” Leliana snarled after unsuccessfully trying to shake the woman awake.

“You know I can’t Leliana. She was too far gone as it is.” Wynne said a bit stiffly, wary of Leliana’s sudden change in demeanor. “We should investigate the room, see if we can’t find some clue why we were led into this ambush.”

And search they did, though the room yielded little of anything except for the leader. Leliana found a folded note tucked inside the woman’s gauntlet. Instead of telling the group, however, she tucked it away and shook her head when asked if they had found anything. Oghren spat at the ground and shook his head.

“We ain’t gunna find the lass like this. We best git back to the estate ‘efore the guard come around. Sure they won’t let us back in here feh awhile.”

Zevran led them out the back out along the docks and they managed their way back to the Redcliffe Estate without arousing suspicion. Alistair and Arl Eamon looked crestfallen when they returned without Awina with them. When they told them about the ambush, Morrigan started to look worried.

“So… we either wasted time chasing a false lead and she is still in the prison or someone else has gotten to her first.” Morrigan concluded, worry still etched across her face.

“Who else would have an interest in the Grey Wardens or Awina besides Loghain?” Alistair asked. “She didn’t have any enemies.”

“Has anyone noticed our lovely bard is missing?” Zevran said after having a look around the room and noticing Leliana had slipped away.

To their surprise, no one saw her in the room nor could anyone recall her leaving, meaning she slipped out very quietly. Zevran sighed, beginning to suspect what this was about… and that Awina was in severe danger. He cleared his throat, knowing this was going to come out in the open and the bard had waited too long.

“I suspect this has nothing to do with Awina herself or the Grey Wardens… but Awina was targeted by an incredibly dangerous adversary because of Leliana.”


	20. Web of Lies

“This is a lovely place,” Awina commented as she was led into the woman’s safe house, noting how neatly organized it was. “Are you certain no one would find this place?”

“I have been using this place for the better part of a decade when I have dealings in Ferelden.” She explained. “Oh, in all the excitement I have completely taken leave of my manners. I am Marjolaine.”

The woman vanished into a side room yet Awina found herself wound tight. The crushed velvet chairs looked invitingly comfortable, but she did not wish to sit. Though her stay in Fort Drakon had been brief, all things considered, the sensation of being so cut off from the Fade unsettled even the most hardened of mages. Marjolaine returned with a pair of polished earthenware cups.

“Tis a bit simple but they serve their purpose.” She chuckles as she hands Awina one of the cups before sipping from her own.

“And you truly believe there is no way to contact my companions? They should at least know I’m alright.” Awina argued again, Marjolaine sighing with clear indignation.

“No. The situation is more complicated than you see. Loghain has had a spy amongst you for quite some time in your journey.”

“You mean Zevran? No… he was forsaken by the Crows once he failed to kill us. He’d have no reason to help Loghain.” Awina snapped, staring angrily at the woman as she seemed now to be attacking her friends.

“No, not the Crow. I’ve had dealings with them before and once one fails a task, there is no return… unless they have powerful company like you.” Marjolaine said, her voice dropping softly and placing a hand gently on Awina’s hand for a brief moment. “Tell me how you met the bard who travels with you.”

“Leliana? She was a Ley Sister in Lothering, she kept some of Loghain’s men from killing us there.” Awina said, feeling soothed for the moment.

“I imagine then, any kind of helping hand would be a welcome sight, considering what happened at Ostagar. However, have you ever considered why she was able to keep them from killing you?”

There was a cold twist in her heart as a seething rage blossomed in her, clenching her hand so tightly the cup shattered into pieces, spilling her drink all over the floor and leaving a couple of shallow cuts on the palm of her hand from the sharper shards. Marjolaine’s expression remained impassive as the mage quaked with visible rage.

“How dare you… you don’t know her!! She would never betray me!” The mage snarled.

“I know her better than you, Awina.” Marjolaine said, speaking the girl’s name to catch her off-guard. “I know her because I was her mentor years ago. I was the one who molded her into the bard she is now, a guileless creature who would do anything to get close to her mark and keep them close until it was time to strike.”

“W-what? No… no… I know she’s a bard but she’d…” Awina stammered, at a sudden loss for words. “No, you’re wrong! Leliana is not that anymore!’

The corner of Marjolaine’s lip curled into a flicker of a smile as she left Awina’s side and retrieved something from her bedroom. The mage noticed documents in her hand and took them with a slight tremble in her own. Marjolaine left to fetch another cup while Awina read them over. It was a correspondence between Teyrn Loghain and Rendon Howe, detailing the hiring of an Orlesian bard to intercept messages from King Cailin to Empress Celene… amongst many other deeds. As she kept leafing through them, there were details about ambushes they had dealt with in the past couple of months and…

Awina threw the papers on the ground and turned away, mumbling under her breath and pressing the heels of her hands to her temples. Marjolaine watched her as she passed, seeing the anguish she was breeding inside the girl and it made her shiver.

“I am sorry. Leliana is quite brilliantly skilled at deception. She surpassed me in many ways.”

“I… I don’t understand this. After everything, she’s been lying?!” Awina said with a panicked anger cracking into her voice. “She… she said she loved me.”

“Ah, another thing I’ve taught her too well; how to play one’s heart as expertly as she plays her lute. Come, sit and drink. You need to calm your nerves.” Marjolaine urged gently, holding the cup out to her.

She sighed and took the cup from Marjolaine before sitting down in one of the plush seats, sinking into the material as she quietly sipped. The silence between them dragged on, Marjolaine carefully studying the anguish on the Warden’s face as she coyly hid her own enjoyment of the predicament.

“Years ago, we were hired to swap papers a visiting dog… Ferelden lord was carrying with him with fakes that would ignite a feud.” Marjolaine started to explain. “I did not know that Leliana was selling Orlesian secrets until that night. I caught a glimpse of the documents as she was planting them and recognized the seals. I tried to reason with her, but she believes herself to be an utter master of The Grand Game.”

Awina continued listening with rapt attention as Marjolaine spun the of how Leliana had turned Commander Raleigh on her before she could report the theft back to Empress Celene and her court. She barely escaped, at the cost of her companions, and later assisted with hunting the rogue bard down and having her locked in the Bastille.

“But, eventually, she escaped and vanished. It was by chance, during your first visit to Denerim, that I saw her again. I had hoped, perhaps, she had died.” Marjolaine sighs. “But now she is playing The Game by her own rules and that does not bode well for you or Ferelden’s future.”

* * *

Leliana swallowed nervously, having feared this day for months now, her worst nightmare may have come to fruition. Everyone was staring at her, waiting for her to speak and for the second time in her life… Leliana could not find the words.

“Leliana.” Alistair said, noticing the conflict warring in her expression. “Please… if Awina is in danger…”

“I… I’m sorry. I should have never hidden this from any of you… especially Awina and now…” the bard chokes on the words at the thought that Marjolaine had her lover.

“Out with it, woman. Your foolishness has endangered Awina and if you actually love her…” Morrigan started to snarl at her, surprisingly agitated by the predicament.

The witch’s sharp words snapped Leliana out of her thoughts, enflaming her anger and she rounded on the witch so fast, Zevran had to grab her and hold her back before she lunged at the woman. Her golden eyes held a dripping look of absolute contempt for the woman as if she was looking down upon Leliana.

“A heartless bitch like you would never understand what I feel for her!” Leliana hissed at her.

“And yet her life is at risk because of you! Tis no wonder you two never…” Morrigan started to retort until Alistair stepped between them.

“ENOUGH!! Awina is in danger. Loghain will know she’s escaped and she doesn’t know she’s in the company of someone incredibly dangerous!” He snapped at them both, Morrigan and Leliana both having the grace to look admonished. They both mumbled apologies and Leliana shrugged her way out of Zevran’s grasp, forcing herself to calm down.

“My former mentor, Marjolaine… she’s here in Ferelden. I’ve always feared she might come after me again once I had escaped the Bastille and I have given her the perfect target. I imagine she has waited years for this opportunity.” Leliana sighed, posture slumping in defeat.

“How does she even know about you and Awina?” Wynne chimed in.

“If I had to guess, she has been keeping an eye on me far longer than I care to think about. Tis likely she may have seen me and Awina whenever we were in Denerim or Redcliffe, or one of her spies. It doesn’t matter now how she found out… she has her and Maker knows what she’s doing to her.”

“There’s been no word from my contacts within the castle. If Loghain has learned of her escape, he is keeping it quiet and this Marjolaine hasn’t turned her over to him.” Arl Eamon interjected, present for the conversation as this was a major concern and jeopardized all their plans.

“Then what could she have possibly taken Awina for?!” Morrigan huffed.

“To torture me.” Leliana spoke up. “I met Marjolaine when I was young, very young. We grew close, she took me under her wing and…” She hesitated a moment, swallowing the bitter pill. “I was her lover for many years. I lived and breathed for her once… until she turned on me when I tried to protect her.”

“Ah… now it begins to make sense.” Zevran mused. “What did you do to have her get you thrown in the Bastille?”

“We were doing a job here, in Ferelden. We were planting papers in a noble’s home, but my curiosity got the best of me and I chanced a look. I discovered that Marjolaine was stealing and trading Orlesian secrets… a treasonous act and complete violation of the Grand Game. I feared for her safety and convinced her to steal the papers back.” Leliana explained her past, clenching and unclenching her fists as a small tremor took hold of her and her jaw tightened.

“Instead, she set me up. Guards were waiting for me at the rendezvous, with Marjolaine and their commander. She believed that I would betray her, so betrayed me first. She didn’t kill me, but she left me to the authorities. I was given back to Orlais and treason is heavily punished, often through years of torture.”

There was a stunned silence as everyone processed the story. Leliana, of course, had omitted details such as the companions that had also fallen to Marjolaine’s treachery or her long sordid history with the woman, but it was enough. When she rescued Awina from her, she would give her the whole truth; it was the least of what she owed her.

“Ok, so we understand why Marjolaine targeted her but… where would she take her?” Zevran spoke up, breaking the silence.

“She can’t leave Ferelden, not with the borders shut down by Loghain’s orders and the fear of the Blight.” Arl Eamon said after a few moments of thought. “Would she keep Awina in Denerim somewhere?”

“It’s… possible.” Leliana muttered nervously. “If she intends to hurt me, she would not take Awina far. I would chase her to the ends of the world to get her back.” As she spoke, a thought dawned on her. “Marjolaine has a safe house here, in the poorer parts of the city. She knows I know where it is… she may have taken Awina there.”

“Then we have to go now!” Alistair exclaimed, heading for the door but Leliana moved to block his way.

“No! Marjolaine may be expecting an assault and she will have traps and the advantage. We… I cannot risk Awina being hurt further because of my stupidity and negligence to act. I will confront her.” Leliana retorted firmly, gently pushing Alistair back.

“Leliana, you can’t do this alone,” Wynne warned.

“I will take Maxis with me, to ensure Marjolaine has not laid a false trail for me but I must make this right to her. Just… let me do this.” She said sternly as if daring them to challenge her.

No one did, just a quiet agreement that this was Leliana’s task alone to handle. Morrigan said nothing, just turned her back on her. Alistair and Zevran were sympathetic, Shale and Sten impassive, and everyone else was unsure of what kind of support to offer, if any more. Leliana looked down at Maxis, the mabari looking up at her and chuffing impatiently; it was time to put this to rest once and for all.

 


	21. Unravel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a rough time lately and haven't had much inspiration for working on these fanfictions for awhile but I'm finally getting around to updating again. Thank you for your continued support and patience. It's always great to see new favorites and follow... even better when I get a new comment.

Leliana knew better than to approach the front door, as it was an approach her bard master would expect from. Her heart was hammering against her ribs, blood surging with panic and rage in equal measure but she could not go in there recklessly. It was likely Marjolaine had the place rigged with traps and she would have to take a less obvious means of getting in. However, her attempts to be tactical were quickly thwarted when, with irritated impatience, Maxis launched himself through one of the windows. The shattering glass was a dead give-away but the mabari’s entrance was unexpected and judging from the scrambling she heard inside, Marjolaine certainly had not been expecting a dog to come jumping through one of her windows.

“Mangy mutt!” Marjolaine nearly shrieked as the beast’s muzzle snapped at her hand dangerously close.

Her head came up sharply when she heard footfalls crunch upon the shattered glass, not at all surprised to see Leliana come into the room through the bedroom. She had not counted on the mabari bursting into the safe house, effectively separating her from her weaponry but it was only a minor set-back as she smirked at her former pupil looking at her with seething fury.

“You think I’d forget, pretty thing?” Marjolaine taunted. “You were never far from my sight.”

“I swear on the Maker, where…” Leliana started to growl but her eyes followed Marjolaine’s glance to the side and a pained noise escaped her throat.

Awina sat slumped in her chair, skin deathly pale and her veins standing out a sickly dark green against her skin. Her chest barely rose and fell with her shallow breathing. Leliana took a step at Marjolaine, Maxis snarling and making a deep woof, which frightened Marjolaine but not enough for her to not pull the vial she had on her from her pocket, holding it up in front of her face.

“Quiet Death… I’m actually quite impressed she’s still alive but then… poisoning Grey Wardens is always an inexact science.” Marjolaine smirked, dangling the vial. “Your precious mage-ling whore won’t last for much longer.”

“Why?! She’s not involved with any of this.” Leliana protested, knowing she had to get her back to Morrigan and Wynne soon for her to have any hope of surviving.

“Because of The Game, little bird… and because you deserve nothing but suffering for what you tried to do to me.” Marjolaine spat vehemently, her voice now with a sharp edge to it.

“I was only trying to protect you! The Empress herself would have strung you up for what you were doing!!” The former bard growled between tightly clenched teeth. “You should have ROTTED in the Bastille!”

“Tsk, so soft of heart, always a weakness of yours.” Marjolaine sniffed, tucking the vial back into her breeches. “Now, I’m going to walk out of here or she is going to die… and it will all be your fault.”

Leliana faltered, knowing that she had been outplayed here. If she attempted to apprehend or murder Marjolaine now, it was precious seconds on Awina’s life she would be wasting on top of what was already slipping away with each shuddering breath. She glanced at Awina, torn between her vengeance and her love. Mabri refused to let Marjolaine move, teeth bared, and every muscle bunched, prepared to lunge and rip her to pieces.

“Maxis, down.” Leliana said with defeat, shoulder slumping as the fire died out in her.

“Predictable. You don’t have the guts anymore.” Marjolaine chided snidely as the dog slunk away from her and to Leliana’s side. “I will see you again, pretty thing. You will never be rid of me.”

Once her former bardmaster was gone, Leliana ran to Awina’s side and scooped her up out of the chair. She murmured something, but the mage was ice cold to the touch and trembling, skin nearly white.

“I have you, ma cherie. Please, hold on.”

The trek back to Eamon’s Estate felt torturously long as Leliana clutched Awina close to her. The guard immediately saw her approaching the sealed gates in the middle of the night and sent word inside. She refused help from anyone until she reached Wynne and Morrigan, who had indecipherable expressions when the bard laid Awina down upon a bed.

“What happened?!” Alistair demanded, panicked by his comrade’s condition.

“Quiet Death. I don’t know how much Marjolaine gave her but…” Leliana choked, unable to take her eyes off Awina.

“I’ve never seen it do this to someone.” Zevran remarked with amazement.

“It likely has to do with the fact she’s already poisoned, in a way.” Morrigan retorted, glancing at Wynne. “The Taint is keeping her alive, somewhat, but if we don’t expel the poison soon and start healing her, she will die.”

“Yes, this is bad, even for a Grey Warden.” Wynne said gravely. “It will take both of us to keep her anchored. Leliana, you will stay but the rest of you, out. We’ll need space.”

Morrigan nodded with no protest. Alistair was reluctant to leave Awina’s side but another stern tutting from the elder mage and he left the room, Zevran immediately putting an arm around him to keep the man from falling to pieces. Leliana swallowed, knowing this was all her fault and the two mages could see the anguish clearly on her face.

“We’re fortunate you did not bring back a corpse.” Morrigan quipped, cracking her knuckles. “She will be alright, Leliana.”

The witch’s assurance was a surprise, which brought comfort to the bard as the two mages began to work. At first, it did not seem their spells were doing anything but the blackness in her veins started to recede and color returned to her flesh slowly but surely. Minutes dragged on like hours and it was clear both Morrigan and Wynne were growing tired from their efforts. Silver eyes suddenly shot upon and Awina arched off the bed, starting to thrash with a seizure.

“Leliana! Hold her! Don’t let her choke on her tongue!” Morrigan barked from behind clenched teeth as she threw her efforts into maintaining the spell her and Wynne were weaving.

Leliana tried to hold her still but Awina was strong; their months of travel and fighting as well as the strength given to her by the Taint was nearly overwhelming. She cursed when Awina bit her as she tried to keep the woman from biting her own tongue off. Her screams of pain were agony and could be heard through most of the estate as the poison was leeched from her body by Morrigan and Wynne repaired the extensive damage it had caused. Awina’s eyes glossed milk white and the black veins stood out in stark contrast around her eyes and along her neck; the Taint was fighting back.

“They’re coming… they’re coming…” She muttered in a cold sweat, her thrashing starting to calm and her eyes fluttering closed.

“Maker, we’re through the worst of it.” Wynne sighed, slumping in exhaustion as she released the spell, Morrigan looking equally exhausted.

Awina still twitched, eyes fluttering under her lids rapidly. Leliana stared down at her, worrying at her bottom lip as she relaxed her grip. There was a stinging red mark on her cheek, having lost control of Awina’s arms for a moment and getting back-handed quite hard and her right hand had a bruised bite mark, but she ignored them as her attention was focused completely on her young love. Both mages noticed this and decided there was no danger from the bard; she was never going to let Awina out of her sight now.

“She… will need rest.” Morrigan sighed, looking quite drained. “Let us know if something changes with her. We need to rest.”

Though Leliana did not look up, she nodded and muttered her thanks to the two of them as they left the room. Awina’s chest rose and fell heavily as she slumbered, sweat glistening on her brow. Leliana swallowed thickly, unsure what would happen now.

“Awina, I’m so sorry.”


	22. What Must Be Done

Two days passed and Awina was weak and bed-ridden. The group worried that be well enough for the Landsmeet but they could not stop the events that were already in motion. The day of the Landsmeet was upon them and the night before was spent in heated argument about their course of action. Anora was insistent, almost demanding, that she was their only hope of overthrowing Loghain's control of Ferelden but Arl Eamon had other plans; he wished for Alistair to take his half-brother's place as king. Though there was no proof he was a Maric's bastard, Arl Eamon's word carried just as much weight as Loghain's and in these troubled times, Loghain wasn't making many friends. Many nobles fell in line behind him out of fear but with Arl Howe now dead, their courage was returning.

"We are wasting time with this!" Morrigan snapped, having been stuck in the room for hours now.

Arl Eamon and Queen Anora both glared at each other heatedly, unwilling to budge. Alistair was trying to make himself as small as possible and avoided much of the conversation aside from protesting how much of a bad idea it was to make him king. Zevran and Leliana had both been listening, though it was noticeable the bard would rather be at Awina's side rather than bickering about this. Sten and Shale were both standing impassively by the door. This stalemate had been going on for hours and would be their undoing at the Landsmeet.

"I am the Queen!" Anora snapped at Eamon, having repeated the phrase numerous times through the course of the evening.

"You were the Queen, Anora. Cailin is dead because of Loghain." Arl Eamon protested once more. "Alistair is the next legitimate heir."

"Says you!" She snarled angrily, unwilling to give up her position of power to a man who clearly did not want it.

"OH for Maker's sake!" Leliana shouted, her irritation boiling over as the reached this impasse yet again. "This is pointless! Just fucking marry!"

Everyone started at her rather angry suggestion, Eamon sharing a look with Anora before both turned to Alistair, who was incredibly alarmed by the suggestion.

"M-marry Anora?! Are you daft Leliana? I can't get married!" He protested lamely, his composure not all there.

"Gah, no wonder Ferelden's are viewed so lowly by most of Thedas." Leliana snorted with disgust. "You care too much about legitimacy and who came from who's loins. You're a widowed Queen, like it or not and you have very little claim to the throne, especially once Loghain is apprehended or killed." The bard explained sharply.

Anora opened her mouth to immediately protest but Leliana was having none of it and interrupted immediately.

"There's no proof Alistair's the bastard child of King Maric aside from your word, Eamon. I'm sure enough people will let it slide given that we've got Darkspawn right on our doorstep but afterwards, that acceptance won't last long." She huffed, giving Arl Eamon a similarly icy stare she had just Anora. "The only way to get you two to stop bickering is that Anora and Alistair get married. You don't have to give up your cushioned seat on the throne and Alistair is legitimized by marrying the queen."

There was a long silence and Morrigan looked like she could probably kiss Leliana right now for breaking the aggravating stalemate. Arl Eamon and Queen Anora brooded over the Orlesian's words, finding that her logical solution was a viable course of action that would satisfy them both. Alistair could see the decision was made and sighed in defeated acceptance, given that he wasn't going to get much say in this and if he had to be completely honest, this was necessary. Anora seemed eager to keep her station so maybe he could just let her run the country and all he had to do was wear a fancy hat and smile occasionally.

"Alright, this seems like an acceptable solution. After the Landsmeet, we'll…" Queen Anora started to say.

"No. Now." Leliana interrupted. "The estate has a chapel and I will gather the Revered Mother from the Chantry. We have plenty of witnesses and it will all be official, else Loghain is going to rip the claim apart at the Landsmeet."

Bullied into no other choice, the three meekly agreed to the conditions and while everyone gathered in the chapel, including some of the noble supporters they had gathered, Leliana went to appeal and cajole the Revered Mother to perform the ceremony. By midnight, Anora and Alistair were married, and it was officiated in the Chantry records, making the arrangement irrefutable. Exhausted by the proceedings and knowing the next day would be even more exhausting, Leliana left without a word to anyone and returned to the room Awina was in.

The mage was sound asleep, the room dark aside from the clear moonlight coming in through the window. Leliana sighed, closing the door quietly behind her. Maxis chuffed in greeting before letting his eyes closed again, completely relaxed around Leliana. The bard took off her boots and changed out of her breeches and tunic into a more comfortable sleeping shift before sliding into bed behind her mage. The feel of the woman's warm body pressed into her back stirred Awina from her slumber and she sighed, alerting Leliana that she had woken.

"Shhh… go back to sleep." Leliana cooed comfortingly but Awina just rolled over onto her back so she could see the bard.

"How did it go?" She asked, voice weak and soft.

"Alistair and Anora are married. It was the only way to get them to shut up and stop bickering like old hens. Anora didn't want to give up her power and Arl Eamon wasn't going to leave it alone unless Alistair was crowned." Leliana sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Alistair married?" Awina said with a light humor. "I'm sorry I missed it."

"He wasn't thrilled. I feel bad about it, but it was necessary, and I think he understands that."

They fell into a long silence and Leliana wondered if the mage had gone back to sleep, but she noticed the faint glow of her eyes in the darkness as they flickered to the side to gaze upon her face. Her expression was quite serious and that made Leliana's stomach twist, knowing the words that would come from those lips before they even formed.

"Why did you not tell me about Marjolaine?"

"I… I have no excuse aside from fear. I wanted to forget her." Leliana replied softly, knowing she had to be honest. "I prayed she was gone for good, but I was wrong, and it nearly cost you your life."

"She claimed you were spying for Loghain. That's why they didn't attack us in Lothering…" She muttered, staring at Leliana's face. "Was anything she said true? Are you going to keep lying to me?"

Leliana held those silver eyes with her own, pushing herself up so she was above Awina. The pregnant silence dragged on for several minutes, as Leliana studied her expression in the moonlight.

"No, I was never spying. I was hiding in Lothering because I am a wanted woman in Orlais. I escaped prison, killed people to do so… I did not wish to be found. The… vision was a lie I told myself, the Chantry… you, to justify what I was doing." Leliana explained, her gaze never wavering from her love's face. "I wanted to forget Marjolaine and leave her in the past. I was a fool to think she truly let me escape."

"Do you love me?" Awina asked her.

"With all my heart. I have never lied about that and you've seen my desire… in the Fade." Leliana whispered, worry starting to eat at her about this conversation.

Awina's gaze pulled away and she was silent for a long time. Leliana reached out and brushed back a lock of black hair, drawing those glowing silver eyes back to her. There was an uncertainty in her gaze now and she noticed the mage swallow thickly.

"Marjolaine described… what the two of you would do, in great detail." Awina muttered, looking away again. "She laughed when I admitted we hadn't… said I would never be able to satisfy you."

Leliana balked at that and immediately pushed Awina's face towards her and kissed her soundly. A small murmur whispered across the bard's lips as the mage tried to process what was going on. The bard pressed the full length of her body down upon her for a few seconds before pulling away, straddling Awina's hips between her powerful legs.

"Marjolaine is wrong." She hissed before a remorseful look crossed the bard's face. "I… was afraid you would hate how I looked."

"W-what? Leliana you're gorgeous!" Awina protested, confused by her admission.

Wordlessly, Leliana lifted her shift off and the mage could see more of the bard than she had before. Leliana had always been secluded when bathing or changing clothes, not wanting anyone to see the scars that marred her skin. Awina had felt them with stolen caresses under her clothes but assumed they were just acquired through battle. Now that she could see them in the moonlight, there was a frightening amount in an array of shapes and patterns.

"Traitors in Orlais are reviled. A death sentence is not enough… there is sport in torturing those who would trade state secrets." Leliana explained, feeling incredibly self-conscious. "It should have been Marjolaine in the Bastille, but she outplayed me, used my love for her against me and this is the price I paid."

Awina stared, tracing a wicked scar that curved around her hip and an anger boiled in her from the abuse this woman has suffered. She imagined there was more than just being tortured Leliana had suffered through. She would not ask though, seeing the discomfort and pain just this revelation alone brought to her bard. Leliana jumped when she felt fingers stroke through the soft down between her legs, gently exploring her.

"You are incredibly soft…" Awina commented, her voice and eyes so full of lust, it took away Leliana's breath.

The touch moved to her inner thigh, then traveled up a series of scars to her breasts. Awina scowled as she assessed the damage done to her but found Leliana beautiful nonetheless. The bard still looked incredibly uncomfortable being so exposed and Awina thought to change that. However, she was still too weak, so her attempt to sit up ended with her flopping back on the bed and cursing.

"I appear to not have all my strength back." She sighed with frustration. "Here you are, sitting atop me naked and I can barely lift myself."

"Awina…" Leliana muttered, a bit surprised the warden was trying to engage more intimately with her despite having nearly died just days ago. "I don't expect you to…"

"I will do as I must… if anything, to just prove that bitch wrong." Awina said flatly, putting her hands back on Leliana's hips. "After we stop the Blight, I'm going to find her and repay her for everything she's done to you and to me."

The sharp zeal in Awina's tone stole the breath from Leliana again as she held the mage's gaze, suddenly forgetting her scars as a dark, possessive lust swirled in those silver pools, almost as if the lyrium that suffused her being were alive. A look of concentration passed over the mage's face as she assessed the prize she had dreamed of just out of reach of what she wished to do, and a thought came to her mind.

"We've waited long enough, and I'll be damned if this opportunity passes us once more." Awina grumbled, adjusting the pillows underneath her head. "You'll just have to sit on my face."

Leliana burst out laughing, caught completely off-guard by the callous statement. Awina grinned, equally amused and a bit embarrassed by making such a lewd statement out loud. The bard smiled as she moved, Awina's head now between her legs as she gripped the headboard. This was not how she expected the conversation to turn but now she was becoming aroused by anticipation alone. Awina glanced up at her, admiring the view of the bard looking down at her from over her breasts. She sighed as calloused hands grabbed her backside quite firmly.

"Forgive me, I'm a bit out of practice." Awina teased.

"You've been with women befo-oh!" Leliana's question was interrupted as the mage answered it for her.

If her lover was out of practice, it certainly didn't show as that tongue and lips explored her, finding the spots that made her tremble and moan with pleasure the most, tasting her, pleasuring her in a way Leliana could not recall ever experiencing before. Awina's attentions were tender, gentle but confident. None of the awkwardness of inexperience but focused on one task; bringing Leliana pleasure. To banish the pain and darkness of the past few days Marjolaine had brought with her. Her grip tightened, the strokes of her tongue becoming more insistent and Leliana could not help rolling her hips along with her, muttering profanities and commands in Orlesian, not that Awina understood any of it. She made a squeaking sound as Leliana grabbed a fist full of her hair tightly in one hand, completely lost and relinquishing all decorum and control as she indulged herself fully. Maxis's head shot up when Leliana screamed, coming completely undone on top of Awina, the mage enduring her relentless assault upon her bruised lips, barely able to breathe but dutifully drinking up her lover's satisfaction and easing her down until Leliana let go of her, bracing herself against the headboard and panting.

Leliana moved back down and kissed Awina, groaning as she tasted herself upon the mage's lips, the full length of her naked body pressed upon the mage's. Awina smiled when she pulled away, glad to see the darkness banished from her lover's eyes.

"I prefer to see you smiling." She said softly, pulling Leliana to her so they could cuddle.

"That… out of practice my arse." Leliana laughed, playfully slapping her on the shoulder. "Maker, that felt so divine."

"Good." Awina sighed happily, looking quite tired as was Leliana. "I am quite tired, as are you. Sleep… maybe I'll have a bit more strength in the morning." She teased suggestively, rolling on her side as Leliana giggled at the implication.


End file.
